Daryl Dittmer on Sobriety, Storytelling, and Second Chances

In this engaging episode of "Conversations with Rich Bennett," sponsored by Tar Heel Construction Group, Rich sits down with Daryl Dittmer, an author celebrated for his transformative storytelling. Dittmer opens up about his debut book, "When I Stop Fighting: The Unexpected Joy of Getting my Head Out of My Ass," offering listeners a raw and honest glimpse into his journey of sobriety, personal growth, and self-discovery. From humble beginnings to the trials of addiction, Dittmer shares how he navigated his path to a sober life, highlighting the pivotal moments and lessons learned along the way. Rich and Dittmer discuss the importance of embracing life's challenges, the power of staying teachable, and the impact of mentorship on recovery. Through stories of perseverance, the episode delivers profound insights into overcoming personal battles and finding joy in the unexpected turns of life. Sponsored by Tar Heel Construction Group, this conversation is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the endless possibilities that await when we choose to fight for a better tomorrow.

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Transcript

Rich Bennett 0:00
Thanks for joining the conversation where we explore the stories and experiences that shape our world. I'm your host, Rich Bennett, and today I am thrilled to welcome Darryl Dittmar, an author celebrated for his candid and transformative storytelling. Darrell's debut work, When I Stop Fighting the Unexpected Joy of Getting my head out of my Ass, invites readers on a compelling journey of self-discovery and personal growth. His writing not only captivates, but also offers profound insights into the power of embracing life's challenges. And we're going to hear about some of the challenges. So join us as Darryl shares his experiences and profound impact his book has had on its readers. How's it going, Darryl? 

Daryl Dittmer 0:45
It's going great. Thank you, Rich. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. 

Rich Bennett 0:48
Oh, my pleasure. But I've got to kick things off by talking about your book's title because it's an eye catcher. What's the story behind it and what does it mean for you personally? 

Daryl Dittmer 1:00
Well, 

I knew the title of my book, but I wasn't sure of the subtitle. The title comes with the story as well, but with the subtitle it was difficult to nail. And my wife and I actually went through several iterations in terms of thinking about it. And and one day we were on an RV trip and it just sort of came to us, I think, you know, maybe both at the same time, because we wanted it to be eye catching. We wanted it to be, you know, something that people gravitated toward or looked twice at. But but also, you know, we didn't want to be offensive to people that might be a little more sensitive. So. Right. But but then that's probably the least of my worries If I'm writing a book about addiction and, you know, all of these exciting, exciting happenings. So for me, it was very real. For me, getting my head out of my ass was something that I needed to do. And and once that came out of our mouths and minds, it, it just stuck. 

Rich Bennett 2:03
I love the title. I do. And it just it grabs you exactly. It to me, it sounds like. I mean, it's about your journey, not just with addiction, but you've also owned businesses and all as well, right? 

Daryl Dittmer 2:20
Yes. Yes. 

Rich Bennett 2:21
So does it cover that as well? 

Daryl Dittmer 2:24
It does. It's you know, it talks about it talks about coming from a place where, you know, my my dad was a mechanic. My mom took care of us kids. And so coming from a place where, you know, it was in I wouldn't say that was fairly humble beginnings, you know, so. So there's a lot of shit to do, right? When you're when you're you get sober. Like the beginning is getting sober. And then then you got to get your head out of your ass. You know, it's so and that's a lifelong process. I mean, I'm probably still working on it to a large extent, you know? 

Rich Bennett 3:02
All right. So I got to ask you, how how long have you been sober now? 

Daryl Dittmer 3:07
Just hit 39 years. 

Rich Bennett 3:09
Really? That is awesome. Are you going to run for 39 hours? 

Daryl Dittmer 3:18
Well, I don't think I can do 39 pushups anymore. I probably can't even do ten. But. But my body's taken a little bit of a beating. But. Yeah, running 39 hours. No. 

Rich Bennett 3:30
The reason I say that we had a gentleman on who actually ran across the Sahara Desert and every year he for that celebrate his sobriety. He'll run for that many hours. And this year. Yeah. And he does. I believe in the mountains of North Carolina this year he ran for 32 hours. 

Daryl Dittmer 3:51
Wow. Yeah. And I mean, as much as I'd love to, my body is not doing that anymore. 

Rich Bennett 3:59
I'll watch you run, but. 

Daryl Dittmer 4:02
I'll be the guy. We're pretty close to the North Carolina border, so maybe I saw him running by one day. I don't know. 

Rich Bennett 4:08
What. I wouldn't be surprised. I would not be surprised. So you actually touch on the theme of fighting through threads, your narrative. Can you dive a bit deeper into what that fight was against and what led you to eventually lay down your arms? 

Daryl Dittmer 4:24
Sure. 

You know, the fight for me was or has always been with myself, you know, that's the greatest fight. So. So, you know, we start with with however we grow up, for me, going into addiction and, you know, having that progressed to the point where, you know, treatment became the option. 

You know, the first fight is setting down the you know, the drugs and the booze and, you know, just sort of stopping that and making that that go away. But. But we alluded to it a little bit earlier that that after that, that's really when the work starts. So there's a chapter in my book where I talk about the ass kicking machine in. The ass kicking machine is basically me beating the hell out of myself for not being where I think I should be in life or, you know, thinking things that they tell me I'm not supposed to be thinking or doing things or feeling things and pushing those things away. Like. Like that's, you know, for me, that's the real fight. That's where, you know, and it gets it gets more and more subtle over time. But but the more and I watch myself do this, 

I'll just tell a little story of where that came from, the the the fighting part. But when I was newly sober, it was probably nine months or maybe a year. I had a sponsor and his name was Bud. And, you know, he's a huge reason why I got my head out of my ass, truly. Right. And I was I was wrestling with some problem or fighting some problem, you know, just having grown up that way too, just fight things. And he said, Darrell, when you stop fighting, the fighting stops. And that's the reason for the the title of my book, not necessarily the subtitle, but the title. So so it's really fighting myself. That's that's been the most difficult fight of my life. 

Rich Bennett 6:30
Wow. That and you still talk with Bud? 

Daryl Dittmer 6:35
No. Bud passed away in 2016. 

Rich Bennett 6:38
Oh, sorry to hear that, man. Can you. So 

every journey has we talked about this little bit before we started recording, but every journey has its watershed moments. Your brigades, Kleenex and everything. Can you share one from your book that you think really resonates with your readers? 

Daryl Dittmer 7:01
Yeah, 

there's a there's a few. It's it's it's, you know, the moments for me that that changed my life. There was 

there's a there's a way for me to be in in life and in sobriety. And in terms of of how I behave and how I act and and keep myself from fighting myself and keep myself from fighting the world and fighting problems and all that sort of thing. That's the easiest thing in the world for me to do. But 

and being teachable, that's that's probably the most important thing for me. And in early on, 

I heard an old timer and at that time he was about 40 years sober. And this is this is one of the chapters in my book, or it's referred to one of the chapters in my book. But he was about 40 years sober. And I'm you know, I'm months sober. And I mean, he's he's an older gentleman. He's definitely in his seventies, I wouldn't say quite eighties, but he's in his seventies. And and and we looked at him like he was a deity. You know, it's all of my young friends and sobriety. And we're 19, 20 years old and we're just punks and we're clowns. And, you know, we want to stay sober, at least some of us want to stay sober and right. And we go to this Friday night community center meeting, and Jimmy's there and he's there every time we see him. Every time. And and you can just imagine this, you know, kind of an old guy and a little hunched over and he gets up in the middle of every single meeting and he grabs the coffee pot and he's filling people's coffee 

cups with coffee. And he's the only guy that ever did that. And one of the things and it was such a powerful moment for me and my sobriety and my life from a humility perspective and and and, you know, teach ability perspective, just seeing something like that. 

Rich Bennett 9:05
Right. 

Daryl Dittmer 9:07
Because the way we used to look at sobriety in the way I used to look at sobriety was, you know, whoever's got the most time wins. And that's not necessarily true, you know, because sometimes, you know, people don't learn those lessons. But but Jimmy used to say, and this is the part that really hit me and stuck with me, you know, almost every day for the last almost 40 years. He used to say the way to stay sober is to stay small. 

Rich Bennett 9:36
The way to stay sober is to stay small. 

Daryl Dittmer 9:39
Small, stay humble, you know, service, do things for other people. Don't worry so much about yourself, but teachable and that really started Wow Rak of for me 

understanding how to be sober and how to conduct myself in sobriety so that I'm getting the most out of it. 

Rich Bennett 10:02
Wow. I like that. And that. And I maybe that is something that's missing where a lot of people aren't staying small. Maybe that's why, you know, a lot of people do relapse. You think? 

Daryl Dittmer 10:18
I think that's I think that's possible. I really do. I think, you know, I see it on social media and this goes into a whole different conversation. But since we're here, you know, you see a lot of people that that want to teach before they've been students, you know. Yeah. And I'm a big proponent of be a student first. 

And that wasn't as much of a thing. You know, back in 1985, January of 85 is when I got sober. And, you know, you came in to a program like an AA or, you know, and basically it was it was, listen, you know, here's what you need to do. You need to shut up and listen. That was that was kind of how it went. But, you know, I see people all over the place on social media, etc., etc., just, you know, okay, I've been sober for a month. Here's what everybody else needs to do. And that is to me, that's the definition of not staying small and relatively reachable. 

Rich Bennett 11:21
Well, I know that everybody's different as well. You know, it's some things work for some people where as it may not work for others under. 

Daryl Dittmer 11:32
But I think. 

Rich Bennett 11:33
One of the things that always amazed me when I started learning more and. 

Daryl Dittmer 11:39
More. 

Rich Bennett 11:41
About the sobriety and recovery circle, I should say family, because it's like a tight knit family. Everybody is helping each other. I never heard of. I didn't have any idea what a peer recovery specialist was. And the first time I met peer recovery specialists and they told their stories, I was blown away. I didn't realize that they themselves were in recovery and it makes sense. Who else can help somebody that's in recovery better than somebody that's in recovery that's living that experience, you know? 

Yeah, it just blew me away. 

Daryl Dittmer 12:25
That was like that was the founding of of AA, I think in 35. But that was the founding, you know, Bill W and Dr. Bob, and they helped each other stay sober and, and you know, and, and the program sprang from that. You know, there was I know there were other things involved, but but that was the that was what they did. They helped each other. They supported each other. And and. 

Rich Bennett 12:50
Truly. 

Daryl Dittmer 12:50
That's how I try to try to help people is through, you know, the stories, the stories of because I feel like people can relate when you tell a story, if I'm if I'm telling somebody, do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that. I don't think they care as much as if you're telling a story and they say, oh, wow, that, you know, that's kind of like what happened to me. Or that's, you know, I can really, really relate. 

Rich Bennett 13:17
Yeah. 

Daryl Dittmer 13:17
Right. So I think that's incredibly important. 

Rich Bennett 13:21
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because and now they're also meeting somebody else has been through it, you know, and talking about so if they see that you can do it, 

then hopefully they'll figured that they can do it. Is actually went with your addiction. What was your main addiction? Was it alcohol? 

Daryl Dittmer 13:43
Anything I could afford at any given time? Wow. I mean, it was you know, it went from from, you know, just some drinking to smoking weed to hallucinogens to coke to, you know, whatever I could get my hands on. And and and, you know, I was a kid. I was I had just turned 19 when I went into treatment. So I was. Wow. Not like I had money. You know, it's not like I could afford much. So I was, you know, lying, cheating, stealing, whatever I could do to to get a couple of bucks and support, you know, me doing what I was trying to do every day. 

Rich Bennett 14:24
How old were you when you started? 

Daryl Dittmer 14:26
13. Oh. 

Rich Bennett 14:29
Wow. So if you don't if you can't share that story, that what brought that on at 13 years old? 

Daryl Dittmer 14:37
You know, it wasn't it was it was probably a story very similar to many people's stories. You know, it was my buddy and I were were at a little it was actually a church function. I grew up Yeah. I grew up in, you know, as a Lutheran. That was kind of how I was raised there. And 

we were at a little church function and we were drinking, I think it was rum and coke, and it was the first time that I'd had anything outside of, you know, my parents, my dad giving me a sip of beer or something. But and I drank some of that. And it was the most euphoric feeling I'd had to that point in my life. Wow. And, you know, probably other than going to the dentist and having a surgery in my mouth and then given me some happy drugs, and that was maybe the first one before that, that was the happiest moment of my life. 

Rich Bennett 15:32
And so it. 

Daryl Dittmer 15:33
Was just something that that hit me in such a way. It was it was it was literally euphoric. It was that's that's what I wanted to do after that. That was it was really that powerful right at the beginning. 

Rich Bennett 15:50
Holy cow. 13. And then you you became your sobriety, you said started in 19. Or is that when you went into treatment for the first time or. No, I was at the first and only. 

Daryl Dittmer 16:05
First and only. Yeah. January of 1985. Yeah, that that was when I went to treatment and, and that was the only time I went to treatment and you know that, that what I got out of, I didn't plan on staying sober. I bought up, I bought a bunch of weed right before I went in and Wow. Okay, let's, let's get this over with and, and go from there. But I ended up I ended up selling it when I got out, recouping the expenditure because I needed, you know, money was hard to come by. But the only frame of reference I had of anybody going to treatment was one of my buddies went into a longer term treatment program and before I went in, he came out and within 10 minutes he was out partying with us, you know, So I'm sitting in this buddy's house watching MTV Classic classics and doing our drugs, ignored me. 

Rich Bennett 17:03
Have flashback. 

Daryl Dittmer 17:06
Right? MTV Classic. 

Rich Bennett 17:08
What I as an MTV, used to play music, Right. 

Daryl Dittmer 17:12
Right, right, exactly. Yeah, exactly. I remember the, you know, Bob Marley and the Wailers, the classic classics. 

Rich Bennett 17:18
That was Oh, God. I still remember when it first launched. I remember watching Video Killed the Radio Star that, Oh, yeah, there with that with MTV last. It was a big I forget what month but is what 1981 right. 

Daryl Dittmer 17:35
Yeah some. 

Rich Bennett 17:36
Yeah yeah. And then whatever happened to them. Yeah. She's so, so were you when you went into treatment, were you working at the time. 

Daryl Dittmer 17:47
Oh yeah. Okay. Actually at that time I was, I had a job at a gas station. I was behind the counter, and now that's another story from my book. But just, you know, I was I was in kind of a little crappy part of town and, you know, just the thugs and the punks and everybody would just come filing through and I'd be it was an all night, all, you know, 24 hour place to work there at night. And, you know, I'd get high with the customers and and it was just that was, you know, I didn't really have gainful employment. That's right. Working at the gas station. That's all I was doing. 

Rich Bennett 18:34
All right. So when you go into treatment and you start your journey of sobriety as far as your career path goes, how did that change? 

Daryl Dittmer 18:48
Well, when I was 

in high school, I had a I did pretty well in basketball. I was one of those guys who liked I love sports. But then I went down the you know, the other path, too. So, you know, the Jackson, the stoners, I was kind of riding the edge. I was more of a stoner, but I played basketball. And so I got a letter from actually university Wisconsin Stout, which I think is D2, and they wanted me to play for them. And I was told by this woman in high school, she said, Oh, I just got a letter from these guys and I kind of looked and I was like, Oh, whatever, You know, I just wasn't interested. So I don't come from a college educated family. So college was something where it was sort of out there somewhere. It wasn't necessarily a realistic thing. So 

I had to make a long story short, I decided after I got out of treatment that I wanted to go to college. I didn't get in touch with the University of Wisconsin, but I did get in touch with a local Division three school around me 

about 50 miles away from where I grew up. And so I ended up going there, you know, severe academic probation, all kinds of great stuff. I think the basketball coach helped get me in. But so from a career perspective, 

I got a criminal justice degree because that's all I knew at that point. My wow. Yeah, well, I didn't know anything about business or marketing or sales or nothing. So my frame of reference was my dad was a mechanic, my brother was a cop. My grandfather on my mom's side was a cop. My grandfather on my father's side was a firefighter. So. So I thought, okay, criminal justice, I can I can get my head around that. But that's not the path I chose. I got out of right. And I, I did. I did framing for a while. I did carpentry. 

Rich Bennett 20:52
Carpentry. But eventually. Did you also become a business owner? 

Daryl Dittmer 20:57
I did. 

Rich Bennett 20:59
How'd that happen? 

Daryl Dittmer 21:01
I don't know. It's. It's so when I was doing carpentry, a buddy of mine, actually a sober friend of mine, got asked me if I wanted to get involved in sales, and I said, no, absolutely not. Not doing it. No, thanks. No, nothing about that off. It just doesn't sound that fun. I'm not a I'm not a public facing guy, but that's not how I portrayed it back then. But it was just basically no. So anyway, he gave me this videotape and it was for a network marketing company, and and I didn't know anything about it. I just like he was like, Oh, the people are making tons of money. So took me a few weeks to watch the video. I watched it and I was like, Holy crap, people are actually making this kind of money without, you know, pounding nails and lifting walls and and, you know, doing all this crazy stuff. So so I got involved in it and I started it. And then, you know, it went okay for probably a year. And then another buddy of mine said, Oh, hey, you know, we got the sales thing we're doing. You want to go to Boston with us? And I was like, Sure, why not? So I took off and went to Boston and and that was a that was we were doing smoking cessation stress management and weight control for corporations and. 

Rich Bennett 22:21
A mouth full. 

Daryl Dittmer 22:23
Municipalities, etc., etc.. So, you know, we the joke was, well, people in Boston are too stressed to do anything about their stress. And no offense to anybody but Boston, 

you know, that was just kind of the thing. So everybody went back to the Detroit area. I decided to stay and because it was just a new adventure for me, I was I was excited about it. So I did some carpentry too, you know, and I did some 

estimation for a commercial window company, you know, just a bunch of things just to keep myself going. And then I met a guy at the gym who owned a commercial insurance brokerage and risk management firm, and I asked him for a job. And after much deliberation, he he gave me a job. But he but I had a job at $30,000 on a draw, which meant if I didn't make the money in sales to make that money back, I owed him $30,000. So anyway, I took that and I became long story short, I became the second largest shareholder in the company. And that company, through a couple different iterations, went from, you know, seven employees to I think now there's like 3000. 

Rich Bennett 23:46
Whoa. 

Wow. Nice. 

Daryl Dittmer 23:51
Yeah, that was that was part of it. And then I got sick of that and the whole insurance business. And I did that for 20 some years. And and then my wife and I bought a restaurant down on Cape Cod, and I've owned, you know, a few other interests in other businesses and that sort of thing. So. 

Rich Bennett 24:14
Well, I mean, how how can that be? That can't be because, you know, somebody that had an addiction can't do all that. I somebody that didn't basically get that degree in college can't do that. 

What do you say to those people that see stuff like that? 

Daryl Dittmer 24:36
Well, 

you know, I don't want to say it. It's I want everybody to do well. I yeah, You know, I just do I think there's enough money in this world for everybody. I think there's enough opportunity in this world for everybody. I think, you know, it it it bums me out when people talk like that because. Because I didn't I didn't I didn't have any skills. I didn't have any abilities. I didn't you know, I wasn't a sales guy. I was I was you know, I was a farm boy. I was a carpenter, but I just kept going. So what I what I say to people is you got to reach you know, you have to do things that you're not comfortable doing. Yes. I mean, honestly, I'm this whole podcasting and social media and all that sort of stuff. It's it's not my it's not my thing. But but, you know, I have to put myself out there if I want to if I want to get the message out and I want to honestly get books in people's hands and and I'm doing it because I want to help people. You know, I want people to read it. I want people to get something out of it. I want people to be able to relate to it. So so whatever you can't do right now or think you can't do is a lie. It's just not true. 

Rich Bennett 25:57
Get your head out of your ass. You can do it exactly right. 

Daryl Dittmer 26:02
And it doesn't even have to come all the way out. You know, you can do incrementally. You know, there are things you can do incrementally. You move yourself forward. You know, I didn't I didn't start being a good sales guy. I sucked, you know, and I got my ass handed to me a thousand times in business and in life and in everything. So it really is a matter of, okay, what am I going to stretch for next? And that's what that's what to me, that's what helped me move forward and that's what helps other people move forward. You got to stretch. 

Rich Bennett 26:39
Oh, yeah, absolutely. And 

the saying is true. Sometimes you got to fail to succeed. Yeah. And and you learn from them. Learn from them. And now here you are. I love this term. Now you're an author. Preneur. 

Daryl Dittmer 27:00
Yeah, I guess I am. I don't know if I've been called that to this point in my life, but here I am. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 27:07
Well, it's something I tell all because unfortunately, there are a lot of authors that, you know, they'll write a book and it could be an awesome book, but they, they, they don't think about making money from it. It's like, why not? And you have a great message, you know, to get past on to people. So this book I actually with your book now I want your view on is who do you think your book is for besides yourself Of course I mean what reader do you think the type of readers you would get? 

Daryl Dittmer 27:46
I think my reader could be a couple of different folks. It could be young people who are confused, who are stagnated, who just aren't moving forward, whether it's there's a lot of addictions, there's a lot of things in this world, too, to be addicted to or to be, you know, I'll just say emotionally maybe harmed from or mentally harm from it. It could be it could be too much social media, it could be drugs, it could be alcohol, it could be, you know, gambling. It could be a number of things. So so, you know, I think it's for people who want to change, but they don't know how. And they're younger and they they want to be able to relate to someone who did change. 

Like I said earlier, I don't know if my head's all the way out of my ass, but it's it's moved in the right direction for a few years. And then I also think there's people like me, you know, my age ish, you know, maybe midlife, maybe there again. You know, age doesn't necessarily mean we're not confused or we're not struggling or we're not sure what to do next. And I think, you know, it's difficult. I've my my both my wife and I have had to figure out, okay, you know, we're going to get out of this business and we're going to move into this business and we don't have a clue or we're going to move out of this business or we're going to move from Massachusetts down to Georgia, because that's what we feel like doing right now. You know, so then some people don't want to do that. They don't want to take that risk or that leap. And I think this book is just to, you know, for those people who may have some trepidation, but they want to and they just need that little push. And I think it's in their. 

Rich Bennett 29:36
And this was released in September, right? 

Daryl Dittmer 29:40
It was it was kind of a it's sort of a six week relaunch cycle. So November 7th was the day of the relaunch. 

Rich Bennett 29:49
Okay. 

Daryl Dittmer 29:50
23. 

And so that's that's kind of the date that it made it out to the public, I guess. 

Rich Bennett 29:59
Now, are you self-published or did you go through a publisher 

self-published? 

Daryl Dittmer 30:04
I got some help from from a company that that is, I thought, really good at helping because I didn't have a clue. And I think more than most authors don't write the book was written, and I just needed to get it on Amazon or wherever else. So they help with the cover, they help with the editing, they help with the formatting, all that sort of stuff. They made it a much easier process than it would have been have had I had to hunt all those things down. 

Rich Bennett 30:32
Oh yeah, yeah. Now, now, now the hard part comes, which is just the marketing. Yeah, right. Thank God you're doing something that I tell all authors to do, and you're going on several different podcasts talking about it, which is, you know, that, that and it's social media seems to help out a lot. 

Daryl Dittmer 30:54
I think. So. I you know, I spend some time on Twitter. I'm I try not or I've not been a big social media guy. But it's interesting. It's interesting the communities that are out there on social media. Yeah. Of like minded humans and and it's a pretty cool thing. I mean, you know, I do some Twitter spaces and talk about sobriety and talk about, you know, life. And I, I at this point I equate life and sobriety as the same thing because if you don't have sobriety, you don't have life. 

And, you know, I actually I have someone helping me with the marketing now. So, you know, doing little ads and things like that and. 

Rich Bennett 31:40
Oh, good. 

Daryl Dittmer 31:41
Yeah. So it's I'm trying to do is as, you know, well-rounded of an approach as I can. And we've sold a lot of books but you know, a lot to me is like a few hundred. You know, if I want to, I want to get out there and help people. I want it to be tens of thousands or more, you know, just to to get the message out. 

Rich Bennett 32:05
Now you're going through pod match, which I think is something awesome that Alex put together. But I'm also going to tell you another place to check out. It's called New Books Network dot com. Sorry, Alex. It's not like pod management. It's called new books Network dot com. It's a gentleman named Marshall Pod. It runs it. There are several several different podcasts on that Check out check them out and look for your genre and what you do is listen that podcast and pitched a host of their podcast sort of like you do, you know, with me with Through Pod Match Pitcher who's on that podcast and hopefully they'll get you on as well. There's I forget, I mean there's like millions of downloads from all the podcasts on there. But yeah, it's called new. It's for all types of authors and it's called new books Network dot com. Definitely check that out. Now, have you gone to any libraries or anything, any book signings or even just going out, presenting your book, reading from it or whatever, anything like that yet? 

Daryl Dittmer 33:21
I have not done that yet. And thank you for that website and that lead by the. Oh yeah, my pleasure. 

Rich Bennett 33:27
I will. 

Daryl Dittmer 33:27
I will hunt that down with all the fervor at my disposal. But I'm in one bookstore on Cape Cod because we did a little trip there and I brought a book in and said, Hey, you guys want to put my book on the shelf? So we did that. But other than that, no, I haven't done any book signings or libraries or book readings or or anything like that. I'm I'm planning on doing a little podcast myself. You know, I used to do those kinds of things. So and with the help of my marketing person, I think we would be able to get that word out hopefully pretty well. 

Rich Bennett 34:06
I think also, too, which maybe look into some treatment centers, ask them, Yeah, come there and talk and present your book without a doubt, because you're seeing those books more and more. You're here. Well, we talked about earlier, a lot more people are coming out talking about it. And the more that, you know, you get your book out there, the more you tell your story, you're just helping more and more people, you know, which is a big plus. You got to do that now 100%. What are you working on the second book yet? 

Daryl Dittmer 34:42
I am. 

Rich Bennett 34:43
Get out of here. Come on. Really? 

Daryl Dittmer 34:45
Yeah. It's actually written. It was. 

Rich Bennett 34:49
Day. 

Daryl Dittmer 34:49
So 

I'm a little bit of a maniac. 

So when I when I decided in earnest to write the first book, which was February ish 2023, by, I'm going to say July 2023, I had two books written down. 

And so the yeah, the second one's written, I'm I'm in the process of it's edited, so that part's done. I've got to get it formatted and finish up the cover. But probably third quarter of this year we'll put it out. 

Rich Bennett 35:31
Okay. Are you retired? 

Daryl Dittmer 35:34
Mostly. 

Rich Bennett 35:35
Okay. I was going to say, when are you finding the time to write that fast? 

Daryl Dittmer 35:41
Well. 

Rich Bennett 35:42
I am not even a year's time. 

Daryl Dittmer 35:45
Sometimes I come up into the office here, you know, with my robe on at 4:00 in the morning, and I'll just bang away at the keys for, you know, four or five or 6 hours and just let it all flow. And whatever ends up on the paper ends up on the paper, and then I figure it out after that. So 

I have a propensity to dive into things with with intestinal fortitude and I guess that's not what they would call it back in the addicted days. But but that's what it's called today. It's it's I try to jump on things and take advantage of them. 

Rich Bennett 36:24
Like I say, you're an author preneur. It has become a fulltime job and I love that. The fact that you just get up and you start writing and I'm sure when you when you're going to town, you probably lose all track of time. 

Daryl Dittmer 36:40
Oh, I do, right? Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 36:42
Because like you said, the flow's going and it's I love that. I wish I could get my hands. I got to get my head out of my ass and do that. 

Daryl Dittmer 36:53
But I think the, the cool part to me is, you know, once it starts flowing, I remember shit that I haven't thought about in 30 years or 40 years or 50 years. You know, it's it's amazing what comes up. You know, people have asked me or comment, you know, what's the most what's the best part of writing? And the best part of writing is is unearthing all the stuff that you thought might have been gone or that you hadn't thought about. And it just comes bubbling up. And and to me, that's the way to write. Just sit and go and write up until you're worn out. 

Rich Bennett 37:36
So I have to ask you this question. I love it when 

authors give tips. So any aspiring author out there, or even if they never even thought about writing because one of the things I know when it comes to, you know, like anxiety or depression, they tell you to journal I think in recovery, a lot of them are starting to do that as well. 

But if some let's say somebody in that's in recovery and they're journaling 

and then they decide they want to write a book, what bit of advice would you give them? 

Daryl Dittmer 38:20
My probably the biggest piece of advice I would give them is because when I know I'll do a little cliffhanger, there when I when I eight years ago, I said to my wife, remind me to write a book someday. And I didn't write one until 2023. So, you know, I fiddled around, I'd write a paragraph or a half a page or whatever, and it didn't get me anywhere. So so the best advice I could give to somebody who's thinking about it, or, you know, they enjoy writing and they just want to do it is you just got to sit down and devote time and do it. If you don't do that, the book will never get written and write and and you'll never have that flood, in my opinion, of the memories and all the things that bubble up. Because you're writing, because those things don't bubble up until you tell the first story and then the second story comes up and then like, Oh crap, there's the third story, you know, so, so it doesn't bubble up until, you know, you get something on paper. 

Rich Bennett 39:22
So with this being your first book, when you've finished it, you can answer yourself Who is the first one to read your book? Was it your wife? 

Daryl Dittmer 39:33
Oh, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 39:35
Yeah. And what did she say? 

Oh, the first time she said you finally got your head out of your hands and wrote this book. 

Daryl Dittmer 39:44
Well, that that's almost every day. But as far as far as the book thing, 

it was something along the lines of, you know, I knew a lot of these stories, but I had no idea how 

insane and profound every, you know, the impact was on you. 

So that was yeah, that was that was that was a really cool moment, I think, for both of us, because, you know, after at that point, after almost 20 years of marriage, you know, she got to know me a little better and know a little more about how I tick. And I also got to know a little bit more about how she ticks, which was which was a really cool unintended consequence of of the first book. 

Rich Bennett 40:39
Now she's going to have to write a book right? 

Daryl Dittmer 40:41
Yeah, she could. And she'd probably be better at it than me. 

She's, she's much more organized than much more. You know, she takes care of all the smart stuff. And I just, you know, I just plod around and do what I do. 

Rich Bennett 41:00
So 

it's something very important to tell everybody, your website and where they can find your book. 

Daryl Dittmer 41:09
I'm sure my website is w WW dot Darryl Dittmer dot com which is d r y l d i t t m e r tor.com. 

Rich Bennett 41:23
And for those of you listening when you get it, don't forget the title. First of all, when I stop fighting the unexpected joy of getting my head out of my ass, you can get it on Kindle hardcover or paperback. Actually. Any plans on doing an audio audio. 

Daryl Dittmer 41:42
In my spare time? AM on chapter three, Chapter five. And oh, I will. Yeah, I will have an audio because I'm doing it in my voice and I just had to learn how to do that. So I'm narrating it. It should be out. I'm going to say probably April or May of 28. 

Rich Bennett 42:02
Nice. So when you guys get it, make sure you leave a full review, whether it be on Amazon, good pods or whatever, 

because we want we want to see Daryl's book climb back up those charts again. It's got to get it back up to number one and keep it there for a while. Like Pink Floyd's was the Dark side of the Moon. 

Daryl Dittmer 42:24
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 42:25
Yeah. Like, that's a gallows up, you know, you may. Here's the job. Get ready. Say, Pink Floyd's Thriller is like, No, that was my. 

So where's my mind? Holy cow. So before I get to my last question, is there anything you would like to add? 

You know, I. 

Daryl Dittmer 42:48
I believe that it's, you know, life is a journey that that, to me needs to be explored and taken advantage of and relentlessly pursued. And that's what I love to see people do. And I love to see people take advantage of everything that life can offer. And if my book helps them do that, I'm I'm eternally grateful. And and rich, I thank you so much for for having me on. 

Rich Bennett 43:17
Oh, my pleasure. My pleasure. And so you've been doing the podcast surrogate. Now, is there anything a host has never asked you or myself that you wish they would have asked you? And if so, what would be that question and what would be your answer? 

Oh. 

Daryl Dittmer 43:39
You know, I haven't thought about this before, but 

I guess what would be the 

the most life changing lesson that you learned in recovery? Because I hadn't gone specifically that question. 

And and I'm ready to answer it. 

Rich Bennett 44:05
What would be your answer for the. 

Daryl Dittmer 44:11
So 

the 

the answer is Budd, who was my sponsor? And, you know, I was flailing at the time. And, you know, there's there's generally I think it's probably a for me, it was about a five year window that I was just very unsure, very insecure, very just didn't know what to do, didn't know exactly how to act, that sort of thing. And it took me that amount of time, I think, to just feel like I'm on a track. 

So but one of the things that Bud said to me, and I think this is crucially important, no matter where we are in life and no matter, you know, whether I'm whether I'm 18 or and I'm just getting sober or whether I'm, you know, 58, which is how old I am now. And I'm and I'm moving on with my life. But but Bud said first things first and the rest shall be added on. So and what that means to me is and how I've tried to conduct myself and, you know, things get a little more profound as you get older and the understanding gets better as you get older. But or at least that's the hope, right? Mm. But, but you know, taking care of myself and taking care of my body and my mind and my heart and my soul as my first priority and, and if I do that and the great one of the great things about life is if I do that, I'm good for everyone else. I'm good for those around me, I'm good for my wife, I'm good for our sons, I'm good for my family, I'm good for the person walking down the street. Because if I feel good and I give them a smile and that's something that they needed that day, at that time, I'm able to do that because I'm taking care of myself. If I'm not taking care of myself, I'm not able to do that. So. So I like, like first things first and the rest I'll be shall be added on is something I carry with me every day. And I can get off track and I can get, you know, nuts and I can be a maniac and all that sort of thing. But if I real myself back in and take care of those things that make me better, I'm better for the rest of the world. 

Rich Bennett 46:32
I love that. Then that is that is awesome. That that was probably one of the best questions and answers at the end of one of my episodes. Seriously, that was I want to get that. Thank you. I want to get that etched into a board and put on a just hanging on my wall. 

Daryl Dittmer 46:55
Mm hmm. 

Rich Bennett 46:56
I love that. I think that's something good everybody should follow. Wow. Daryl, I want to thank you so much. It's been a true pleasure. And, you know, you got to come back on when the second book is getting released, right? 

Daryl Dittmer 47:10
Would love that. Oh, that would be so cool. I would really appreciate that. Yeah. Thank you, Roger Everly. 

Rich Bennett 47:15
The door's open. And if if you have any questions or need any help with the launch of your podcast, just give me a holler. I've been doing this since 2015 saying I got a little bit under my. 

Daryl Dittmer 47:30
Yeah, I will. I definitely will. You know, maybe I'll send you a little clip and say, How bad does this suck? And you can you can tell me, you know, how I did. 

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, it's. 

Rich Bennett 47:44
It's fun. You'll have a blast and you'll. You'll learn a lot from it. I my biggest bit of advice when it goes to podcast and anybody was getting into the podcast remember this never ever delete an episode even if it's your first episode, never delete it because I still go back to those first episodes. I listened to them. I'm like, 

Wow, that was really awful. But as far as the sagas and everything else but the message, we're still getting across, and that's the thing. You never want to get rid of the message. So that's the main thing to remember when you get when you start that day. Daryl thanks a lot, man. 

Daryl Dittmer 48:33
Thank you, Rich. I appreciate it, man, very, very much. We'll be talking. I'll be good. Thank you.