Irina Alexander on The C.A.R.E.S.™ Approach to Real Resilience

Business leader and mentor Irina Alexander joins Rich to unpack a neuroscience-rooted framework for staying regulated under pressure—especially in high-stress fields like first response and frontline leadership. She explains her C.A.R.E.S.™ approach (Communication, Awareness, Resilience, Emotional literacy, Self-mastery), why “knowing isn’t enough,” and how resilience is the byproduct of daily practices. Irina also shares candid stories of burnout, recovery, and the practical tools that help people shift from reactivity to regulation. 

Sponsored by Maryland Pickers 

Guest Bio:  

Irina Alexander is a businesswoman, investor, and international speaker who founded The Academy of MotivAction, a neuroscience-based training company serving first responders, corporate teams, and entrepreneurs. An MBA by 21 and certified NLP trainer, she’s built and sold companies (including in HVAC), mentors’ founders, and now focuses on scalable training that equips people to communicate better, regulate emotion under stress, and lead with integrity. 

Main Topics: 

·         Irina’s path from the former USSR to global entrepreneurship and mentorship

·         Language learning and early international experiences (incl. China, Mandarin)

·         Building in male-dominated industries and using “what makes you different” as an advantage

·         Burnout: causes, warning signs, and honest self-assessment

·         The C.A.R.E.S.™ Approach: Communication, Awareness, Resilience (as byproduct), Emotional literacy, Self-mastery

·         Practical tools for emotional regulation vs. emotional reactivity

·         Mentorship vs. “cookie-cutter” coaching; word-of-mouth model

·         First responders & frontline pros: culture, stigma, proactive skill-building

·         Meditation, BrainTap, and making quiet achievable for busy minds

·         Fear of rejection → “Everything is possible” reframing

·         Mirror wor

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Chapters

• 0:00 10 Years
• 2:10 Meet Irina Alexander: mission, background, and scope of work
• 4:44 Growing up in the USSR, curiosity, early travel to China & Mandarin
• 9:26 [Ad] PodMatch
• 10:04 (Cont.) Growing up in the USSR, curiosity, early travel to China & Mandarin
• 10:04 Dancing, entrepreneurship sparks, and early lessons learned
• 13:09 Stereotypes, standing out in male-dominated rooms, owning it
• 15:17 HVAC: scaling fast, hiring challenges, and exit
• 16:12 Other ventures: boutique, Amazon store, real estate license
• 17:31 Founding Motive Action Academy; why mentorship over “programs”
• 22:08 The anatomy of burnout: family load, overwork, and honesty
• 23:32 Big misconception: “knowing isn’t enough” in mental health
• 27:01 The C.A.R.E.S.™ Approach explained (and resilience as a byproduct)
• 28:35 From reactivity to regulation: awareness & self-honesty practices
• 31:15 Delivery model: speaking, workshops, and word-of-mouth mentorship
• 32:26 Sponsor: Maryland Pickers ad break
• 33:36 Client turnaround: from cancer & COVID losses to thriving growth
• 37:09 Mission: train 1M people; parenting & standing up to bullies
• 42:04 Skip small talk: meaningful conversations and time integrity
• 44:53 Changing systems: leadership’s role in frontline mental health
• 46:34 Why proactive tools beat one-off “mandatory” therapy checkboxes
• 49:47 Meditation finally clicks: BrainTap and quieting the inner noise
• 53:48 What’s a zero-gravity chair (and is there a weight limit)?
• 55:12 Shedding fear of rejection → “Everything is possible
• 56:26 For the burned-out high achiever: start with the mirror
• 1:00:11 The random question: life purpose in one sentence
• 1:02:03 Outro & supporter roll (Real Life Prosthetics, Full Circle Boards, Sincerely Sawyer Photography)

Transcript

Wendy & Rich 0:00
Hey, everyone is Rich Bennett. Can you believe it? The show is turning 10 this year. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who've tuned in, shared a episode, or even joined the conversation over the years. You're the reason that this podcast has grown into what it is today. Together, we've shared laughs, tears, and moments that truly matter. So I want to thank you for being part of this journey. Let's make the next 10 years even better. Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios Haafer County Living presents Conversations with Rich Bennett. 

No, no, no. It's just who it is. 

Rich Bennett 1:00
You ever meet someone who's not just changing lives, but changing how we think about how we live. Today on Conversations with Rich Bennett, we're diving into a conversation that blends brain science, resilience, and real world results. My guest is Erena Alexander, a powerhouse businesswoman, investor, and speaker who's been on a 20-year global mission to decode what makes people not just successful, but unshakable. She's the founder and CEO of the Academy of Motive Action. I love that name. A neuroscience-based training company, making serious waves and high-stress industries like first responders, corporate leadership, and more. Her signature framework, The Care's Approach, doesn't just talk about emotional wellness. It teaches you how to build it, especially when the pressure is on. With an MBA by 21, top tier credentials in coaching and neuro-linguistic programming, and real world street cred, Erena built her way to the top. Ready for this? 1.6% of women-owned businesses in a male-dominated industry. But what sets her apart isn't just her success. It's her mission to bring science-backed tools for growth and regulation to one million people across the globe. We're talking about mind-scent, mental health, performance under pressure, and how to shift from burnout to bold action. So whether you're our first responder, entrepreneur, leader, or just feeling stretched-thin, Erena brings the clarity and tools to help you not just survive, but thrive. So bugle up, grab your tea, grab your coffee, whatever you want to drink, because this is more than a conversation. It's an invitation to elevate, so let's jump in. How you doing, Erena? 

Irina Alexander  3:02
Thank you, for the introduction. I'm impressed with me. 

Rich Bennett 3:10
I guess I don't have to talk anymore. I just told you everybody's badger, right? I wouldn't get right into this. So, you've had a 20-year journey across the globe studying, success, and human potential. What was the moment or experience that first lit the fire in you to pursue this path? 

Irina Alexander  3:34
I wish I could say it was just one thing, but it was a journey, like the whole life is a journey. 

Rich Bennett 3:42
Right. 

Irina Alexander  3:42
And it's been a journey from the time I, because I was born in USSR, the countries that doesn't exist anymore, and raised there, from the time I was raised by my mom by a single mom, single 

Rich Bennett 4:01
The 

Irina Alexander  4:01
parents. 

Rich Bennett 4:01
time you were white? 

Irina Alexander  4:02
When I was born, I was raised by a single mom, 

Rich Bennett 4:04
so Oh, 

Irina Alexander  4:06
And household, and just 

Rich Bennett 4:07
okay. 

Irina Alexander  4:08
how I've seen the world, the Soviet Union school, right? 

Rich Bennett 4:14
Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  4:15
The mentality is there in curiosity that I was like, okay, I want to be more, I want to do more, but what does it take? And the fact that I was traveling from very young age, opened my eyes to be very curious on 

Rich Bennett 4:36
good, 

Irina Alexander  4:37
the success in just overall human potential around the world and like, what's going on? Why is it happening? Why some people are successful and why not? So it's a pure curiosity from very young age. 

Rich Bennett 4:53
Right. So how long before you came to the States? Or even when you were growing up, were you traveling to the States and all over the country? 

Irina Alexander  5:00
All 

Rich Bennett 5:01
over the world, I should say. 

Irina Alexander  5:03
So my first country was China. 

Rich Bennett 5:06
Oh, wow. 

Irina Alexander  5:08
Uh, and that's where was my first international travel, and then I uh, used to work there. My first job was a travel guide in China. 

Rich Bennett 5:19
Really? 

Irina Alexander  5:19
So I do speak Mandarin. 

Rich Bennett 5:23
Wow. 

Irina Alexander  5:24
Uh, and uh, so yeah, and I think my first trip was when I was around 10. 

Rich Bennett 5:31
To 

Irina Alexander  5:31
To 

Rich Bennett 5:31
China? 

Irina Alexander  5:32
China. Yes. And at the age of 13, I spent a month at university in China. Well, hold 

Rich Bennett 5:42
up. Wait a minute. At 13, you're at university. 

Irina Alexander  5:45
Yes, I was, I spent one month during the summer at university in China at the age of 13. 

Rich Bennett 5:51
All 

Irina Alexander  5:51
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 5:52
right. I take it to universities there aren't like the universities here. 

Irina Alexander  5:56
Oh, well, it was a summer program and I was the youngest student. 

Rich Bennett 6:01
How old was everybody else around? 

Irina Alexander  6:04
I mean curious, I guess 

Rich Bennett 6:08
Wow. 

Irina Alexander  6:08
impressed. 

Rich Bennett 6:09
Holy cow. That's amazing. I'd, I'd be lost. 

Irina Alexander  6:15
Uh, 

Rich Bennett 6:17
what age did, where are you when you learned Mandarin? 

Irina Alexander  6:21
Uh, gosh. I started. So I was a trouble child and my mom 

Rich Bennett 6:29
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  6:29
kinda decided that she needs to put my energy somewhere else and keep me busy. So she sent me to school of foreign languages when I was under 10 for sure. I think. 

Rich Bennett 6:42
Wow. 

Irina Alexander  6:42
And so I started for languages there and that kept me busy. So she was trying to figure out what will make me busy. So I won't get in trouble which, you know, it worked. Uh, so that's, 

Rich Bennett 6:55
I'm afraid to ask this. How many different languages can you speak? 

Irina Alexander  7:00
No, I only speak three, but I, 

Rich Bennett 7:03
okay, 

Irina Alexander  7:03
a few more back when I was a kid. 

Rich Bennett 7:08
Mandarin would have to be hard to learn, I would think. 

Irina Alexander  7:11
It was my, one of the first foreign languages I learned. So it wasn't as hard, I would say. 

Rich Bennett 7:18
All right. So do me a favor, because I hear this all the time and I find it hard to believe, but I've heard a lot of people say that the English language is the hardest to learn. What was harder Mandarin or English? 

Irina Alexander  7:31
Uh, I do think Mandarin is harder. 

Rich Bennett 7:34
Okay. That's a lot of thought too. Because I can't look. I have a hard time just saying Mandarin. I mean, so. All right. So actually, God made, I didn't realize at 13 at university. That's a minute. All right. Well, let me answer this. So when you were going to university school or whatever, because I'm sure you went to several different schools, right. As well. 

Irina Alexander  8:01
Uh, what do you mean by that? 

Rich Bennett 8:03
Another, uh, so when you were younger. 

Irina Alexander  8:04
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 8:05
You have here in the States, you have elementary school, middle school, high school and college. So how many different schools did you go to and then going to school? What was it that you always wanted to do after school? 

Irina Alexander  8:17
Uh, so in Russia, where I grew up, it was one school with all the grades. So I 

Rich Bennett 8:24
to 

Irina Alexander  8:24
school from first to the 11th grade. So 

Rich Bennett 8:28
one 

Irina Alexander  8:29
it was 

Rich Bennett 8:29
school 

Irina Alexander  8:30
and, uh, the after school programs were school foreign languages and then some trips to China and all of that. So like I said, mom tried to keep me as busy as possible, you know, too smart for my own good. So she's like, okay, I need to keep you occupied. Uh, so she definitely invested in me and when I was growing up, uh, I wanted to dance. And my mom told me it's more important to be smart than to know how to move your body. So I became smart. 

Rich Bennett 9:06
Wow. 

Irina Alexander  9:07
Uh, so yes. And I always wanted to be a teacher. 

Rich Bennett 9:12
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  9:13
And once again, she didn't let me because she said teachers don't make money. So I got my, uh, masters in business. 

Rich Bennett 9:23
Oh my god. All right. Do you dance on the side? 

Irina Alexander  9:28
I do now. 

Rich Bennett 9:29
heart. 

Irina Alexander  9:29
This 

Rich Bennett 9:29
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  9:29
is my After the age of 30, when I went through the burnout, uh, I kind of had to look back and like, okay, what makes me happy? And I always love dancing. So I went to, uh, professional wall room dancing and all of that. And now I do it as a hobby, I go dancing several times a week. 

Rich Bennett 9:47
How many times a week? 

Irina Alexander  9:48
Several times a week. 

Rich Bennett 9:50
Oh, wow. All right. So actually, I want to get into the, into the entrepreneurship. What did you learn about yourself in the early years of entrepreneurship that still guides you today? 

Irina Alexander  10:05
Courage? 

Rich Bennett 10:07
Mm. 

Irina Alexander  10:09
And some people say it's the, I'm fearless, but I don't think I'm fearless. But I was like, what's the worst thing can happen? 

Rich Bennett 10:17
Yeah. Right. 

Irina Alexander  10:17
you know, I take risks, I take chances and I, because I don't want to regret of not trying it. Unfortunately, I'm a person of a trial and arrow, and I wish I could learn from other people, but I have to learn my own way by my own mistakes. And so I think I got a little bit smarter by writing all those mistakes, so it's not as crazy now as it used to be, but definitely I still, through everything I went through, I still take risks and I'm okay with it. I'm okay with uncertainty. 

Rich Bennett 10:55
Something very important you said there, which a lot of people, a lot of entrepreneurs don't do, you said you learned from your mistakes. And unfortunately a lot of people don't. So kudos to you on that. So you've actually built multiple businesses and entered male dominated industries. How did you overcome the internal and external resistant that actually comes with that territory? 

Irina Alexander  11:22
Good question. It's definitely was interesting. You walk into the room full of strangers in the male-dominated industry man that are my children and they look at you young, foreign, right? Woman. And when you introduce yourself they ask like what do you do? And the company was hidden in your conditioning business. And they look at you and you're like what do you do? And I was like well age back and I was like so what do you do there? Like you do marketing, are you a receptionist, answer to the fall, you know that assumptions? And I would smile and it would hurt me, right? Like who do you think you are? 

Rich Bennett 12:09
Well they're stereotyping. 

Irina Alexander  12:11
Sterotyping, absolutely. But here's the beautiful thing what I've learned from it. What made me different, made me unique and memorable. Because when somebody needs HVAC, right? Somebody needs AC. I mean in Texas we mostly need ACs on heating. 

Rich Bennett 12:29
Right. Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  12:33
There is hundreds of companies. But how many of them people will actually remember. But they will remember that strange Russian girl. That was at the networking events and business meeting and so on. So instead of trying to hide it, which I can't hide who I am, it's 

Rich Bennett 12:53
Right. 

Irina Alexander  12:53
very, very obvious. 

Rich Bennett 12:55
You don't want to. 

Irina Alexander  12:56
And I don't well, I didn't know that. 

Rich Bennett 12:59
Well, 

Irina Alexander  12:59
It 

Rich Bennett 12:59
okay. 

Irina Alexander  12:59
was like how do I blend in or how do I match and how do I become part of the circle so to speak. What I realized is what made me different, made me unique and made me memorable. So I just embraced who I am and said yes. But give me a chance because I do know what I'm doing. I mean I might not be able to fix your AC, but I'm the business owner who hires people and I have a great team who will take great care of you. 

Rich Bennett 13:28
How long were you doing that for? 

Irina Alexander  13:30
I've done it for I think in two years I reached the top and in three years I sold the business. 

Rich Bennett 13:38
What? 

Irina Alexander  13:39
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 13:41
Do you miss it at all? 

Irina Alexander  13:43
Yes and no. 

Rich Bennett 13:45
Okay. I know with HRAC because I talked to people in the HRAC industry all the time. And they talk about the struggles because they can't find technicians. 

Irina Alexander  13:57
Yes, that part is definitely the hardest I agree. Quality people actually know what they're doing. I mean we were hiring was definitely one of my number one problems. 

Rich Bennett 14:12
Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  14:13
Go into yeah in business. Absolutely agree. 

Rich Bennett 14:16
Before we get into the Academy of Motive Action, I love that. So you had the HRAC company. What other businesses did you have? 

Irina Alexander  14:25
So I used to have a woman's boutique store. 

Rich Bennett 14:30
Oh wow. 

Irina Alexander  14:32
Back in the days. I used to 

Rich Bennett 14:35
a 

Irina Alexander  14:35
have 

Rich Bennett 14:35
lot of them around here 

Irina Alexander  14:38
Yes. I own day. Well, it's still kind of operational. The Amazon store back in the days. This thing started in 2000. So like a little 

Rich Bennett 14:48
actually. 

Irina Alexander  14:48
bit in every niche 

Rich Bennett 14:50
life. 

Irina Alexander  14:50
in real 

Rich Bennett 14:50
Right. 

That you still do real estate as well. 

Irina Alexander  14:56
Yes, I just still have my license 

Rich Bennett 14:59
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  14:59
since 2000, so now we are 15 years of my... 

Rich Bennett 15:06
Have you read the book yet? 

Irina Alexander  15:07
I have not. A lot of people 

Rich Bennett 15:10
Two. 

Irina Alexander  15:10
ask me. 

Rich Bennett 15:11
Well, I mean think about it because, and now I'm not talking about like a memoir. But I would with everything that you've done that you have so much advice that you can offer people and tips. och so yeah, I think like right in guidebooks or something like that, or even. And you probably already do this. You go out and speak, 

Irina Alexander  15:31
you? 

Rich Bennett 15:31
don't 

Irina Alexander  15:32
I do. 

Rich Bennett 15:33
Okay. I figured the motivational speaking was in there somewhere as well. All right. I want to get into the Academy of Motivation. Explain to everybody what that is. 

Irina Alexander  15:44
All right. What started, I think, in pandemic years, 2020 I think it was established or, ehm, very different to what it is now. And what Academy of Motivation now is a neuroscience based training company for high stress professionals. First responders, we have several lots of business. First responders, uh, corporate. So teams, uh, CSU professionals, and then we also do executive, uh, training and entrepreneurs, one and one, uh, I do some mentorship with entrepreneurs, business owners as well, because this is my true passion is because I've been there. I've done that. I was like, if you can take my advice instead of trying to do your own way, and it's gonna cost you thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars, I would love to save you money and, uh, guide you through it. That's why I don't call it coaching is some mentorship because people come, whereas they are and I help them to solve their problems. 

Rich Bennett 16:48
Are you thinking about everybody is looking for a mentor but not everybody is looking for a coach or at least everybody should be looking 

Irina Alexander  16:55
mentor. 

Rich Bennett 16:56
for a 

Irina Alexander  16:56
Yes, I think that's because coaching industry, such a high industry right now, uh, that's why I call mentorship because I don't have a problem. I'm not gonna, you know, sell you 12 staffs 

Rich Bennett 17:07
whatever. 

Irina Alexander  17:07
or 

Rich Bennett 17:07
Right. 

Irina Alexander  17:08
Is in, you know, cookie cutter. I was like, no, everybody's different and different uh, pages of their business. And they might need different support. 

Rich Bennett 17:19
So why did you decide to start this? And before it, cause you, when you started it, it wasn't about neuro science, right? It was about something else. 

Irina Alexander  17:29
Right. Well, it was, but it was very different. So I went for burnout and that led me on the path of personal development and bros and trying to figure out why do even people get stressed and burnout and 

Rich Bennett 17:42
Right. 

Irina Alexander  17:42
what the going on, right? I'm such a strong person. How can it be challenged by my mental health? 

Rich Bennett 17:50
Mm-hmm. 

Irina Alexander  17:51
Because you me to meditate and I would look at you and roll my eyes and say, what is it like? 

Rich Bennett 17:57
A lot of people 

Irina Alexander  17:58
do. Exactly. So I was very cynical, very numbers driven and all of that. So I had to learn a hard way. And so I end up at the workshop, a, an OP neuro linguistic programming workshop. And I loved it. 

Rich Bennett 18:13
Right. 

Irina Alexander  18:13
Like everything I do once I love something, I went all in and I got, it holds the way to the trainer's level, just for myself. Not planning on doing anything. I just wanted to know as much as possible. 

Rich Bennett 18:25
Mm-hmm. 

Irina Alexander  18:25
So I got to a trainer's level in them for a year. I sold my company and for a year, I was traveling. And I was like, okay, where do people use and utilize it? Cause there's a lot of it in therapy and coaching. But I was like 

Rich Bennett 18:40
Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  18:40
okay, business owners, entrepreneurs saying needed so badly, but who is implemented in helping them to learn it and implement it in the business? And I learned that nobody was doing it. So one day I was sitting with a friend of mine at a country club. And I was like, you know what? I just was volunteering and helping people to run their business. And it just helps them to close almost 300,000 in business over the weekend. I was like, why do I do it for myself? You know, it's like enough for a year of going around United States and helping others. It's like, okay, why do I do it for myself? And he was like, why don't you? And we literally stood up, went to the manager of a country club, reserved the room. And that was my first training in a month. I think it's back then it was in September in the end of October. I think my, I had my first training. And it was simply, I back to my business community. And people looked at me as like, you changed, you look happy. What's wrong with you? I want 

Rich Bennett 19:41
What's 

Irina Alexander  19:41
that. 

Rich Bennett 19:41
wrong with you? God. 

Irina Alexander  19:44
And so that's how it started. I first started training business owners and entrepreneurs. And later on, as I evolved and learned more tools and techniques and overall, the company evolved into what we do now, which is first responders. Corporate and still of course, business owners because it just, they held a very special place in my heart. 

Rich Bennett 20:14
I want to back up a minute. What, with the burnout? What actually caused the burnout with you? 

Irina Alexander  20:21
Well, when I was running my business, 

Rich Bennett 20:23
mm-hmm. 

Irina Alexander  20:24
my husband was traveling about nine months out of the year. 

Rich Bennett 20:28
wow. 

Irina Alexander  20:28
i had two kids uh, I'm the age of three, two. I was breastfeeding one of them. I was working, it's a brand new business, so I was working 40 to 60 hours a day. 

Rich Bennett 20:42
and, 

Irina Alexander  20:43
so you just pile all of that. 

Rich Bennett 20:46
yeah it old you out real fast, 

Irina Alexander  20:49
and, you know, I'm strong, but I'm not that strong, 

Rich Bennett 20:55
yeah. 

Irina Alexander  20:55
unfortunately. and so there was just a lot. I put a lot on my shoulders and my nervous system just, you know, I was drinking too much, I was working too much. I hardly see my kids because of a babysitters, daycare, you name you know, and business communities, they knew me. like I was everybody knew my name, 

Rich Bennett 21:19
it. 

Irina Alexander  21:19
but it would 

Rich Bennett 21:19
yeah. 

Irina Alexander  21:20
cost. 

Rich Bennett 21:21
you were working your ass off, but you weren't living life. 

Irina Alexander  21:23
exactly. 

Rich Bennett 21:25
wow. that's mm. alright, so with the Academy of Motivation, what's one commonly misunderstood aspect of how our brains respond to stress or pressure? 

Irina Alexander  21:45
I'm misunderstood. 

knowing is not enough. 

Rich Bennett 21:56
okay. 

Irina Alexander  21:58
we think we're all smart, we think we all know it all. 

Rich Bennett 22:03
living 

Irina Alexander  22:04
the world right now, like back in the days, you know, we went to libraries and we consuming the information and knowledge because it was not accessible and knowledge would use to be power, but we live right now in the world where knowledge is everywhere. self-help books, podcasts, you name it, it's all out there, but we have more suicides than ever. 

Rich Bennett 22:29
oh my god, yes, we do. 

Irina Alexander  22:31
we have all of those problems. we have little kids with just we're diagnosed ADHD or whatever you name it people on drugs and self-medicating and all of them more than ever, if knowledge is really the power and the curve, then why are we getting worse and not better, even though we are knowing it all. so people think, well, I just need to know more or learn whatever it is, it's not enough. 

Rich Bennett 23:04
now you know and that's one of the things when you see this with the younger generation, they do think they know it all. you look at the workforce and I this is something I don't understand. you look at the workforce and people, young people will not hold a job because they swear up and then that the manager doesn't know what they're doing or the business owner doesn't know what they're doing. but yeah, they never that type of business, but they know it all. 

Irina Alexander  23:32
they know it all. 

Rich Bennett 23:33
it's i don't know what it was that triggered the people to think this way. i don't know if it's social media. i don't know if if it's the you know, did you, who knows? but you, well, you do it and you you can see how it's messing with the people's brains. almost like they got to be rewired again. 

Irina Alexander  23:55
in a way, yes, absolutely. 

Rich Bennett 23:57
yeah. 

Irina Alexander  23:57
i mean, i think everything you mentioned is true and yes, it all affects it. you know, the society, how people were raised, i mean, cultural overall. that was one of the hardest things is when i started running business here, you know, coming from a Soviet Union mentality and to work Essex and, you know, here we are, you know, i heard people's feelings when i say things very straightforward. 

Rich Bennett 24:27
but you have to. 

Irina Alexander  24:29
and it's just like everybody deserves a trophy. all of that mentality was like exactly. i roll my eyes and it's like, you know, suck it up by the club. 

Rich Bennett 24:38
thank you, oh god. i'm not going down that rabbit hole because we could talk for hours about that. i mean, i, yeah, i think you just, i think you hit the nail on the head. i think that's when everything started getting messed up when everybody got a trophy. you couldn't discipline people the way you could before. not just kids even even in the military you can't. and it's just. yeah it's gotten out of hand. all right. so i want to go into the cares approach. cares is an 

Irina Alexander  25:13
right? 

Rich Bennett 25:14
acronym, 

Irina Alexander  25:14
yes. 

Rich Bennett 25:15
what does cares stand for? 

Irina Alexander  25:18
see stands for communication, a stands for awareness, a stands for resilience, a stands for emotional literacy and a stands for self mastery. 

Rich Bennett 25:34
All right, so how does the CARES approach reframe traditional thinking around emotional resilience, especially for those in high stress roles like first responders? 

Irina Alexander  25:45
Well, big news. The resilience is byproduct. That's 

Rich Bennett 25:51
do. 

Irina Alexander  25:51
what we 

Rich Bennett 25:52
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  25:53
People, you know, go to resilience training, but what we believe is resilience comes as a byproduct when you master the rest of the things. 

Rich Bennett 26:02
Mm hmm. 

Irina Alexander  26:04
So it's, I know it's not very commercial. It's harder to advertise it that way because a lot of people say, oh, we're going to do resilience training. I was like, oh, can you really train resilience. What resilience comes as a byproduct of everything else you do and train for. 

Rich Bennett 26:22
Yeah, yeah, I guess you really can't, can you? 

Irina Alexander  26:25
You tell me. 

Rich Bennett 26:26
Yeah, I mean, 

you got me wondering now. 

Irina Alexander  26:32
Good. 

Rich Bennett 26:35
All right, so what are some practical steps people can actually take to shift from emotional reactivity to emotional regulation, especially during high state movements? 

Irina Alexander  26:48
Well, first step is awareness. You 

Rich Bennett 26:51
Hmm. 

Irina Alexander  26:51
have to acknowledge what's happening. You have to be aware. You don't know what you don't know. So you have to become aware, you know, hopefully it's you who becomes aware or not somebody's poking into you and telling you, hey, this is a problem because 

Rich Bennett 27:06
right. 

Irina Alexander  27:07
If you don't feel like it's a problem, know if somebody is, for example, a smoker and they don't think that it's a problem, but their family, friends, whatever, telling them a problem. They're never gonna change your quit smoking because they don't believe that is. So just awareness, but at the same time it needs to be self awareness and then honesty. You have to be become very honest with yourself. Not others, you don't have to be vulnerable and puke everything out and tell everybody 

Rich Bennett 27:38
I 

Irina Alexander  27:38
all the dramas is happening, but you have to become honest with yourself. And 

Rich Bennett 27:45
not just say it, you actually have to do it. 

Irina Alexander  27:48
Yes. So 

Rich Bennett 27:50
other people will say they're honest with themselves, but they're actually aren't 

Irina Alexander  27:54
exactly. So that's why self honesty, self awareness, self honesty. It all starts with them when you can look into your own eyes and say yes. If I can curse, I fucked up. Oh, 

Rich Bennett 28:09
yeah, no, you're fine. 

Irina Alexander  28:12
You know, things are not, I'm not the person I'm pretending to be, you know, this is not okay. I wish I hadn't done that. That could have been handled better. Whatever that is. Just 

Rich Bennett 28:23
You're fine. Right. 

Irina Alexander  28:23
be honest with yourself about yourself. That is the first step. 

Rich Bennett 28:29
Why do you feel that so many people aren't honest with them? 

Irina Alexander  28:34
Because we're afraid 

Rich Bennett 28:37
of what? 

Irina Alexander  28:38
Judgment, self-judgment, guilt, shame. 

Rich Bennett 28:44
Damn, you're good. 

Irina Alexander  28:47
Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 28:49
We know because it's, I mean, that's true. A lot of people are, they think about it. How many people don't even like themselves 

Irina Alexander  28:58
even 

Rich Bennett 28:59
or 

Irina Alexander  28:59
too many? 

Rich Bennett 29:00
Themselves, right, they don't even, well, you know, they don't respect themselves because they don't respect other people as well. Yeah, and I'm sorry if you're running a business or you own a business, you need to. 

Irina Alexander  29:13
Integrity. 

Rich Bennett 29:15
Yes. 

Irina Alexander  29:15
Staying integrity was yourself. 

Rich Bennett 29:17
Yeah, it's. 

Yeah, so do you go to these businesses or do they come to you? Like do you do workshops at businesses or anything? 

Irina Alexander  29:28
So the models that we work now are speaking. So 

Rich Bennett 29:33
speaking, 

Irina Alexander  29:33
public 

Rich Bennett 29:34
okay. 

Irina Alexander  29:34
And 

Rich Bennett 29:34
Right. 

Irina Alexander  29:34
that's how people connect with us and they ask to work. As of me personally mentorship, it's purely word-of-mouth. You won't find my information anywhere. It's literally passed from person to person because I want people who want it. I'm not here to sell somebody a program. You know, I'm here truly for you and people who work with me, they see this me for years and 

it's purely word-of-mouth because they know what I deliver and they share with the people like minded people who are gonna take action because even you said the Academy of Motivation. I don't believe in Motivation. Motivation is never enough. It's great. It's a great start. 

Rich Bennett 30:20
Yeah, 

Irina Alexander  30:21
but it's never enough. So that's why usually it's word-of-mouth and how we find clients is usually through the speaking engagements and workshops, but we don't post our own. We always get invited to do that. This is the current model of the business. 

Rich Bennett 30:39
You're listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. We'll be right back. 

Maryland Pickers is a local junk removal service and they also have dumpster rentals as well. I actually called Jeremy when we were doing our spring clean this year and he brought the dumpster out and quick to answer the phone, came out the day he said he was going to pick it up, answered all my questions, everything was fine, phenomenal, very professional to work with. So if you're looking for junk removal service if you're looking to rent a dumpster, contact Maryland Pickers, go to MarylandPickers.com or give them a call at 443-2061859, again it's 443-206-1859. Tell them that rich from Harvard County Livingston. I love to hear feel-good stories from my guest. So can you share really either one or a couple have or many went, feel-good stories of somebody that you've been able to help and you don't have to use their name or anything that's totally up to you. 

Irina Alexander  31:49
I had a beautiful client. When she came to me, she went through a hard time. She was working for one of the Fortune 500 companies, she got laid off and she bought a small business while she bought it in the food industry and she bought a business and then COVID hit. Well prior to that she got diagnosed with cancer. 

Rich Bennett 32:15
Oh my God. 

Irina Alexander  32:16
And then COVID hit. And we all know how bad it was for food industry during the COVID times. So and she is a huge face driven person, she's a huge believer, and she said I really prayed and I prayed, I think it was around January and we started working in February. Because she was like I needed to get rid of this business, like you know I can't handle it. All of it. 

Rich Bennett 32:43
Right. 

Irina Alexander  32:44
Too much it just survived cancer and then COVID hit. The story's not doing good. You know it's in the red. All of that. She was like I I want to heal her somebody buys it or like something needs to change and she prayed and prayed. Within a few months I was able to get her in black. 

Rich Bennett 33:03
A few months? 

Irina Alexander  33:04
In a few months. 

Rich Bennett 33:05
Yeah, two months. Wow. 

Irina Alexander  33:08
Then she was still working behind the counter sometimes, you know helping and serving people. She is no longer doing that. In the last year I think she travels almost every single month. And the last months we opened her second location. Chanel has 20 employees. Her profitability is you know if the industry standard about 10 to 15%. Her bottom line, her net is around 35%, 25 to 35%. 

Rich Bennett 33:43
Nice. 

Irina Alexander  33:45
You know she travels every single month. They bought two investment properties. My mom, her husband and now we're looking like do we want to franchise what we want to do next. So she is the one of my best success stories. And we became sort of journey I become friends with 

Rich Bennett 34:07
client. 

Irina Alexander  34:07
my 

Rich Bennett 34:07
Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  34:08
Because you know she's been with me for quite a few years. And it's just beautiful every time. You know she says thank you to me and I said no thank you because I'm guiding you. I'm mentoring you. To do an author work. 

Rich Bennett 34:21
She can't so free 

Irina Alexander  34:23
now she's cancer free 

Rich Bennett 34:24
Oh 

Irina Alexander  34:24
now. 

Rich Bennett 34:24
nice. Yeah, something you just said there too about how your clients become your friends. And I heard this a while ago, I don't want to see if you agree with it. Your clients will become friends, but your friends may not become your clients. 

Irina Alexander  34:39
Very true. 

Rich Bennett 34:40
Okay, I heard that. And I got the thing is like. Damn. That that's 100% true because all my. Oh my, I hate. Well, I don't say clients, all my sponsors, all my partners have become friends. But a lot of my friends have not become spots as our partners for my business. It's 

Irina Alexander  35:02
an interesting concept. 

Rich Bennett 35:03
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Something I mentioned in the intro. You have a mission to train one million people. What does success look like when you imagine the ripple effects of that kind of impact? And how far away are you from that one million now? 

Irina Alexander  35:22
That's a good 

Rich Bennett 35:23
two. 

Irina Alexander  35:24
I wish. I wish. So I have two kids. And as we talk, the curing society and humanity. And I truly believe that what I do is the big picture is I create better human beings. I teach people how to be kind and act with integrity and be respectful. You don't have to agree, but you can expect each other models the world and the other person. And so that's why I'm the mission because I want a better world for my kids. And if I can affect humans and create a ripple effect, that's what I truly want to do. So my kids would be kind, my kids would have a good future and promising future. So I honestly don't know how to measure it yet. The big mission, even though I do love systems and processes and all of my spreadsheets, just because how do you know? I don't know why I feel like sharing this, but my daughter got in trouble yesterday at the summer camp. 

Rich Bennett 36:40
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  36:40
And you won't believe what happened. So they wrote the camp and her friend got bullied by a girl who started ripping the book. You know 

Rich Bennett 36:51
what? 

Irina Alexander  36:52
And so my daughter decided defend the girl who's being bullied 

Rich Bennett 36:57
and good. 

Irina Alexander  36:59
And tackled the girl who was bullying. And guess what? I got a call and she got in trouble and they told me to come pick her up. And I was like she stood up for the person. 

Rich Bennett 37:15
She 

Irina Alexander  37:15
did help and 

Rich Bennett 37:18
there's nothing wrong with 

Irina Alexander  37:19
And 

Rich Bennett 37:19
that. 

Irina Alexander  37:20
that's what, like me and my husband, we were like, you know, do you want to get ice? I was like, I don't know if it's a good parenting or not, because kids don't come with the manual, but I was like, I am proud of you for stepping up and protecting the person in need, because I want you to do that. Maybe the violence wasn't the best thing. And yes, like, well, she should have gone to the counselor. And there's like, by that time, all the books would be ripped and the journal 

Rich Bennett 37:48
Right. 

Irina Alexander  37:48
is whatever it is. So she took action. She did the best she could in this situation. But the funny part is as I was picking her up, the counselor was like, she was hanging out with another girl and they were hugging and playing. And that is the girl she took down. And I was like, 

Rich Bennett 38:06
really? 

Irina Alexander  38:06
So I was like, what's going on? And so I talked to my daughter in the car. And she was like, he actually came and apologized and all of that. And I was like, you know what? Because now she respects you. And now she knows that she cannot mess with you, or your friends. 

Rich Bennett 38:22
Well, I think that counselor is your daughter and you guys in apology. But you know what? And you did the right thing there because this, this happened when my son was younger when he was in middle school or elementary school. I can't remember, but this guy kept bullying him. And we've always told him, stand up for your cell, well, tell the teacher kept telling the teacher's nothing that would happen. So he was sitting down at the lunch table and the kid came up and started messing with him and my son kept telling him to stop. He wanted to stop. So my son slammed his head into the table. And the guy did stop. I get the call. And I went to the school and I asked him for that. I said, well, my son kept calling to you guys telling you about this. You didn't do nothing and why not? They won't give you an answer. 

Irina Alexander  39:14
Yep. 

Rich Bennett 39:15
Well, what he did was wrong. No, what the bully did was wrong. If 

Irina Alexander  39:18
Exactly. 

Rich Bennett 39:18
people don't, people don't learn to stand up for themselves. Oh my god, this world is going to be in a total mess, it's going to be, it's going to be worse than it is now. That's good. Tell your daughter, I'm proud 

Irina Alexander  39:29
of her. Thank you. So I will about a world where people are kind and that's the reason I do what do. And that's what drives me. So I believe because change in the world, one human at a time. 

Rich Bennett 39:42
And here's the thing, even if you don't reach one million people, reaching one person, you're changing their life. And that's the important thing. If you can, if you can help one person, then you succeed it. 

Irina Alexander  39:57
Thank 

Rich Bennett 39:58
you. So yeah, that's very important. Okay, speaking of world, so in a world full of information overload, because we know that's a near surface level conversations, how do we create space for the kind of deep, transformative work you believe 

Irina Alexander  40:17
in? Not having the surface level conversation in the first place. 

Rich Bennett 40:25
Where were you 10 years ago when I started this show? 

Irina Alexander  40:30
What is it? I, when I moved to America, I was, 

don't know even what's the word I'm looking for. Extremely surprised, and I could not comprehend the fact of a small talks and the 

Rich Bennett 40:46
I 

Irina Alexander  40:47
thickness behind it. And I was like, wow, like, what is the, what is the purpose of it? 

Rich Bennett 40:54
Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  40:55
Uh, why not to be true and if you're really interested in somebody, talk to them, have that conversation. 

Rich Bennett 41:04
Mm-hmm. 

Irina Alexander  41:04
Versus just the small talks and very relevant and something, you know, talking behind the back. So whatever that is, uh, I do believe it's cultural, no offense. 

Rich Bennett 41:13
No, no. I agree with you. 

Irina Alexander  41:15
So, uh, I think I even part of my, uh, was on the podcast interview saying was one of the bottoms. Like I don't do surface level conversations. I do not want to waste my time because time is the most precious, uh, thing we have in our life. And this is 

Rich Bennett 41:31
Yes. 

Irina Alexander  41:32
a, curancy that we don't know how much we have. We don't know the balance of it. 

Rich Bennett 41:37
Exactly. 

Irina Alexander  41:38
And I want it to be meaningful. I want to make sure that I spend my time in a meaningful way. So if I do have a conversation, I want to have a real conversation. I want to know real you. 

Rich Bennett 41:49
Right. I love that. And the thing is today, the face-to-face conversations, let me rephrase that. Even though we're face-to-face because you're, you know, we're two different states apart. But the, when you can do the one on one in person conversations, it makes us so much better. 

Irina Alexander  42:10
Mm-hmm. 

Rich Bennett 42:10
And I think something that's a lot of people can even learn from podcasting because we can see each other. We're not texting each other. Get away from texting each other people. Call them on the phone whatever. Just, I, and I think that's a problem too. Too many people are just doing that. They're not, they don't want to look at each other. I don't know why. I don't understand that. It's just my bulk. 

Irina Alexander  42:39
All 

Rich Bennett 42:39
right. So if you could, and say, um, Hmm, how can I 

free? If you could change how organizations support mental health, especially for first responders and frontline professionals, what would that system look like? 

Irina Alexander  43:06
The system needs to be changed. 

Rich Bennett 43:08
All, 

Irina Alexander  43:09
yeah. That is the, uh, I wouldn't say a problem, but a challenge that we're facing is that the cute and the way it works right now, it doesn't. And while we work with frontliners a lot, The main feedback is it has to go up, it has to go to the leadership. My best friend in the business partnership says that shit rolls downhill. 

Rich Bennett 43:36
mm-hmm. 

Irina Alexander  43:38
So like you, it's great because we make an impact on the human beings and their families and all of that. But you can't change, uh, because they're the product of their 

Rich Bennett 43:54
Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  43:55
environment. So the environment needs to change. Uh, and that's why it has to go up to the leadership. So the full alignment of the whole system and not just little pieces. 

Rich Bennett 44:07
All right. So with you working with first responders a lot, I'm sure you're, you're a lot of them are coming into you with PTSD. Right. Are you, are you finding it a challenge for first responders that even come in and see you though, because and I asked is because like with the military, a lot of veterans will not talk to somebody about whether, you know, PTSD anxiety whatever they have. Sometimes they have no problems talking to another veteran about it, but sometimes they do. 

Irina Alexander  44:44
You nailed it. 

Rich Bennett 44:46
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  44:47
You nailed it. So we are not therapists. 

Rich Bennett 44:50
Right. 

Irina Alexander  44:51
And 

Rich Bennett 44:52
your life coaches. So I, well, no, I'm sorry, your mentors, your mentors. 

Irina Alexander  44:58
It depends trainers mentors. Uh, 

Rich Bennett 45:02
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  45:03
but here is what you really, like I said, nailed it is we are training people and giving them tools so they can help themselves so they don't have to go to the dark place. So we are creating a proactive approach, like I said, because when something happens, trauma, some incidents and all of that, sometimes they have to, they have to put a check mark and they do it just because they have to. 

Rich Bennett 45:33
Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  45:33
And the vulnerability it takes to open up a lot of them don't feel safe to open up and do that. So that's what we are teaching and training a, you know, once again, the same as in the HVB. And as we walk into the room, there's a lot of eight type personalities, heroes, they look at the young woman is like, what do you know? You're not even in our world, right? 

Rich Bennett 45:59
Right. 

Irina Alexander  46:00
I mean, just being honest. So yes, we do have skills to build rapport and have a conversation, but what we're giving them is real tools to help each other support each other and to support themselves. And that's, I think, what makes us very different is I want you to be fully capable. I want you to give you a power back. So when something happens, either you can have the courage to talk to somebody without feeling shame and guilt or guide yourself and help yourself. 

Rich Bennett 46:39
What are some of the tools you guys use? 

Irina Alexander  46:43
Oh gosh, there are so many from neuroscience perspective that it's all boils down to communication and honesty with yourself. Sounds might be so simple, but it's not easy, and it all boils down to communication. It's because how many times, if you're talking about heroes and people who are they trained, they train every single day to resolve the extremely hard situation to be vigilant to help their, the society to help every day people, but they're not trained to take care of themselves or each 

Rich Bennett 47:23
Yeah, exact. 

Irina Alexander  47:23
other. They know how to do it on the field, but when they're off the field, it's like they forget everything or when they go back home and bring all the trauma and all the bullshit back home. 

Rich Bennett 47:35
Yeah, 

Irina Alexander  47:36
take it off on their partners and kids. So that's what we teach and train them 

Rich Bennett 47:42
something you mentioned earlier, and I think it was before you went through the burnout. And you know, you mentioned about, you know, sometimes you tell people would tell people to meditate and you just laugh at them. Do you use meditation at all now? 

Irina Alexander  48:00
I do. 

Rich Bennett 48:00
Okay, 

Irina Alexander  48:01
I do now it took me years on 

Rich Bennett 48:03
it. Yeah, 

Irina Alexander  48:06
shut down my crazy constantly working 

Rich Bennett 48:09
to 

Irina Alexander  48:09
mind and that, you know, what I call it, eat BD Shidi comedies. It sits on your shoulder and just won't shut up. 

Rich Bennett 48:20
Oh, my God, okay. I love that. 

Irina Alexander  48:26
So it took me years, but I do now. 

Rich Bennett 48:29
Oh God, it's got to be cranking up here. All right, something with your business. And I noticed that I'm looking actually tell everybody your website. 

Irina Alexander  48:39
It's Motive Action Data Academy. 

Rich Bennett 48:42
I mean, I've been seeing it wrong. I'm gonna say a move to 

Irina Alexander  48:46
action. It's motivation. Motivation, 

and action one word. So it's Motive Action. Motive Action. 

Rich Bennett 48:53
Okay. All right. What is brain tap? 

Irina Alexander  48:56
Okay. Brain tap is how I started meditating. 

Rich Bennett 49:00
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  49:00
It's a device. 

Rich Bennett 49:02
Can't that segue? 

Irina Alexander  49:03
I know. Or something. So it's a headphones device. We also kind of like a glasses type. And it comes with a app that creates waves into your brain that helps you. It's kind of a tool that helps you to learn to meditate. I started there. And the beauty of it, they have a double induction voice, which means that it's several voices at the same time. Because technically speaking, if we're gonna get a little bit nerdy in science here, your brain only can comprehend about 120 bits of pieces of information per second. One person, to understand one person, it takes about 60 to 80. So when you have, you know, people who think they can multitask. 

Rich Bennett 50:01
Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  50:02
So when you have two voices that you're trying to focus on, you cannot focus on that external other voice that you have in your head. So that's why I love brain tap. And that's how I started meditating. Because it will help me to shut down my voice and focus on meditation. Now I can do a silence meditation or even anything external guided meditations or anything. But for a few years, I use brain tap several times a day. My kids love it. They even have daughters. It's pretty cool. And right now, I think they're expanding, there's like thousands of types of meditation on their app. So it's absolutely beautiful tool. And that was my to learn to meditate. 

Rich Bennett 50:54
What do you tell those people that say, oh, I can't meditate or I don't have time too, or I don't know how to. 

Irina Alexander  51:00
Yo, yeah, uh, so when I did my trainings, uh, I would bring a zero gravity chair and I would bring a brain tap. And they would say, I don't meditate and I was like, great. So do this. You know, check it out. And I would give it 20 minutes meditation to try them. And I had one guy who is like, I am a DHD, and I'm this like blah blah blah and I was like, great, great. And so 

Rich Bennett 51:27
Perfect 

Irina Alexander  51:27
we... 

Rich Bennett 51:27
candidate. 

Irina Alexander  51:28
Exactly. I mean, like, you're skeptical, yes, please, because I've been there. I've done that. And he literally started snoring. He was like, what was that? And it was him and his wife during the training together. And of course they bought a brain tap. So they were like so amazed. There's like, there's no way. Like, in the middle of the day, just being able to completely check out. 

Rich Bennett 51:56
All right. I have to ask this because you mentioned something, and I have no idea what you're talking about. 

Irina Alexander  52:01
Okay. 

Rich Bennett 52:01
What is what is a zero gravity chair? 

Irina Alexander  52:04
Oh, it's kind of like a little lounge recliner chair. It's a nothing fancy. I mean, you go on Amazon. It's they have like anywhere from 50, probably two couple hundred bucks. It's a chair that when you sit down and kind of balances your weight, so it lends back in a certain way. So you feel like you're floating, I guess. 

Rich Bennett 52:29
Is there a weight limit on this thing? Because I don't want to sit on it in all of a sudden. 

Irina Alexander  52:32
I mean, my husband 

Rich Bennett 52:34
Okay. 

Irina Alexander  52:34
is over 200 pounds and he is fine. So I think they're like three three 15 limits. So... 

Rich Bennett 52:40
Oh. 

Irina Alexander  52:40
You should be good. It's like literally doesn't look very different from regular like lounge chairs or the fold because it's foldable chair. 

Rich Bennett 52:50
Oh, okay. So now you're going to have me looking for one once we're finished here. Hey, if it helps. If it helps with meditation. I mean, I meditate now as it is, but just sometimes you just need that nice comfortable chair just. 

Irina Alexander  53:07
Yeah. And 

Rich Bennett 53:07
I like the idea that you said it's like floating. 

Irina Alexander  53:11
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 53:11
And I don't have a poor. I can float in. All right, what's it believe you held early on in your career that you've since outgrown and what replaced 

Irina Alexander  53:25
it? Believes. 

It might not sound like belief, but it was a belief is a fear of rejection. 

Rich Bennett 53:36
Mm, 

okay. What replaced 

Irina Alexander  53:42
that? Yeah. Everything is possible. 

Rich Bennett 53:47
That's true. 

Irina Alexander  53:48
It's... that was a deep one because it affects, because when you do something, you are afraid to be rejected. Right. 

Rich Bennett 53:57
Mm-hmm. 

Irina Alexander  53:58
Yeah, that's a taken risks or speaking whatever that is being afraid to judge. So that was a very deeply ingrained belief that I had. 

Rich Bennett 54:08
Well, and you see a lot of, well, sales people. 

Irina Alexander  54:11
Mm-hmm. 

Rich Bennett 54:12
Always had that fear of rejection. 

Irina Alexander  54:14
Absolutely. And we all sell to each other 24/7. Doesn't matter where you are. 

Rich Bennett 54:18
Yeah. And thank you for saying that. I've always said that everybody's a sales person somehow or another. They may not realize it, but somehow or another they are. All right, so for someone listening right now, who's successful on the outside, but actually feels emotionally disconnected or burned out, where do they start? 

Irina Alexander  54:39
Look at Amaro. 

Rich Bennett 54:43
Yes. 

Irina Alexander  54:44
Look at Amaro. Just pause, take time, look at Amaro and assess what's going on. Just really be honest with yourself, like nobody's watching. Nobody's listening just to you. And you get in contact with you and be honest. What is actually going on? 

Rich Bennett 55:06
Mm-hmm. And tell yourself. Look at Amaro. Just look at yourself and say I love you. 

Irina Alexander  55:11
I love it. Absolutely. I think that's a great point. Without judgment. 

Rich Bennett 55:17
Yeah. 

Irina Alexander  55:18
Assess what's happening from a bird eye view without judgment and then give yourself grace and love for doing that. 

Rich Bennett 55:26
I, I'm telling you, I've learned so much from talking to different people on this, where it's actually changed my morning routine. And I have no problem doing that now. You're looking in the mirror, saying that, but something else I learned because every morning when I wake up, I've always say something I'm grateful for. But I also, somebody taught me this, I guess I was talking to, but forgive something every day, too, whether you're forgiven someone or something that happened, just, you know, learn how to forgive and forgive that thing. And oh my god. Arena, I'm not lying. It just, it's like a ton of bricks being lifted. Their shoulders. And it feels so good. And I think a lot of people need to do that, especially in the business world. Entrepreneurs, business owners because you know they go through so much crap. One of the hardest things, and you can probably touch on this as a business owner or even a manager, one of the hardest things to do is to let people go. And it just creates so much more stress. And you feel like you're doing the wrong thing, you feel like you came for giving yourself or doing that. But sometimes, there's reasons it has to be done. You know I just, I mean, I'm sure you ran into that during your career, didn't you? 

Irina Alexander  56:51
No, absolutely. Oh, all the time. 

Rich Bennett 56:54
One of the hardest things to do. 

Irina Alexander  56:56
Yes because, you know, you're hurting people, 

Rich Bennett 57:00
Mm-hmm, 

Irina Alexander  57:00
right? 

Rich Bennett 57:01
yeah. 

Irina Alexander  57:02
And it is not fun. 

Rich Bennett 57:04
And 

Irina Alexander  57:05
it's people take it personal, but in reality, there is nothing personal about it. You just do best what you believe for your business. Because you want your business to not just survive but succeed. 

Rich Bennett 57:17
Yeah, I just, that's one of the things I always hate 

Irina Alexander  57:20
Beautiful. 

Rich Bennett 57:21
about that. 

Irina Alexander  57:21
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 57:22
He did doing that. All right. So before I get to my last question, which I have no idea what it's going to be, 

you're looking at me like, what? Is there anything you would like to add? 

Irina Alexander  57:37
I don't think so. I think it was a fantastic, very engaging in deep conversation, so I'll truly enjoy it. Thank you so much. 

Rich Bennett 57:46
All right. So I'm doing something different now. 

Irina Alexander  57:50
Uh-oh. 

Rich Bennett 57:51
There used to be, I would always, the last question I want to always ask people, you know, what's the next big thing for you and, uh, other things. But now I'm letting my guests pick the question sort of. So I have 50 random questions here. I have no idea what the questions are. 

Irina Alexander  58:10
Uh-oh. 

Rich Bennett 58:12
So, and a lot of people that I've had on somehow or another, the question they picked aligned with what we were talking about. So pick a number between one and 50, 

Irina Alexander  58:24
35. 

Rich Bennett 58:24
Why 35? That's not the question, but why 35? 

Irina Alexander  58:28
I don't know that just the first numbers that popped in my head. 

Rich Bennett 58:32
Okay. Uh-oh, see? And this, this, 

this, this aligns with what we were talking about. 

Irina Alexander  58:40
Beautiful. 

Rich Bennett 58:41
If you had to describe your life's purpose in one sentence, one sentence, what would 

Irina Alexander  58:49
it be? Ouch. That's a big 

Rich Bennett 58:55
one. Now, not one word, one sentence. 

Irina Alexander  58:58
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 58:59
Ouch. 

Irina Alexander  59:02
One sentence. 

Creating a better world. 

Rich Bennett 59:14
I don't understand why that was so hard. Once I read that, I thought that I thought right away you 

Irina Alexander  59:20
that 

Rich Bennett 59:20
were going to be saying something to change the world, make the world 

Irina Alexander  59:23
better. 

Rich Bennett 59:24
Uh-huh. And I think everybody should be doing that. 

Irina Alexander  59:28
all. 

Rich Bennett 59:29
I had to see that was not 

I should have, I should have found a harder question for you. I should have added 35 to 30, no, that would have been 70. That wouldn't have worked. Never mind. I mean, I want to thank you so much. It's been a true honor. And I wish you continued success. And, um, yeah, how old your daughter, the one that got in trouble? 

Irina Alexander  59:54
Eight. 

Rich Bennett 59:55
Eight years old. Okay. 

Irina Alexander  59:56
Turn in nine next week. 

Rich Bennett 59:58
Okay. Tell are she, they're not there around you right now, 

Irina Alexander  1:00:03
no. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:04
Okay. Does she believe in Santa Claus still? 

Irina Alexander  1:00:06
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:07
All right. You tell her that Santa Claus is proud of 

Irina Alexander  1:00:11
her. We'll do. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:13
All right. Thanks so much. 

Irina Alexander  1:00:15
Thank you. 

Rich Bennett 1:00:16
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and learned something from it as I did. If you'd like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you have a moment, I'd love it if you could leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media or visit our website at conversations with rich Bennett dot com for updates, giveaways and more. Until next time, take care, be kind and keep the conversations going. You know, it takes a to put a podcast together. And my sponsors help add a lot, but I also have some supporters that actually help me when it comes to the editing software, the hosting and so forth. There's a lot that goes into putting this together. So I want to thank them and if you can please please visit their websites, visit their businesses, support them however you can. So please visit the following. Real-life Real life prosthetics, cutting edge solutions, restoring ability since 2001. Go to reallifeprostetics.com. Full Full circle boards, nobody does charcuterie like full circle boards. Visit them at fullcircleboards.com. Sincerely, Sincerely, Sincerely, so your photography, live in the moment they'll capture it. Visit them at sincerlysoyour.com.