Conversations with Rich Bennett
Join Rich Bennett and his dynamic cohosts as they engage with individuals from diverse backgrounds—authors, entrepreneurs, activists, and everyday heroes—uncovering their unique stories and insights. Each episode offers a deep dive into personal journeys, community initiatives, and transformative experiences, providing listeners with inspiration and practical takeaways.
Tune in to discover stories that uplift, inform, and connect us all. Subscribe now to be part of these compelling conversations.
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Conversations with Rich Bennett
Kenneth Kunken’s Story Proves You Can Overcome Anything
Sponsored by Harford County Health Department
In this inspiring episode of Conversations with Rich Bennett, we sit down with Kenneth Kunken, a man whose journey redefines resilience and determination. After a tragic football injury left him paralyzed in 1970, Ken refused to let his circumstances define him. He became the first quadriplegic to graduate from Cornell University, earned multiple Ivy League degrees, and went on to have an impressive 40-year career as an Assistant District Attorney.
Ken shares how he transitioned from an aspiring engineer to a motivational speaker, disability advocate, and father of triplets—all while overcoming the odds. His memoir, I Dream of Things That Never Were: The Ken Kunken Story, details his incredible journey of breaking barriers and proving that a positive mindset and a strong support system can change everything.
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Rich & Wendy 0:00
Hey, everyone is Rich Bennett. Can you believe it? The show is turning ten this year. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who've tuned in, shared an episode, or even joined the conversation over the years. You're the reason that this podcast has grown into what it is today. Together, we shared laughs, tears and moments that truly matter. So I want to thank you for being part of this journey. Let's make the next ten years even better. Coming to you from the Freedom Federal Credit Union Studios. Harford County Living presents conversations with Rich Bennett.
Today, I'm going to get kind.
No, no, no. The truth is.
Rich Bennett 1:01
Today in conversations with Rich Bennett, we have an extraordinary guest whose story is a testament to resilience, courage and determination. Kenneth Conklin is the author of I Dream of Things That Never Were the King Kong Story. His life took a dramatic turn in 1970 when a football injury left him paralyzed, But that didn't stop him from becoming the first quadriplegic to graduate from Cornell University, earning multiple degrees and building an impressive 40 year career as an assistant district attorney. Ken's memoir takes us through his incredible journey of overcoming adversity and living a life of purpose and passion. I'm honored to have him here to share his story. But Ken, I got to ask you, first off, you're an impressive 40 year career as an assistant district attorney. How can that be when you look like you're only, like 40, you know, 40 or 50 max?
Kenneth Kunken 2:00
Hi. Thank you. I have a good makeup artist that keeps.
Rich Bennett 2:06
I need to borrow that make up for this. So with your book, I wanted to. I just want to dive right into this. you take us back to your before the injury? What what were your dreams and aspirations, especially as a young college athlete? And how did those shift after the accident?
Kenneth Kunken 2:28
Before I was injured, I had always dreamed of leading a useful, productive, rewarding and happy life. You know, while I enjoyed athletics, I knew that what I was going to do was do some type of work involving my math ability, because math was always the subject that I did the best thing. So I was studying engineering, although I wasn't sure that I really wanted to be an engineer, but I thought I'd do something that would make use of my math ability. I certainly didn't think I'd be doing a job where I'd be out talking with people all day long. I thought I'd be more behind the desk doing a lot of calculations on math, and this was well before laptop computers. So I thought I'd just be doing a lot of calculations and figuring out different statistics and probabilities for whatever type of field I went into.
Rich Bennett 3:26
Wow. So how did all that change after the accident?
Kenneth Kunken 3:31
How it changed quite a bit. One, even though I ended up graduating with a degree in engineering, it just really didn't seem like a viable field for me. Again, this was before laptop computers and it was really, really difficult for me to do whatever calculations would be necessary in whatever type of job I wanted to pursue. But I was really surprised after my injury that I was asked to talk in a lot of different events before, a lot of different groups, and even more surprised that I was able to do that and get a positive response from the audience. I was not used to getting up in front of a group and talking before a large number of people, you know, before my injury. I used to sit in the very back row of my lectures laying down. I hope the professor would never call on me. Never raise my hand and try and blend in with the crowd. And suddenly, after my injury, I found myself in the front row, in front of a lot of people having to talk and give what I was later asked to do. Motivational talks.
Rich Bennett 4:44
Why were you surprised?
Kenneth Kunken 4:46
Well, one, I never thought that I did very much to impress people. I thought again that I was going to just blend in with the crowd and that I was just trying to plug away and not stand there. You know, the last thing I wanted to do was to stand out. I didn't want to do that. And I was surprised that people were interested to hear what I had to say.
Rich Bennett 5:12
So with that, I guess still speaking, right?
Kenneth Kunken 5:18
Right. In fact, I have a talk scheduled for this weekend.
Rich Bennett 5:22
Oh. Are you doing the TED talks as well?
Kenneth Kunken 5:25
I haven't done a TEDx talk, but I've been asked to speak before a lot of groups and organizations to do motivational talks to try
Rich Bennett 5:33
Right.
Kenneth Kunken 5:33
and motivate and inspire individuals.
Rich Bennett 5:36
How was that? I mean, that had to be a big switch to I mean, because
like with this, I mean, I'm a deejay and everything, but when you're in front of people
talking, basically telling your story, that's got to be a big switch,
Kenneth Kunken 5:53
It really is. And one, it's very difficult just to talk about myself. I've never felt comfortable doing that,
Rich Bennett 6:02
right?
Kenneth Kunken 6:02
but I it's always surprised me that people are actually interested in here and what I have to say. So I'm still surprised that that.
Rich Bennett 6:11
So with did you actually go to Toastmasters or anything or your first event, you just got up there and started speaking.
Kenneth Kunken 6:19
Pretty much. I mean, I had taken a public speaking course in high school and another one in college, although the one in college,
you know, I guess it was very similar to what I did in high school, except the one in college was after my injury.
Rich Bennett 6:35
Right.
Kenneth Kunken 6:35
So it felt very different talking after my injury because I was not used to talking without notes in front of me. And since my injury, I usually don't use notes because it's difficult for me to write any notes.
Rich Bennett 6:49
Yeah. Are you speaking from the heart?
Kenneth Kunken 6:52
Right.
Rich Bennett 6:53
Which to me that's always the best speeches.
Kenneth Kunken 6:56
Well, so far it's worked out. I mean. But I always worry about the time I'll get up in front of a group and just have nothing to say and find myself just sitting there staring at the audience.
Rich Bennett 7:09
Hey, Ken, if it happens, no big deal, because guess what? It happens to comedians a lot. You know. So just yeah, if it if it does, it does not a big deal. If you don't mind, can you actually walk us through the accident and what happened?
Kenneth Kunken 7:27
Sure. Well, back in 1970, I was 20 years old at the time. I had just started my junior year at Cornell University, and I was playing on their lightweight football team. They had a special league, which back then was called the £150 Football. Now it's called Sprint Football, where I was playing two days before the game, you had to weigh in and everybody had to weigh less than 154 in order to be able to play in the game. So it was called lightweight football. And you had a lot of people that were used to playing ball, whether it'd be in high school or, you know, growing up. But they were always a little on the smaller side, although you got some people that weighed well over 170 that was losing weight just to play in this game. Now, they've since raised the weight limit to, I think, 172. But so you got to a league where most people were very fast. And, you know, it was not uncommon for a lineman to be able to catch your back from behind because everybody was relatively. And, you know, it was very competitive. It was considered a varsity sport. And I was playing on the lightweight team. And in a game against Columbia University, I made a tackle on a kickoff. And when I did, I broke my neck and I severely damaged my spinal cord.
Rich Bennett 8:56
Oh.
Kenneth Kunken 8:57
Yeah.
Rich Bennett 8:58
I guess it will. Back at 70, they didn't have all the equipment that they have now.
Kenneth Kunken 9:01
No, and not a lot of it was known then about spinal cord injuries. And as soon as I tackled the ball while carrier, I became instantly paralyzed.
Rich Bennett 9:14
Oh, my.
Kenneth Kunken 9:15
So I'm paralyzed basically from my shoulders down. A little bit of movement, my left arm, but nothing in my fingers, on my wrist and on the right side of my body. I could just shrug my shoulder a bit. So I need help doing virtually everything.
Rich Bennett 9:31
But you didn't give up.
Kenneth Kunken 9:33
Now, I spent the next nine months and 20 days in various hospitals and rehabilitation centers.
Rich Bennett 9:41
While.
Kenneth Kunken 9:42
And then I went back to college. I went back to Cornell.
Rich Bennett 9:46
Holy cow.
Nine months.
Kenneth Kunken 9:52
Nine months.
Rich Bennett 9:52
Over nine months.
Kenneth Kunken 9:53
Days.
Rich Bennett 9:54
She's so mad
with that. And I'm sure your family was close by, but your teammates, were they there supporting you as well during that time?
Kenneth Kunken 10:09
My teammates, my fraternity brothers, my friends growing up on Long Island. I had a lot of encouragement and support, but in particular love for my family.
Rich Bennett 10:21
Right.
Kenneth Kunken 10:21
I have a very close knit family. They've been very supportive and encouraging every step of the way, and they kept me encouraged and motivated to assure me that if need be, they act as my arms and legs to make sure I could do everything I wanted to do in life.
Rich Bennett 10:40
Yeah. So you had a very strong support system.
Kenneth Kunken 10:42
Very much so, and I still do, which
Rich Bennett 10:45
That's
Kenneth Kunken 10:45
I've
Rich Bennett 10:45
good.
Kenneth Kunken 10:45
been very fortunate.
Rich Bennett 10:47
Well, actually, Kito, you know, what lessons can other people learn about building a strong support system? Because if it does, whether it's injuries, whether it's somebody that's in addiction recovery, I mean, that that support system is big.
Kenneth Kunken 11:07
It's really important. I mean, for me, it's how we started with family. But even for those that don't have a strong family unit to have friends around or our neighbors to have community support, to know that if we work together, there's so much more we can do and that it helps everybody. I think it's so important for everybody to find time to help others in life.
Rich Bennett 11:32
Yes.
Kenneth Kunken 11:33
And when you help others, it makes you feel better about yourself. And I think maintaining the right attitude is so important for everybody that makes such a difference. One, it helps you get up in the morning and be able to live a good, prosperous and happy life. But it enables others more people that want to be around you when they see that you have a positive attitude. They're more likely to want to come and help you achieve and do what you need to do to survive.
Rich Bennett 12:06
The Law of Attraction.
Kenneth Kunken 12:07
Right.
Rich Bennett 12:08
I mean, it is powerful. In your book, you share moments of despair, but also incredible resilience. What mindset or beliefs helped you stay positive and push forward? Dawn Especially during the darkest days.
Kenneth Kunken 12:27
You know, again, I would go right back to my family. They kept encouraging me that there was still a lot I can do. And while physically, I was severely limited, fortunately, I still had my mind. And they kept encouraging me that I can do a lot with my mind and that I could still go out and help others by doing that. And it was through their support and encouragement that I knew they would help me achieve. And it got to the point where I felt I'd be letting them down if I didn't do everything I could to make the most of my life because they were working so hard to help me do that.
Rich Bennett 13:10
I have. Well, you're already doing it because of the speaking and everything. But I have a funny feeling that you are a leader of a lot of support systems as well. Am I right?
Kenneth Kunken 13:23
Well,
Rich Bennett 13:23
Oh.
Kenneth Kunken 13:23
thank you. You know, I, i one of the jobs that I had after my injury was I worked as a vocational rehabilitation counselor at Abilities Incorporated, which was part of what's called the Biscotti Center. And they were helping other individuals with severe disabilities when they've got a school for handicapped children, they have a training program and placement program for people with severe disabilities. And I've been very fortunate that first I had the opportunity to work there as a vocational rehabilitation counselor. And now for the last, oh, 26 years, I've been on their board of directors.
Rich Bennett 14:09
Oh, wow.
Kenneth Kunken 14:09
And I just tried the last 16 years that 26 year. I've been on the board of directors and I appreciate the opportunity that I have now to encourage others to help people with disabilities and to hire people with disabilities. I find everybody benefits from that.
Rich Bennett 14:29
Absolutely. Absolutely. And more and more businesses need to do it and people just need to be
more receptive. And I always found that you can learn so much from somebody. And I always think of my cousin because my cousin had Down's syndrome. I always think of her because she taught me so much. She didn't know it, but she did. And a very good friend of mine who is bedridden, he taught me so much because those days I would wake up, be miserable, say, you know, just think about me, What a rotten day. And I just think of Pat Paddy and be like women. He's in bed. He can't do anything yet. Here it is. You wouldn't even know it because he's playing fantasy baseball. He's taking astronomy online. I mean, just people don't realize how great they have it and how much they can learn, even from people with disabilities. And it just people have to be more receptive, I believe.
Kenneth Kunken 15:38
Absolutely. You know, and it's interesting that you say that. Let me just give you two examples from my life. I went back to school following my injury and I earned my bachelor's degree from Cornell in engineering. I earned a master's degree from Cornell in education. I earned a master's degree from Columbia University in psychology.
Rich Bennett 16:04
Wow.
Kenneth Kunken 16:04
I went to look for a job. This was back in the seventies and no one would hire me. Everyone felt that I was just too disabled to work. I was even turned down when I left to volunteer my service. And here I had three Ivy League degrees and two master's degrees. Finally, I found one organization willing to give me that opportunity, and that was Abilities Inc., which, as I say, is part of the Biscotti Center. And they gave me the opportunity to show what I could do. And once they did that, that helped me help others. Once I was given that opportunity and it helped give me the self-confidence to later leave that facility and go to law school and then go to work as a Nassau County assistant district attorney, where I worked for more than 40 years. And one of the things that I'd like to tell you is that in our office when you leave, you go through what's called an exit interview. And in the exit interview, you talk about what you like best about the job and what you think could be improved. And I'm very proud to say that on a number of occasions, people former assistant district attorneys have gone through the exit interview and said one of the best parts of their job was meeting, working with, and getting to know me. Now, I know they were not saying that about meeting and getting to know can Kim. I know what they were referring to is meeting, getting to know and working with somebody with a significant disability, because unless they had a close relative with a disability, most people don't come in contact on a day to day basis with somebody with a disability. And I found that they were very surprised to see that for the most part, we had, just like they are, we have the same needs, wants and desires. And that I think they were pleasantly surprised to find that I was not only a hard worker, but that working with me did not mean any additional work for them. know, I carried my own caseload and it didn't mean any additional work for them. And I think to a lot of people, that was a revelation. You know, working with somebody with a disability has a lot of benefits for everybody.
Rich Bennett 18:33
And I bet you I don't know if you know this or not, but I guarantee you were probably a great mentor to a lot of people as well as a teacher.
Kenneth Kunken 18:44
Thank you. I'm actually a member of the Susan B Daniel's Mentoring Hall of Fame.
Rich Bennett 18:50
Really?
Kenneth Kunken 18:51
And I did supervise over 100 interns while I worked at the office. I worked there for more than 40 years. And I am so proud and honored to say that tonight I'll be attending that district attorney's office annual holiday party. And at this party, for the second year in a row, they're going to be giving out the Kenneth James Beard Award, an award named in my honor to the outstanding assistant District attorney of the Year. And I'm so honored that they are doing that.
Rich Bennett 19:26
Well, now you're not retired. You're.
Kenneth Kunken 19:28
I actually I actually retired earlier this year from.
Rich Bennett 19:32
Really? You're
Kenneth Kunken 19:32
I
Rich Bennett 19:33
tired,
Kenneth Kunken 19:33
well, I had retired actually in 2016 from full time work, but then I continued to work there in a part time capacity
Rich Bennett 19:42
right?
Kenneth Kunken 19:43
for the last eight years. And this year I actually retired full time because.
Rich Bennett 19:48
Wow. All right. So when you went back to Cornell,
what was that like that first day when you went back there, You know, going into the university? And number one, what was it like for you? But what was the reaction of everybody else there as well?
Kenneth Kunken 20:11
Well, just to set the stage a bit, I had the added misfortune of being injured 20 years before the Americans with Disabilities Act took effect.
Rich Bennett 20:21
Oh, I even think about.
Kenneth Kunken 20:23
So when I went back to Cornell, it was very inaccessible, the campus. I Cornell is in upstate New York. It's on a very hilly terrain. It's got long, cold, snowy winters. And virtually every one of its buildings had steps in front of it. And was not one ramp or a curb cut on the entire campus. On my first day back at school, I had to be pulled up or bounce down close to 100 steps.
Rich Bennett 20:54
Oh, my.
Kenneth Kunken 20:55
My first day. And was it like for me? Well, in addition to worrying about going up and down all those steps.
Rich Bennett 21:03
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 21:04
I was constantly being stared at by everybody because they were just not used to seeing somebody in my condition on a college campus. So everywhere I went, it was like I was a novelty. And it made me very uncomfortable to constantly being stared at. And I know it wasn't out of malice. I mean, people were just curious and I know they really wanted to help when they could and.
Rich Bennett 21:34
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 21:35
But it was unusual for them. So. Everywhere I went, I was being stared at. And for me, I was still trying to adjust to my new condition, which made it doubly hard because, you know, I felt very out of place, even though it was a school I had attended to for a couple of years before my injury. You know, as I indicated before, my fraternity brothers, my football teammates, new friends that I made all really wanted to help. And with their help and the help of a personal care attendant that I that I hired, I was able to graduate.
Rich Bennett 22:15
And I even think about that with the American Disabilities Act. But with you going back there compared compared to today, and unfortunately, you still see some places that don't meet ADA rules or whatever. How do you how do you hope your story inspires others? And I guess I want to say in a way helps to advocate for like the ramps and everything for places that don't have it.
Kenneth Kunken 22:48
You know, that's interesting. When I think back of it, one of the places that had a lot of steps was the dorm that I lived in. My dorm had ten steps just to get in. And when I asked the school administration if they could at least put in a ramp at my dorm, their first reaction was, you know, if we would have put in a ramp there, we would have to remove two bushes. And we're concerned students might protest if we remove the bushes. Now, I know they weren't doing that again, to be insensitive or, you know, to make things more difficult for me. They just didn't really understand back then the needs of somebody with a disability. And as luck would have it, my second semester back, we had a fire drill. And when a fire drill happens, everybody must evacuate the building. And the next day, one of the Administré it is asked me how I managed, and I very honestly told them, you know, that I was able to get out by having my aide bounce me down the ten steps. I felt bad because I knew I slowed up the other students who were exiting.
Rich Bennett 23:59
Oh, God.
Kenneth Kunken 23:59
Wouldn't, you know, within two weeks they put in a ramp to the building and now.
Rich Bennett 24:05
Really?
Kenneth Kunken 24:06
Not one student protested removing the bushes. In fact, many preferred using the ramp to walking up and down the steps.
Rich Bennett 24:14
Uh huh.
Kenneth Kunken 24:15
So I think they found it really was a win win situation for everybody when they put in that round. And I think people find that more and more, whether it helps, you know, women with baby carriages or, you know, deliverymen, bring in, you know, supplies. I mean, nobody likes walking up and down the steps. And now where I live, my village installed curb cuts throughout the village before it was a necessity by the Americans with disabilities.
Rich Bennett 24:47
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 24:47
And it helps everybody to have those kind.
Rich Bennett 24:51
People realize how bad these things are needed and but the hell how they help you. So many different people. Of course I. I still get frustrated when I see some guy parked in a handicapped spot that doesn't need to be there. But that's a whole, whole nother story. So we're before the Americans with Disabilities Act came through, were you advocating for stuff as well?
Kenneth Kunken 25:21
You know, it was so new to me that I thought it was difficult to advocate just for myself, because when I was back in Cornell, it seemed like I was the only one that really needed these modifications. And I felt guilty that I was asking the school, you know, to put in a ramp or curb cuts just for me. So it was difficult. But once they did and found out how helpful it was to others, I became a little bolder as well. Later, I moved into New York City and I asked from the city if they would put in two curb cuts for me. And again, this was well before the Americans with Disabilities Act, and New York City did that for me. So I started to advocate for more people. And then when I moved to Rockville Centre on Long Island, I advocated that they put in curb cuts and they ended up installing more than 30 curb cuts throughout the village. Again, this was all before the Americans with Disabilities Act. So yeah, once I started working as a rehab counselor, I started advocating for others and I found that it helped again, not just people with disabilities, but family members, young mothers, senior citizens. It's helped so many individual.
Rich Bennett 26:46
Do you feel as if there's still some things missing that whether it be in businesses and parks or whatever, to help people with different abilities?
Kenneth Kunken 26:58
Absolutely.
Rich Bennett 26:58
Right.
Kenneth Kunken 26:59
And a lot of that has to do with changing people's attitudes. I mean, now when you see more and more people with disabilities out in public, people's attitudes are gradually adjusting. They say there's so much that people with disabilities can do, whether it be in the workforce or whether it being at home with their families, just helping others in serving the community. It's made a big, big difference to so many people. And it makes aging in this population easier to, you know, when you're working or dealing with senior citizens, it makes everybody feel more comfortable. To see a senior citizen can get around and still enjoy life and activities in the community. It's so beneficial to so many people.
Rich Bennett 27:48
You're listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. We'll be right back.
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This is something that I think a lot of people need to know. What do you feel is something that needs to be either installed, implemented or whatever? You know, for people with disabilities, somebody like myself, we don't even think about we take advantage. I mean, I know we have the ramps. The elevators. But there's still got to be other things out there that people really don't even think about that we need. need.
Kenneth Kunken 29:22
Well, you know, one of those things is certain people need help with their everyday activities. As for me, I used to have a personal care attendant that I needed help with, and yet some people lose the funding that they need for a personal care attendant if they go to work and earning over a certain amount of money. And you know, that's the disincentives of somebody with a disability going to work. So, you know, that type of law and regulation does need to be adjusted so that people with disabilities don't fear that they're going to lose, you know, their support, their aid, their Medicaid if they go to work. Right. And earn a certain amount of money. So that's part of it. Another part of it is, I believe very strongly in, you know, the policy of diversity, equity and inclusion. I and a lot of people criticize it for one reason or another. I think it's incredibly helpful not just to, you know, get a more diverse workforce, but it helps everybody. As I gave the example of people in my office who said it helped them to be working on a day to day basis with somebody with a disability. It opened their eyes in a lot of ways. I think it's helpful to everybody.
Rich Bennett 30:46
Yeah, I just I feel like. And
I know as a as a.
Got it. Went right out of my head. But I just knew there's a lot that were missing. And as those of you listening, so Ken and I can see each other and I think about I'm looking at the dresser behind you. So it's just little things that we can take advantage of. And you can't because. You can't reach that top shelf
Kenneth Kunken 31:22
Now.
Rich Bennett 31:22
to get pictures. And I also think of like, kitchens. Yeah. With cooking and everything. I mean,
there's so much and I guess or something like that. If you purchased a house, especially if you love the cook, well, you know, somebody.
Right. I would hope that there are funds out there to help for renovation of that. But I. You. There's not.
Kenneth Kunken 31:51
Right. Well, that's certainly not enough funding
Rich Bennett 31:54
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 31:54
for it. And, you know, there's an awful lot people can do to make their own facilities in the homes accessible as well as their offices more accessible. But public transportation as well, to
Rich Bennett 32:07
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 32:07
make that more accessible. I mean, it's great now to have more and more accessible buses and trains, but then making taxis more accessible. And I think that's a big benefit.
Rich Bennett 32:19
Oh, wow.
Kenneth Kunken 32:20
People as well. So there's an awful lot that can still be done. But, you know, in addition to the physical changes, attitudinal changes are so
Rich Bennett 32:31
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 32:32
important to encourage people to make not only their facilities more accessible, but people are more willing and likely to hire somebody with a disability.
Rich Bennett 32:44
Yeah. So I want to get back to the book with. Which means now you're going to have to write another book and just. Tell people, you know, what they need to do.
But but with your book, what's the. I guess one of the biggest things you're hoping that readers get away from or you know, take away from this.
Kenneth Kunken 33:04
Well, let me tell you a number of things about the book. Firstly, where I got the title of the book while I was still in the hospital.
Rich Bennett 33:10
Oh.
Kenneth Kunken 33:11
I had the opportunity to testify before a United States Senate health subcommittee chaired by Senator Edward Kennedy. And eight days after my testimony, Senator Kennedy sent me a glass paperweight in the mail that had an inscription on it that the senator said his late brother, Robert Kennedy, liked very much. And that inscription read, Some men see things as they are and say, why I dream of things that never were. And say, why not?
Rich Bennett 33:44
Oh.
Kenneth Kunken 33:45
That's where I got the title of my book. I dream of things that never were. They can come in, start. And it means a lot to me because when I was injured, most people felt that it was going to be very little that I could do. In fact, when I was in the rehab center, it's seen the best. The medical personnel thought that I would ever be able to do would be to someday sell magazine subscriptions over the telephone. And at that time, I couldn't even dial a telephone. They were.
Rich Bennett 34:16
Right.
Oh.
Kenneth Kunken 34:19
Phone. All right. So, you know, it really bothered me that there was such limited expectations for people. And I saw many of my roommates in the rehab facility did not seem to be doing much with their lives. And I think a good deal of that was because they were not encouraged to do more. You know, the doctors, nurses, therapists, the people they were dealing with did not seem to be encouraged. People back then that we're talking about in the seventies, that there was still a lot they could do. And I was fortunate. My family encouraged me that there was still more I can do. So when I say I dream of things that never were, I tried to do things that people hadn't done before, such as going back to Cornell and being the first quadriplegic to graduate there and then being the first quadriplegic to get a graduate degree there. I know what, I went to work at the district attorney's office. I was the first quadriplegic to work in our district attorney's and certainly the first quadriplegic to be a trial attorney in our county. And I think there's an awful lot people can do. And sometimes you need to break the barriers, you know, to go out and show people it's doable.
Rich Bennett 35:40
Wow. Yeah.
I don't know. Have you ever been told this? And don't get upset. But to me, I believe you're. You are a true inspiration to a lot of people.
Kenneth Kunken 35:57
Thank you. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.
Rich Bennett 36:01
And I think even though this book is your story, I do believe that everybody can learn something from it, which makes it even greater. And actually, with this, this is your only book so far, right? Like I said, so far.
Kenneth Kunken 36:20
Well, yeah, this is just my book. This is a story about my life. And it's not only in hardcover, but in a Kindle. I have an e-book version, but we just recently recorded an audiobook version of my.
Rich Bennett 36:34
Oh, come on.
Kenneth Kunken 36:35
And that that should be coming out within the next month.
Rich Bennett 36:39
Is it your voice?
Kenneth Kunken 36:40
Yeah, It's my voice.
Rich Bennett 36:41
Yes.
Kenneth Kunken 36:42
NARRATOR.
Rich Bennett 36:43
Good.
Kenneth Kunken 36:44
So that's coming out as well. But.
Rich Bennett 36:46
How exciting was that?
Kenneth Kunken 36:48
It was real exciting. But you know what? I don't think your audience knows what I. What I'm most excited about. And most proud of is what I've done with my personal life and not just my professional life. So if I could just share that with.
Rich Bennett 37:07
Absolutely.
Kenneth Kunken 37:09
I got married in 2003. I married my incredible wife on her arm in 2003 when I was already in my fifties. And, you know, as you might expect, dating when you're a quadriplegic and trying to impress a woman when you're almost totally paralyzed poses its own unique set of challenges. So dating, as said, finding a woman that you can fall in love with share your life with is so very special. And I've been very fortunate that I found the perfect woman for me. My name is on it. She's sitting by, right? Just off camera and.
Rich Bennett 37:56
I. You do the bunny ears.
Kenneth Kunken 37:59
And. It's really, really changed my life in so many ways. But to tell you the biggest way. When we first talked about getting married, Honest, said that she wanted to have my baby. Not just our baby. My baby. This was when I had been paralyzed for more than 30 years, and I was already in my fifties. But, you know, we looked into various options and saw that through in-vitro fertilization, it still may be possible for someone, even in my condition, to father a child.
Rich Bennett 38:37
Oh, wow.
Kenneth Kunken 38:38
So we pursued in vitro and through the miracle of science. And I became pregnant
Rich Bennett 38:46
Oh, no,
Kenneth Kunken 38:47
and.
Rich Bennett 38:47
really?
Kenneth Kunken 38:48
January 24th,
2005. Just about 20 years ago, I was present in the delivery room when my wife, Ronna, gave birth to triplets. We have three incredible sons, Joseph, James and Timothy, who are about to start their second semester of their sophomore year in college.
Rich Bennett 39:15
At Cornell.
Kenneth Kunken 39:16
One's at Cornell.
Rich Bennett 39:18
Oh.
Kenneth Kunken 39:18
Wines at Syracuse and wines at the State University of New York at Morrisville. So they're in three separate schools in upstate New York studying three different majors, all doing phenomenally well. And it's just the best part of my life, without a doubt.
Rich Bennett 39:36
Triplets.
Kenneth Kunken 39:37
Triplets. Triplet boys.
Rich Bennett 39:39
That's amazing.
Then how. Sure. How how were they with you growing up? I mean, because
and again, a lot of people don't think about this, but, you know, you can't play catch with them.
Kenneth Kunken 39:56
No. Yeah. So they've been absolutely incredible. You know, growing up, they're used to being around somebody with a disability. And, you know, they watch out for many. They would go someplace and come back and say, Dad, you can go there. We checked. They have a ramp. They would.
Rich Bennett 40:16
Oh.
Kenneth Kunken 40:17
Things like, you know, let me just give you an example of something that happened when my boys were about eight years old. I went with one of them into town. You know, we walked there. You know, I was in my electric wheelchair and he walked with me to a local stop and shop store. And while we were there, unfortunately, I got very, very dizzy. I have some issues with blood pressure problems,
Rich Bennett 40:45
Okay.
Kenneth Kunken 40:45
and my blood pressure is not regulated that well. And I got married, dizzy, and we're in a crowded restaurant. And here my eight year old son knew that I had pills in my pocket to help raise my blood pressure. He gave me a pill, and then I lifted up my legs and I held them up in his hands. They helped my blood pressure go up a bit. And this is in a crowded store and people are gathered around. And my son was perfectly calm, knew exactly what to do and help me help keep me calm, knowing that I was in good hands with my eight year old son and got me through a difficult time. And that's what my children are like. They used to helping their father and showing the proper respect to people that had disabilities and try to help whoever they can, whenever they can. And all three of my boys now, they were all second degree black belts in the martial arts taekwondo, and they were instructors there as well. When they're not in school and people look up to them for for guidance and support because there's such good, caring individuals.
Rich Bennett 42:01
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 42:01
Who have grown up with the self-confidence to know they can do whatever they set their minds to.
Rich Bennett 42:08
You and Anna must be very, very proud of them.
Kenneth Kunken 42:11
Very, very proud. You bet we are. And we're so excited they celebrate their 20th birthday in a couple of weeks.
Rich Bennett 42:21
Wow. And triplets.
Kenneth Kunken 42:24
Yeah.
Rich Bennett 42:25
Wow. They're dead. You know what? That right there. Those of you listening, I. If you complain because you got a headache or your back aches, be for real. Come on, now. Here's Ken, a quadriplegic. Him and his wife raised triplets.
Kenneth Kunken 42:45
I
Rich Bennett 42:46
Triplets. I mean, wow. Holy cow. That that's just, you know, do you're going to have to write a book.
Kenneth Kunken 42:56
Right? Yeah.
Rich Bennett 43:00
What? What it's like growing up with Ken, the best father in the world.
Kenneth Kunken 43:06
Thank you.
Rich Bennett 43:06
They. There you go. So with the marketing of the book, which actually the book came out, what was it, 23?
Kenneth Kunken 43:13
Yeah, I came out in October of 23 and we were really fortunate because when we wrote this book and, you know, my wife helped me and we wrote it together. We were told that you need to get a literary agent to get it published.
Rich Bennett 43:28
Huh?
Kenneth Kunken 43:28
We had trouble getting a literary agent. You know, we looked and we even went to a writing conference and had trouble getting an agent. But we wrote up a book proposal, and I have a good friend named Russell Canning who had written a book and got it published, and he asked if he could show my book proposal to his publisher, and which he did. His publisher was 12 Tables Press. The owner is approached by the name of Stephen. Eric and my friend showed my book proposal with Steve Eric and he liked it and agreed to publish it without an agent and 12 Tables Press published my book. It's gotten some really nice comments from people that have read it and we've been so pleased at the reception our book has gotten. So as they say, it's now out not only in hardcover but in the Kindle version, and the audiobook version should come out another month. And we've been so pleased with the reception we've gotten on the book.
Rich Bennett 44:34
I cannot wait for the audiobook version. I will definitely be getting that in a heartbeat as soon as it comes out. It just is. Especially since you're doing it, you're narrating it yourself. I mean, that just to me makes it so much better.
Kenneth Kunken 44:51
In fact, you know, when we were narrating it, the person who did the recording is my son, Timothy. We actually
Rich Bennett 44:57
Ellie.
Kenneth Kunken 44:57
set up in our home in a big closet to make it into like a little recording studio. And my son, Timothy, who's studying journalism at Syracuse, he did the recording.
Rich Bennett 45:09
Oh, wow.
Kenneth Kunken 45:10
You know, we hired a company now to edit it, and it's almost ready to come out.
Rich Bennett 45:15
What's with the book? What's been the biggest struggle as far as marketing goes,
Kenneth Kunken 45:23
Well, you know, again, you know, my name is relatively unknown.
Rich Bennett 45:28
right?
Kenneth Kunken 45:28
You know, usually when you think of a memoir, you think of somebody that's relatively famous writing a book about their life here rather than, you know, people locally. Most people don't know my name. So trying to tell people that I have an interest in the story, most people don't want to read an autobiography of somebody they never heard of.
Rich Bennett 45:54
Right?
Kenneth Kunken 45:54
So, you know, now dealing with social media and going on podcasts. I'm hoping that that will help spread the word of my story, because just to tell you a little bit more, when I was injured more than 50 years ago,
Rich Bennett 46:10
Mm hmm.
Kenneth Kunken 46:11
I didn't have any or many role models that I could look to for inspiration or support to say, you know, somebody with a severe disability can still go out in the world and achieve a lot of things. I you know, there may have been people out there, but I just wasn't aware of them.
Rich Bennett 46:29
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 46:29
And because things were so inaccessible wheelchair wise, I usually don't see people in wheelchairs out in public. So, you know, it was difficult to find a role model that I could look to and say, you know what, this can be done because it's done before. So now I'm hoping to get my story out that will hopefully encourage more people to do some of the things that I've been able to do and I've been very pleased to get comments that my story has helped motivate and inspire others to do more with their lives, and I feel great about that.
Rich Bennett 47:08
See, now you're a role model.
Kenneth Kunken 47:10
Well, I try to be, and I appreciate that.
Rich Bennett 47:14
In the reviews. You have great reviews. So those of you listening when you go and purchase the book and actually if you go to Ken Conklin Dot com that's Q and Katie and Dotcom you can purchase it there and make sure you after you read it, leave a full review at Amazon. Good. Wherever you can leave reviews and then purchase another copy for somebody else and so forth and so forth and so forth because I think a book like this, even though it's it's your story, I think it can also be almost like a self-help book. People can always go back and pick it up and read something again that's going to help them, you know, And it basically just put them right on that track of thinking positive again, you know what I mean?
I personally think that.
What is? Well, now I'll ask you that last. So in all honesty, are you actually thinking about writing another book?
Kenneth Kunken 48:25
Now. Now, you know, what I'm thinking about is trying to be the best husband and father I can possibly be and help my boys now navigate their college experience, you know, and help them decide exactly what they want and help them go out and get it. But I'm hoping in marketing the book that I have out there now, that it'll encourage more people to go out and do more with their lives. And and that's my goal.
Rich Bennett 48:58
It's a crazy question and it might yell at me for this one. But have. And not just you. But. But both of you, you and Anna, have you thought about or even consider possibly starting your own podcast?
Kenneth Kunken 49:13
What do you think? I did shake it. I had no.
Rich Bennett 49:18
Because I think it'd be very inspirational for people.
Kenneth Kunken 49:22
You know what? I'm hoping Maybe my son, Timothy, who's studying journalism, maybe someday he'll do that. And I have a nephew, Jacob, that we're actually going to go out and drive to Montana. He's getting married
Rich Bennett 49:34
Oh,
Kenneth Kunken 49:34
at the end of May. Jacob used to have his own podcast. His name is Jacob Kotkin, and he used to do podcasts for a while. So I guess it's in the family. It would be nice to keep it in the family
Rich Bennett 49:47
yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 49:47
and we'll be maybe guests on it and spectators, but.
Rich Bennett 49:53
I just think you have a lot to offer to people. I
Kenneth Kunken 49:55
Thank
Rich Bennett 49:55
mean.
Kenneth Kunken 49:56
you.
Rich Bennett 49:56
It could be it could be something short, you know, like five or ten minute episodes. You know, true inspirations with can conquer something like that can conquer, can conquered. I keep saying coke will because there is a conquered auto parts here.
Kenneth Kunken 50:11
Now.
Rich Bennett 50:13
So. Before I get to my last question, is there anything you would like to add? Anna, No more bunny ears.
Kenneth Kunken 50:21
What do you think of.
Rich Bennett 50:23
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 50:24
You know, I I've been really fortunate. You know, we've talked about some of my accomplishments. And I have to say, again, there is nothing that I would have been able to do without a lot of help, support and encouragement from the family and friends that I've had. And now, you know, when you see so many other people with disabilities, many of them are veterans, you know, from from wars who have come back with disabilities. And it's so important for people to not only welcome them, but honor them, help them in any way that they can, and support people with disabilities. I mean, people with disabilities have worked so hard to try and make something with their lives, and it's so important not to make it more difficult for them, but to be accepting and recognize all they have to offer. And everybody benefits. Everybody benefits by it. And that includes not just in the workplace, but as a family, as a husband, as a father. I can say
it, there's no greater pleasure than being involved with your children in your family, in community activities. And B, accepted by everybody else around you as an equal member and contribute to society.
Rich Bennett 51:55
Yeah.
People you have to get.
I.
I'm just sitting here thinking, and I know there are a lot of family members and friends that would really love this. So yeah, you're going to see book sales go up here very soon. Those of you listening again, make sure you get it. It's Oh my God, you're going to love it. I dream of things that never were. The King Kong King story. And then actually, even after you read it, get back to me. Let me know what you thought, of course, and leave a full review. But yeah, this is and if you want the audio version, you can get the audio book as well now. So, Ken, what is the next big thing for you? Besides going to your son's graduations.
Kenneth Kunken 52:56
Well, that is going to be a big thing. But, you know, we're all going to be traveling, driving out to Montana in May for, you know, my nephew's wedding for a honeymoon. My wife, Ana, and I drove across country and back for our honeymoon to get this.
Rich Bennett 53:12
Wow.
Kenneth Kunken 53:12
Great country and we're looking forward to just being active parents and our parents in our children's lives and watching them, you know, grow to be the terrific people that they are and to help so many other people in their lives. And just spending this time with our boys, our children, and enjoying the fact that, you know, they are making a difference now.
Rich Bennett 53:44
Yeah.
Kenneth Kunken 53:45
People's lives. Just bring us so much pleasure. And the fact that, you know, staying involved in the Moscow city centre, as I am to help those others with disabilities achieve their goals, it's bringing us a great deal of pleasure.
Rich Bennett 54:01
Ken. I want to thank you so much. It's it's been a true honor. And God. God bless you. Best of luck to all of you and telling you I think you should really consider starting a podcast. I'm just saying.
As I sit there shaking her head no is.
Kenneth Kunken 54:23
I.
Rich Bennett 54:25
Take care. Thanks a lot.
Kenneth Kunken 54:27
Thank you.
Rich Bennett 54:27
All.
Kenneth Kunken 54:28
And thank you for letting me tell my story and having me as a guest on your show.
Rich Bennett 54:33
My pleasure.
Rich Bennett 54:35
Thank you for listening to the conversations with Rich Bennett. I hope you enjoy today's episode and learn something from it as I did. If you'd like to hear more conversations like this, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you have a moment, I'd love if you could leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and share more incredible stories. Don't forget to connect with us on social media or visit our website at conversations with Rich Bennett. Com for updates, giveaways and more. Until next time, take care. Be kind and keep the conversations going.
