Navigating Friendships and Boundaries for a Healthier Tomorrow

This episode titled "Navigating Friendships and Boundaries for a Healthier Tomorrow," sponsored by American Auto Repair, revolves around the challenges and complexities of managing personal relationships, particularly in the context of friendship. The conversation delves into the intricate process of losing friends, which can often be a painful yet inevitable part of personal growth and setting healthier boundaries. The discussion emphasizes the importance of these boundaries in maintaining one's mental and emotional well-being.

Throughout the episode, the themes of personal development,
self-care, and the journey towards a healthier life are explored in depth. It
highlights the idea that while losing friends can be difficult, it sometimes is
necessary for personal growth and healthier living. The episode underscores the
value of honest communication and the strength found in supportive communities,
especially when navigating the often arduous path to personal wellness.

Sponsored by American Auto Repair, the episode seamlessly
integrates the theme of maintenance and care - not just for vehicles but in the
context of personal relationships and self - underscoring the importance of
regular 'maintenance' and 'tuning' in one's life to journey towards a healthier
tomorrow.

Here are links for you to bookmark, save, follow, memorize, write down, and share with others:

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Transcript

Rich Bennett 0:00
All right. So I had one of my cohost come to me and she said, Rich, we need to do a podcast about the challenges of losing friends, setting boundaries, and the journey of reaching the other side of a healthy life. So I said, okay, basically if Paige, just like with Kayla, Wendy, all my other co-host, if they tell me to jump, I say, how high. So it was like, okay, well, let's do a page now. And they realized that Paige was not going to be able to do this in person. So we have Kayla with us as well, who you've all heard Kayla on a couple of podcast already. 

Kayla and I are sitting at home probably, what, 20 degrees outside now? 

Paige Dixon 0:47
Kayla Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 0:48
Snow on the ground page whose idea this was, is sitting down in fricking Costa Rica. What's the temperature down there? 

Paige Dixon 0:58
Paige Right now we are on the beach. We get up at 430 and go surfing every morning and in the morning it's about 72. So this is their summer time. So we are mornings are still really nice. So probably in the eighties, but we'll reach about nineties. Sorry. 

Rich Bennett 1:18
Oh, you're disgusting. 

Paige Dixon 1:21
I can join me any time you guys ever. 

Rich Bennett 1:26
Look if I even try to get on a surfboard, that thing's probably just going to sink. Yeah, it'll be the surf first. Surfboard. 

Paige Dixon 1:33
We're sinks. No, I would share with mine. Mine's a nine foot for me. It's a boat. Anybody can stand on it as long as I'm. 

Rich Bennett 1:41
On a surfboard With you. 

Paige Dixon 1:43
Not with. Oh, my God. That would be Marius. 

Rich Bennett 1:45
I was going to say, Look, I have a lesson by. I've never surfboard. I mean, I've was wakeboarding, I've skateboard, I used to skateboard all the time. But now when I stand, if I stand on a skateboard now, it's going to tell me to get off. 

Paige Dixon 1:58
Yeah, I say that. I say that I'm not good. Like Joe goes, does his thing. And, you know, the waves have to be a certain height, certain waves, certain, you know, I'm not good at all, but I try. 

Rich Bennett 2:11
So for those of you listening, we're recording this in January while Kayla and I are sitting here bundled up, freezing our tails off 

Paige sitting there in her bikini because she just came home from 

work. All right, So, Paige, how did you come up with this topic? 

Paige Dixon 2:33
You know, so I have a company called our Village Wellness, and it's an outreach program for adolescents, women and girls. I started a program, um, women's empowerment group a year ago. Seven women now 56, all Harford County. And, um, you know, during that period of time, we have talked about a lot of topics. The part of being a part of the group is it's a bet it's a safe space. Mhm. Anybody and everybody is welcome wherever you are in your life, whether you're starting a family or you're an empty nester or a widow, single, dating wherever you are in your life, everybody is welcome. So I use other speakers and other professionals because our village is about it takes a village, right? I only know it. I know I live my experience of my experience. So I it's important to me to get as much information out there as I can. So talking to the women, we discuss where they are in their lives and then I put programs together for them to educate and support them. 

Ongoing topic of 23 was getting healthier, right, And getting healthier mentally, physically, wherever you are in your life. It speaks differently for everyone, but the common denominator always was dealing with loss, dealing with broken families, relationships, narcissism being gaslighted. It was all this and they knew I call it luck. They knew they were in the muck, but they couldn't figure out how to get their lives healthier because when you, you know, you're in a job where your boss is nasty or you have a mother in law or a father or whatever, and you're kind of part of this unhealthy, toxic relationship, you can't live your best life. I mean, it it it does so much to your body that's unhealthy. And because I had gone through it, um, and I did it alone, I mean, I had a support group of friends and parents, but I really did it on my own by reading kind of going back to college and getting my cognitive behavior degree. You know, I, I learned it on my own. So I became very passionate for these women to not feel like they're alone. We hear you're enough. You know, we hear that a lot. But but that speaks volumes. Yeah. So kind of going through the muck, supporting them and educating them on how do you set boundaries. We hear this a lot. The very trendy word, you know. So how do we go about setting boundaries, moving forward, you know, dealing dealing with the toxic things in your life? Right. So we don't talk about when you go through it, it's horrible. You know, it's sleepless nights, it's tears, it's having to set a boundary for this person. But what does that look like now? You've got to lose all these groups of friends, too. And this also goes with addiction, whether it's drugs or alcohol. It's that same it's the same mentality of getting to this other side. And we don't talk about this how scared it is, right, to move away. 

It kind of brings on more toxic ness to have to go through this. So, you know, the thing is, is is going through support and supporting them and talking about this and knowing that all that as horrible, horrible as it is, you go through it. It's what you got to do to get to the other side. Yeah. When you get to that other side, you feel healthier, You breathe, your heart doesn't race anymore. You may not need that anxiety medication anymore. You know, and then you become protective of your what we have to do. And when you get there, how freeing and feels and you start recognizing all the other toxic people and you're like, and I'm like, I'll be kind to you from a distance, but I'm not going to let you in my life. Like it changes you and I've gone through it and I know what it's like to be protected. Now you never to my wellbeing and I have made some very bold moves in my life to get there and it was horrible, but I wouldn't change it for the world. And my hope now is to help others. I'm still going through it. There's still people that come through. I mean, you're never you. I don't think they're really numb. But we can we can talk about that and we can talk about the science of what does it mean to be happy. That's the science of becoming happier means you're going to have sad days and you're going to feel depressed and some days you're not going to want. But that's okay because those things kind of give you the insight of the changes you keep needing to make. 

So sad days that that's okay. So anyway, it's, you know, it's kind of educating, supporting and a safe space where 

they can feel free to open and share. And that's a lot. What has happened right now is the women are sharing and they're creating connections and friendships and, you know, and creating this amazing support group. I did a gala this winter and I mean, all the women were crying and it's just a beautiful thing to see all these relationships just come together where we're becoming a family. So that's kind of the stages of it. And now I'm starting a group for girls called Glow as we had talked before. But GLOW is girl leaders outreach worldwide, and now it's about taking this. Thank you. It's about taking those like the women and all that we talk about, but making it age appropriate and start planting seeds so they're not learning these lessons. Like me in my thirties, you know, I'm, you know, it's it's that so that's super exciting. So that's beginning next month. 

Rich Bennett 9:23
Awesome guy you are keeping busy, aren't you. 

Paige Dixon 9:27
Yeah, it's a good thing. Oh, they're wonderful women. 

Kayla Deickman 9:31
That's wonderful. The like. Yeah, it really is. First of all, I'm probably going to say this podcast is going to make me emotional. 

Rich Bennett 9:39
That that's okay. That's allowed. We believe we've had it happen before. 

Paige Dixon 9:44
I yeah. 

Kayla Deickman 9:45
Have been going through I went. 

Paige Dixon 9:47
Through. 

Kayla Deickman 9:49
Pretty much in the last four years 

losing a friendship that meant the world to me because I had to put boundaries in place and then growing from that, making and solidifying some new friendship with some women that I grew up. 

Paige Dixon 10:09
With. 

Kayla Deickman 10:10
That we didn't really talk when we were kids and as adults, like, our kids are really close. We're really close. And I didn't have that prior to losing this relationship and all the growth and the change had, I had not lost and felt the heartache and the pain of losing a friend who I considered family who I considered, she was my other soulmate kind of thing, just to grow and realize how toxic that relationship was. And now seeing myself four years later and the place that I'm at personally, I can I can tell that it needed to happen. 

Paige Dixon 10:50
Yeah. 

Kayla Deickman 10:51
And now since that happened, the clarity of putting boundaries in place has been an everyday thing in my life where it didn't used to be. I'm a perpetual people pleaser. Yeah, and but now I have more of the backbone to say no, I'm not comfortable with that or 

I'm like, she. She was close to me because she helped me. When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I was a teen pregnancy, me and my husband and her father are still together ten years later, and I at the time didn't feel like I had any support system. And it was really hard. Those first couple years where you're told as a new mom in general what you should and shouldn't do. 

Paige Dixon 11:43
Well. 

Kayla Deickman 11:44
In the sidelines. This friend was telling me these things now when she herself didn't have children and I was constantly feeling like I feel like I'm failing as a parent and I don't know why. 

Paige Dixon 11:56
And it was. 

Kayla Deickman 11:56
All of these people just telling me how I wasn't doing a good job. And then I had another close friend of ours was like, No, you're doing fine. I don't understand why you feel this way. Well, all of these negative things were constantly being said. And then as the time grew, this friend spent a lot of time with my children. She was there with me for my second pregnancy when I was 21. She would consistently tell me like, Hey, I'm your child's godparent. 

Paige Dixon 12:28
Like, without me asked. 

Kayla Deickman 12:30
And I was just narcissistic. 

Paige Dixon 12:32
This is nice to you. 

Kayla Deickman 12:34
Very much so. And on top of it, she would make what I would consider important decisions. But it was her life and I wasn't going to involve myself like, and tell her that they were bad decisions at the time either. Right? Because I felt like that would have fractured us and in reality, I should have been telling her. And I did somewhat tell her like, no, you shouldn't be, you know, getting back into this relationship ship that you've had on and off and on and off for four years because it's not healthy and you're hurting from this. You should take some time for yourself. And she made me like I would doubt even telling her things to make her feel. And we had a third friend in this group who 

she had actually been living with, this friend. And even she was concerned for her own safety because this friend would bring people home and she had made it clear and was like, No, like you can't be doing this. And it kind of went down, you know, up and over the head of the person. 

Paige Dixon 13:43
Which is great. There's a third friend because that kind of gave you that confirmation, what you were feeling like you were definitely on the right path of these red flags. 

Kayla Deickman 13:53
Exactly. The problem with it was, is neither of us could see the red flags at the time because we had both been friends with her for so. 

Paige Dixon 14:02
Long. 

Kayla Deickman 14:03
And subsequently I met her when I was 16, 17. But our other friend had known her since they were like eight. 

Paige Dixon 14:12
And yeah, same. I got a very similar story. Yeah. 

Kayla Deickman 14:14
So when she inevitably started saying like, these are my children, like I'm going to take my babies out and go hang out with them, you know? And I was like, Oh, okay. Like, I'm not super comfortable with you saying that, you know, they're they're my kids. And we would go out and. 

Paige Dixon 14:32
Very controlling. 

Kayla Deickman 14:33
And we would go out in public and someone's would say, Oh, your children are beautiful. And I would go to say, Oh, thank you. But she would chime in prior to me being able to say anything. And it got to the point where I, I it sounds bad, but I wasn't having the ability to reciprocate any like the, the little happiness things considering I was constantly being told. 

Paige Dixon 14:59
You know. 

Kayla Deickman 14:59
You're not doing a good job. I know sometimes I wanted to be the one to say like thank you, you know? Right. And when I was pregnant with my son, I went through a lot of medical issues. 

I was at the beginning stages of pot syndrome and which is Rachel we'll be talking about next podcast that we do together. 

Paige Dixon 15:25
Which that's. I'm sorry to interrupt. That's Alena. She's actually in my women's group because I co-hosted with you and Alina talked about that. Yeah. Elena. Now she's she is a big one in my women's group. Yeah. Yeah. So fantastic topic. 

Kayla Deickman 15:42
Wonderful topic. 

Paige Dixon 15:44
Needed. 

Kayla Deickman 15:44
Very needed when this was before, I only got diagnosed this year, but the symptoms have been going on for years. Yeah. 

Paige Dixon 15:52
If you need a friend, I can connect you with this. They love that. Yeah. 

Kayla Deickman 15:57
Yeah. But when I was pregnant with my son, I passed out a lot. I was with this friend one time and I passed out while I was behind the wheel and we were luckily in a drive thru, so she did get me out of the car and move me, but then prompted to yell at me about this happening and I was like, whatever. 

Rich Bennett 16:21
She's. 

Paige Dixon 16:22
And oh no. 

Kayla Deickman 16:23
That was very upsetting because there wasn't anything that I could do. But this, the entire time I was pregnant with my son, she was pregnant with her first child and she and her the father of her child did not stay together due to a series of bad decisions. In my opinion, on both ends. I'm not saying that either one are bad parents. Actually, from what I've seen, I think they both are pretty pretty good parents separately. But regardless of that situation, she was not okay that I found out the gender of my son early because I did blood work. 

Paige Dixon 17:03
And. 

Kayla Deickman 17:04
I had two daughters prior and I was very excited to find out and I needed this blood work anyway because I was a high risk pregnancy with complications. And so I was excited that I was having this little boy. And from that point, like, our friendship completely dissolved. And she yelled at me and told me like she should have been able to find out the gender of her child first. But because she was in a high risk pregnancy, she didn't find out until 20 weeks, which is average. And I was there's not much that I could have done about that. I did apologize. And even though knowing I shouldn't have, I didn't have a reason to. 

Paige Dixon 17:48
Yeah. 

Kayla Deickman 17:49
But then she didn't acknowledge me then she didn't acknowledge my son at all. And 

I our children are two weeks apart. And it I thought my son was going to have this little friend to play with. And I was so excited to go do this journey with my best friend at the time. And it was just so heartbreaking for me to see that this wasn't happening like this. This wasn't going to happen. And our our mutual friend, she was confused on why this person was behaving this way, because even she was like she said that I didn't do anything wrong. And now years later, I didn't I know I didn't do anything wrong. And it was a it was a weird situation to be in due to some extenuating circumstances. 

Paige Dixon 18:46
And I ended up. 

Kayla Deickman 18:49
Wanting to, you know, have an easy birth, things like that. And I did. And I'm very thankful that with my son there were no birthing complications. But the day I, I remember it really clearly, the day I was in the hospital in labor and miserable, I got a phone call, the video chat for my my son was born on Father's Day during the pandemic. 

And so during that video chat, knowing that I can't have my mom with me, I can't have anybody with me that I would have wanted with me, aside from my husband. They called to say hi and see how everything was not knowing I was in labor and wanting to tell him. She wanted to tell me specifically about somebody she had met that week. So I was like, okay, make it quick kind of thing because I'm. 

Paige Dixon 19:46
In the middle of. 

Kayla Deickman 19:47
Something. I'm in the middle of a really big something. And she told me that she took her daughter. She told me and this other friend something completely different. And we later found the truth. 

Paige Dixon 20:01
Out. 

Kayla Deickman 20:03
That she took she went and went to meet somebody to go swimming. And because it was the summertime postpartum, a couple of weeks postpartum, and that, um, you know, they hit it off later. Come to find out she had taken her infant daughter with her. And I 

freaked out. 

Paige Dixon 20:28
I. 

Kayla Deickman 20:29
And that's just me as a mom like I freaked out and I was like, you should not take your child to meet a stranger like and that's where our friendship hit a head, because I did call her out. Yeah, I trusted her with my children. 

Paige Dixon 20:44
Yeah. 

Kayla Deickman 20:44
And now seeing her take her child. 

Paige Dixon 20:47
Out. 

Kayla Deickman 20:48
To meet somebody she had never met before was really concerning for me as a parent. So I told her, Hey, like, you can do whatever you want with your kid. I don't find that particularly safe, so I'm not going to allow you to take my children out with you anymore, because now I can't guarantee 

that you're going to keep my kids safe, too, Right? I was told that I used my children as pawns and an unfortunate. 

Paige Dixon 21:19
Yeah, You know what, Kayla, I'm not sorry to interrupt, but, you know, these stories, like your story is like everybody has their own story and their own journey of, like, what it takes for them, like somebody else to be, like, just get rid of her. But you can. It's your own journey and your own timing when it's right for you. I mean, there's a lot of parents who have narcissistic parents and they're like, Yeah, just stand up for yourself. And they're just not ready yet, you know? So your journey, it took that moment for you to say, you know, the saying this nail in the coffin where you are finally done, you know, it might have taken you two years longer than somebody else would. But that's, you know, that was for you to do. And you should be really proud of yourself, because I'm sure now you feel like bricks are lifted, you feel healthier, you feel, you know. 

Kayla Deickman 22:17
Sense. That happened. I spent probably once the friendship did dissolve. And I remember making the decision that this wasn't going to work out after she had said that I used my children as pawns because I never looked at my children property. I have never looked at my children at anything less than the amazing people that they are. And they're my kids, but they're their own individual selves as well. 

And I remember sitting on my bed in tears, sobbing, talking to my husband about I don't think I can continue this relationship with her because if I do, it's going to drag not just me but our kids through something, because at the time they were still young enough that they wouldn't have remembered who she was. 

Paige Dixon 23:09
Right? Absolutely. And now, now you're in the muck. You now, now you're in where you know, it's it's scary. How do you do this? You know? You know, And also, too, it's hard when you kind of speak up for yourself and the other person doesn't come from a place of love. They come from being defensive. They come from, you know, you want somebody that you know of me and my best friend have an argument. We know at the end of the day, we come from a place of love and we want to continue this friendship. You know, you know, when you go against someone and you have an argument because arguments are great, that's how we grow. It's how we share our thoughts and our life experiences. So you should always have it's okay to have a little banter, but as long as that banter again comes from a place of love and not a place, a defensiveness, that's a major red flag, you know, with people, you know. 

Kayla Deickman 24:09
And I was saying I'd forgotten. That's where it always came from. It was a constant attack and defend the kind of situation, even when I personally was not trying to attack her for any of the decisions that she made. I was trying to explain how how some of these aren't healthy. And I felt that she would feel a lot better with her own, like her own self if she were to find some find some help that could like expand on what she was already talking to others about. And it was heartbreaking for me the first two years year, two years. 

Paige Dixon 24:55
But yeah, so you know where you're at right now. You know, now you're going through that much. The next stage is loss. And, you know, I it's one of my favorite topics because I, I have overcome that feeling of loss. People say loss and they think of someone that has past losses, divorce loss is broken, family losses. But you're going through with a friend. Yeah. So now you got to kind of mourn the situation, but also understand that your friend has got stuff she needs to go work on. And our hope is that she can unfortunately, narcissist, narcissistic, don't not calling her a narcissist, but people in that category may never but your hope is that she will miss you too, and she can reflect on why you had to walk away. You know that that's your hope, but that's not your responsibility to do that when it doesn't come from a place of love. On her end. I wish, you know, and you are absolutely welcome to join us in our women's group. So I do a thing called Spill the Tea, and it's a virtual coffee and tea session. And we have different topics that come up 

and we did part one. And part one was exactly, exactly What you're talking about is kind of understanding where we are in our ourselves of 

deciding where we are, who is manipulating what kind of groups that we're in is kind of like an inward look of, you know, am I in this place in life where I need to be that isn't toxic and kind of choosing that, but also, too, you know, I'm a life coach. I'm not a psychiatrist, and I just really love to go backwards, you know, to the beginning of your lives and diagnose it as a life coach. We're more forward thinking. However, it is important to take a step back and understand attachment styles. Understand, you know, our experiences as a young child to kind of help us understand why are we a people pleaser? Why are we, you know, we do the things that we do because it kind of helps us where we are today in relationships, you know? So it was kind of this great discussion and it's open discussion. I started I bring facts, we 

talk about things, but then the discussion is open. We all share and it's nice. The feedback I always get from the women is what they love. It's they're all different experiences, but it's still all the same. Like it's all still under one umbrella. And it's just it gives them the support of knowing that they're not alone and this journey through, we have another one this month. It's part two and it's kind of understanding more of the next stage of the journey of getting through that muck. 

Kayla Deickman 28:08
So I would absolutely love to, 

especially now and again, I it's been years now to the where I'm comfortable saying like, I'm glad things ended and I'm happy with where I'm at because had they not ended, I probably would not have had the confidence myself to write my stories for the kids that I feel needed them. Yeah. 

Paige Dixon 28:37
Oh yes. And isn't that the most beautiful thing? That's the other side that I want to get everybody from. It's that those experiences is what started my women's group, what started our village as we get to that other side. And it also the most important thing I want people to know is that we go through horrible things, You know, I mean, as horrible as, you know, death situations or cancer that you I mean, it could be just as horrible. And we're like, you know, why me? Why me? But you know what? If you can see a positive in a bad situation, it gives you the purpose to help others with it, not dwell on it and just be depressed in that. But it gives you a purpose. It gave you the purpose to write your book. I have goosebumps. That's so beautiful. And you had so many I mean, just that little bit that I'd known. You know, I've just now met you. You have like many, many purposes. You know, your podcast next year, autism. I'm like, you're such a beautiful, perfect person and you're going to help so many people. And that's what we need to see the beauty in all of us. Like that, like, warms my heart. Like that's why women and men, if you choose to, but you need to stick together and grow as a community of women because statistically, women provide better grip. Men can kind of be loners. There's a man cave, quote unquote. You know, they like their time a lot together. I'm not like men, like hanging out and being together. But statistically, we thrive better not on our own. I see those. I go in there, sir. 

Rich Bennett 30:36
Well, wait a minute. Okay. Yeah. Women have she sheds. 

Paige Dixon 30:40
Oh, you're right. I love that. I need to see shed in my in my attic. I have got, like, the most closed attic. And I do call that my shoe shed to say to shed. Yes, but you know what I mean. Just statistically, women do thrive better. Men love their guys. My dad's got his coffee group, like, you know, I'm just speaking for just women. Not at all. But, you know. 

Rich Bennett 31:05
Women I something. And you're right there. And I believe because women are better communicators, in all honesty. That's right. Yeah, that's that's true. 

Paige Dixon 31:14
You know, and just just to clarify, like, you know, and I talk about this a lot with Joe is is that like saying women's empowerment does not mean we go after the men and women's rights and all that, because I'm not a part of that at all. Women's empowerment just means coming together, creating a safe space to know that, you know, you're loved, you're supported, and we're here to educate and massive in educating like I, educating myself. I'm constantly reading the women's Yeah, the women's group is getting ready to start a book club. 

Yeah, I'm so excited. It's a book. 

Rich Bennett 31:56
I know a young children's author who's written two books where I I'm. 

Paige Dixon 32:00
Her and I. This connection is going to grow like I'm reaching out to her personally. But this book is called Bill The Life You Want Buy. It's Oprah Winfrey and what's his name? Author Brooks. And it is it's that it's that science behind getting happier. So we're going to do a book club on this but and I brought the book into it just because I love books. I love books. I'm always reading like, am I you know, I can talk to you about Netflix and books, you know, like, but all my books are about that. I personally read are all about how to live my best life. Had to be the best version of myself, even though I'm always screwing up, you know? But we can set the reset next tomorrow. 

Rich Bennett 32:49
You know? And then. And then. And then? Then I know. Faith. Paige. Paige, you're not screwing up your learning. 

Paige Dixon 32:57
Yes. Very good. Yep. You're always learning. 

Rich Bennett 33:01
I have to correct you every. 

Paige Dixon 33:02
Once in a. Yeah, I know. I don't know what I'd do without You think? Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 33:06
You know what? It's funny, because every time you and I talk, it's always about positivity and who you know how to look for the better things in something that's wrong. Oh, God, I miss that. 

Paige Dixon 33:23
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 33:24
You have got to stop going away for. 

Paige Dixon 33:27
But we can read like this if you're good with that. I know. 

Rich Bennett 33:30
Yeah, this is. Yeah. Oh, you know, I've got most of my recordings lately. Have been. 

Paige Dixon 33:34
Virtual. Yeah, it's. It's definitely helpful. I think that's the one good thing about it. It kind of taught us how small the world is, you know, and how we can connect and, you know, be in here now and Costa Rica. It's to me, I just feel I'm just going to expand more. I see your eye rolls, just expand more. It reach out to more women, reach out to more children. You know, it's just it's it's a cool thing for me to spread my wings. 

Rich Bennett 34:02
I just want you bring me home. One of these monkeys. 

Paige Dixon 34:05
Oh, they're amazing. And and. 

Kayla Deickman 34:08
I love that part of the reason my books are all focused on positive mental. 

Paige Dixon 34:15
Health. 

Kayla Deickman 34:16
And loving yourself. My first book is called I Love My Myself. And it's and it's just it's a it's a positive affirmations book for kids. 

Paige Dixon 34:29
And like I. 

Kayla Deickman 34:32
My second book, All Brains Are Beautiful, is about loving our individual brain. Oh, my God. 

Paige Dixon 34:37
And I think you're my soul sister. 

Rich Bennett 34:40
I'm telling you, she's awesome. 

Paige Dixon 34:41
I know. I think you're my soul sister, right? We've really have to collaborate, but. 

Kayla Deickman 34:46
I'd love to. I mean, I do fundraising. I actually went to a girls camp this past summer, and I had the opportunity to speak with kids about how and what it's like to be an author and also how writing can change the world for others. My biggest thing that I want kids to get out of my book is to understand that they should love them, that who they are as they are, and you don't need the nicest clothes, you don't need the newest shoes, and your hair can be bright red and curly or colored, pink and purple. As long as you're happy with you and you're not doing it for others. 

Paige Dixon 35:33
I need you to be my life first speaker. Like you need to be my first speaker. I think this is why you and I were put together. You know, the thing too, is, is it part of the girls group searching for the older girls? I want them to be comfortable with public speaking. I want them to lead in a way where they will They're going to set the tone of our meetings and I want them to research and, you know, the ones that choose to do this, like I want to guide them. And, you know, as they get older, they'll be scholarships for these girls and, you know, all kinds of sorts of things. But, you know, it's it's very much like the women's group Safe Place to Come as you are. And let's support each other. And, you know, I want them to also set the tone of our topics. You know, I don't know what it's like to be a middle schooler anymore. So tell me what it's like to be a middle schooler and listen to them. And then let's let's talk about this. And, you know, one of my favorite topics 

is bullying. I do a whole thing about, you know, saying bully proof is what I call it, but I'm also the sucker for the bully because I think the bully is a cry for help. So I talk to girls. I've done many outreach programs with them where we talk about why you're being bullied, why are you possibly the target and teaching them how to take the bullies power away, you know, because bullies are also they could be a coworker, they could be a boss they could be the person sitting next to you in college like, you know, it never goes away. But if you learn to know that you have a voice, you have a right to use it. Yeah. You know, I mean, the just go on and on and on 

where, you know, it's just it's an it's important to start planting seeds in these little girls. So I think you and I, you and I are going to do some good work. 

Rich Bennett 37:30
I not if you ever get up here. 

Paige Dixon 37:34
I can talk to her like this. I'll be back right now. I'll be back in March. Yeah, I'll be back sometime in March. 

Kayla Deickman 37:41
Well, whenever you're free. Yeah. I mean, again, the biggest thing that I've ever wanted to do with my life growing up was I want to make an impact for those who feel like they can't themselves. Yeah, I can't do the things and encourage them to let them know they can do the things to the people. 

Paige Dixon 37:59
Who. 

Kayla Deickman 38:01
Feel like they have no voice. MM I personally know several people who do not speak vocally, but they use things like AC devices. So alternate communication methods, your tablet, even texting. I hear a lot of negative feedback about people using these alternative communication devices. And I'm like, you guys, everybody text me another forum. And I actually seen 

adults who have talked about how they were bullied simply because they used a different form of communication. 

Paige Dixon 38:38
And it. 

Kayla Deickman 38:41
If you look at that, if you look at everything, whether you're a victim of bullying or the bully themselves, it's also it's all a form of communication, all of it in the grand scheme of life. And it's learning how to communicate effectively in what ways that work for you. It's also like you're learning a new language and you have to learn how to communicate with each other while speaking different languages and that can be so hard and that can lead to a lot of broken hearted friendships and things like that. Just like similar to love languages, I would think where everybody is a little bit different. And again, learning how to communicate effectively can help both prevent destructive, broken friendships, relationships to learning how to set the appropriate building blocks abstractly. 

Paige Dixon 39:41
And that's the planning scene. So that's the part where we plant seeds in these young girls so they can start to understand that. So, you know, so when they are, you know, gosh forbid, to be bullied or body shamed or trafficking or something, you know, on social media, they now are like, hold up. I remember hearing blah, blah, blah. And now it's just like being a parent. I'm looking both ways before they cross the street. You know, you plant these seeds and then that hopefully, you know, or God forbid, the opportunity arises where they need to use their voice. They'll know how to and they do it in the right way, not in the wrong way of fighting or, you know, what have you. So, you know, I'm I'm super excited to get this group going and to see where and see where it goes. So it's been, you know, I'll say. 

Rich Bennett 40:41
Something, something I I've gotten from this, especially when Kayla was talking about, you know, losing the friendships. 

And Paige, you and I have talked about this before because I've always said 

friendship, friendships, not all friendships are going to last. That's why it's got those last three letters at the end of Friend and Indy. But for what I got from Kayla, when you mentioned losing your friends, you gained it. Correct me if I'm wrong, you gained the biggest friend in your life, which is something that a lot of people still have not found. And that's a friend in yourself. 

Kayla Deickman 41:25
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 41:26
A lot of people have still not found that or figured out how to do that. You got to. 

Paige Dixon 41:32
Exactly. 

Rich Bennett 41:33
You are your best friend. 

Paige Dixon 41:35
Yeah. And that's and that's the muck that I talk about. That's that the muck that you got to go through to find the clarity, to understand that and, that it's also very frightening to go through it because you're almost gaslighting yourself. Yeah. You know, and, and all of that. So you have to get through it. And so many of us have done this on our own, and it just doesn't need to be that way. You know, we don't need to be do this on your own, you know, And with the women's group, gosh, almost every single woman is doing this. They're either doing it now, they've done it. They need to start doing it. It's it's unfortunate, but this is this is where we're at, you know, and this is an understanding that I'm so relieved that's out there, you know, that, you know, setting boundaries is okay to do and so much healthier to do. And now, as. 

Kayla Deickman 42:39
Time has gone on since this friendship and I have an amazing circle of women that I wouldn't have had had I'd kept this friend was prior friend kind of isolated me from the people that I held closest to me. I also have a childhood friend who I've been friends with since I was 13, 14 years old, and she is to this day the only friend that I've had that stuck through me with everything that I've gone. 

Paige Dixon 43:08
Through Ryder, Diez and rather die. 

Kayla Deickman 43:11
This friend that I had lost, she basically would isolate and separate me from this other friend of mine. And now after I lost the friendship, 

my, my, my, who I consider my best friend. Now she is around all the time again, like all. And I wondered, when did when did this stop? Before. Why? Why did I why did we stop seeing each other for as long as we did? And it was literally that one denominator. And from. 

Paige Dixon 43:48
There. 

Kayla Deickman 43:49
Are our mutual friends. She actually remained friends with me through this friendship break up, I would say, and stopped also speaking to this other person as well, because she didn't like the behaviors and didn't like the way that she had spoken to me. And just like that, she ended their friendship since they were eight years old and we were all in our mid-twenties at the time. And so she's also really close to me. She just works a lot and has a good, amazing job. She helps others in the community and. I can't say what her job is, but she's out there and she'll be one of the first people to come and save you. 

Paige Dixon 44:33
But that's wonderful. 

Kayla Deickman 44:34
And I have two other three other really close women who our kids are all friends. They are like, it's an amazing group. 

Paige Dixon 44:44
It's so it's it's so amazing. I am I am I am not an alcoholic. However, I really started a passion for people that were going through drug abuse and alcoholism. And really because I have a dear friend that has been sober for almost two years and I'm so proud of her. But she explains being on the other side and the beauty of being sober, very similar to how I feel about going through the muck and being on the other side, you know, So it seems very similar. So I started really reaching out to people who wanted to live a sober life, and it's all very it's all very similar. But when I started doing that and more people that were trying to live a sober life was like coming out of the woodwork. So it's kind of neat, I think when you're putting things out there. 

It's fascinating how the universe finds you and finds the right people you need and your life. And sometimes people are put in our lives to futures like that, you know, or some people come into our lives because you were meant to love them and give them what they needed and then they needed to go, you know? So I think, you know, if we kind of can take a step back and reevaluate some of our situations, you know, sometimes it can be kind of a beautiful thing. And, you know, and. 

Kayla Deickman 46:12
From this whole experience, I've learned when and how to put in boundaries and the appropriate way so that I can prevent this from happening to myself again. Now We have a big running joke and kind of like my immediate close mom friends where we all parent each other's kids, where if, say, if we're having a large playdate and I'm talking, there's sometimes 5 to 10 kids at my house. 

Paige Dixon 46:41
We all remember those things. 

Kayla Deickman 46:43
Yeah, we all are like, okay, like if we're all getting in trouble, we're probably all getting in trouble, but normally it's one of us. You end up having to take charge. It's very similar to it takes a village and in the grand scheme of life, I know that I can keep my friend's kids also out of dangerous situations if it were to arise. Because I love these children like my own. But I also have said that boundary, whereas I love these other children like they're my own, but I'm never going to overstep because I've had that stepped on. Given we do all yell at our all of our children because we all do think of them as our own, but we're not doing it out. 

Paige Dixon 47:23
Of. 

Kayla Deickman 47:25
Because I want sure control the control. We're doing it out of love because we love all these kids and we want to make sure that they're safe and happy and healthy. 

Paige Dixon 47:33
And. 

Kayla Deickman 47:34
There's not a out of this group, there is not a friend that I wouldn't drop my child off to if there was an emergency and know that my kids are like they're absolutely without a doubt going to be taken care of. They'll get all the hugs and the kisses and the love and that if there's a situation, then that I might not be able to give them at the time. But I also know that in the grand scheme of life, my friends will give back my children. Where is when I lost this other friendship? I was concerned because she was the emergency contact for my kids for years with school stuff and I had to go into the school. When I got the forms back and I was like, I absolutely have. You have to have you change us? Because on the grants, if she gets a phone call, even though we're not friends, I'm not going to be comfortable enough for her to ever pick them up, even if it works. Me Even if it were a life or death situation, I'd be concerned. And so. 

Paige Dixon 48:35
I. 

Kayla Deickman 48:36
These other women are definitely who I needed to be or who I needed to be with. Now, in this stage of my. 

Paige Dixon 48:44
Life, you've got your village. Yeah, You build a village and you know that support is extremely important for you and your and your children. I remember that I'm an empty nester now, but those those were good times. And I'll never. 

Rich Bennett 49:01
Be an empty nester. 

Paige Dixon 49:04
Really. 

Rich Bennett 49:05
My daughter, I'm still trying to find a convent for but 22. But yeah, I don't think she'll. 

Paige Dixon 49:14
Yeah. And she's 22, but yes, I'm. 

Rich Bennett 49:16
Fine with that. If she wants to stay here. 

Kayla Deickman 49:19
That's how I feel about my kids right now. Stay with me forever. Yeah, fine. I love you guys. My neighbor, actually, her oldest child, just moved out, and he is not much. I think he's actually older than I am. And I started his own family and but her other children are all in their twenties, mid probably mid twenties now. My brother is 22 and lives with my mom and I was like, you know, he might not ever move out. And I don't think she'd have it up any other way at this point. There might be jokes here or there. 

Paige Dixon 49:56
But I. 

Kayla Deickman 49:58
I just don't see it. 

Paige Dixon 49:59
Yeah, I, I don't always want better for our kids than what we have gone through. And you know, now that you know, I'm hearing Kosta, you know, I, I constantly had the conversation. Yeah. So I, now that you know, we all with my girls of you, you need to go, you need to go and explore. You can always come back. I will always get to you. I am always still the phone call after work and you can talk to me on the way home. You know you're not. I can get to you in just a few hours, but I want them to go see the world. You know, I'm my. My outlook is very different being here. I do feel Americans kind of got it all wrong as far as, you know, we need to when you're out here and that this is out here, it can be anywhere. It can be wherever, wherever. But when you're here and you're talking to people and you're the only one from the United States and my friends are from Germany, they're from Czech, they're from you know, I have girlfriends here. They're all over. I'm the only one from the United States. You get a better perspective? Oh, yeah. I can only speak English. I can only speak English. English to them is their third language, you know? So it's just but they need to go see that. They need to try different foods. You know, where I am right now is called the blue zone. There are seven blue zones in the entire world and Costa Rica is one of them, which means they have kind of mastered the idea of living longer, living healthier. Things are just so much more peaceful here, you know? And when I leave here, you know, I'm here for three months. When I leave, I'm always like, I need to stay where I am. I need to stay present. I come back to the States and within a week I'm back to the hustle and bustle. I'm back to feeling like I got more than one thing going on. I got, you know, So it's it's this thing where I want my girls to go, experience all of it and come back if you want to. But I just it's just a better living when you taste different foods and you meet different people and I am like, this is a crazy thing. This is a crazy thing. If you would have asked me this when my girls were eight and four, I would have thought I was the worst mom in the world. Someone's like, Yes, you're going to go to Costa Rica. You're going to live your leave your kids. You're going to. And I was like, You're a horrible mother. Like, why? What mother would do that? And now I'm here, like, speaking the complete opposite because I'm I want this for my kids. I don't want. 

Rich Bennett 52:44
So you know what you're trying to tell us. Pages. You found the fountain of youth down there because you still look like you're 21. So spending three months there are. You know. 

Paige Dixon 52:56
I don't know about that. I'm in my 50, so, you know, I would look so. But thank you. 

Rich Bennett 53:03
Thank you. I feel like I mean, I'm 75 years old right now. 

Paige Dixon 53:08
Yeah. You and you don't look a day past 29. I know. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like I want my kids to go experience all the experience, the languages, the food, you know? But. But again let's. Let's clarify. Every parent is very different. And, you know, we all parent a little differently, right? Wrong or and different. You know, a lot of our parenting is because we were taught, you know, blah, blah, blah. You know, So, you know, it's it's sometimes a no judgment zone unless you're like your friend that you walked away from your that one and you feel danger for your own kids. But, you know, it's it's I think every parent parents definitely I went to school for 25 years which was it was a preschool. So I worked a lot with families. So I get the different parenting skills, you know? Yeah. 

Kayla Deickman 54:04
And absolutely, like, my husband and I are actually very laid back parents. We're one of. 

Paige Dixon 54:10
The one. 

Kayla Deickman 54:11
Of the ones that they say. 

Paige Dixon 54:12
We're so off topic, by the way, it just hit me. 

Kayla Deickman 54:15
We are 

my husband and I are so laid back and I my other friends are some of them are very strict parents and they'll come over and it'll be it's like, Oh, wow, your children are allowed to play on the computer. Yeah. And I'm like, Yeah. And they regulate themselves. I, I have to do very little to actually intervene. Yeah. And my children are well-behaved and I'm all for like if your parenting style works for you, as long as there's no, you know, dangerous harm coming to kids. 

Paige Dixon 54:50
Yeah, that's the thing. 

Kayla Deickman 54:51
I won't ever intervene. 

Paige Dixon 54:54
But circling back around as moms, like, that's what we need to remember, that it needs to be a no judgment zone. And if they're overstressed or overworked or overwhelmed, they know that we've been there, too. I've loved being. I love being a mom. It's my favorite thing, too. But there's also days where I will honestly say I didn't like it, you know, And I'm sure they didn't like me being their mom, you know? So, I mean, we need I'm so happy that we're now in a place in time where we can say that there is a. 

Kayla Deickman 55:27
I'm. 

Paige Dixon 55:28
Yeah, there was a time where we couldn't. And that's another kind of circling back around and kind of getting back on topic, you know, with the women's group and, you know, doing all that. It's like, I want them to speak that way. I want them to say I don't like being a mom right now, you know, blah, blah, blah. You know? And we're like, Oh my gosh, I've been there, you know, like we need to very openly and honestly talk that way, you know, or, you know, you know, the you know, we also have to remember, too, that there are women out there that choose not to be moms. And that's perfectly fine, too, in so many ways. I admire that for them to not fall back to the way the world used to be when it was expected to be a mom. So no judgment. 

Kayla Deickman 56:13
And being women is. 

Paige Dixon 56:15
Is. 

Kayla Deickman 56:17
Every every woman is different in their own way. I have friends who don't ever want to have kids. I've got friends with more than one child. I have young parents and then older parents who are. 

Paige Dixon 56:27
All. 

Kayla Deickman 56:27
Due in the toddler stage with. Yeah. 

Paige Dixon 56:30
Yeah. 

Kayla Deickman 56:31
And my my favorite phrase and I might get some flack for it but I you know, no judgment for myself at this point is you don't always have to like your kids. They don't always have to like you. But you do have to love them. Yeah. And loving them is the most important thing you can do. There are right ways to love people and wrong ways to love them. But as a whole, as long as you are doing the best. 

Paige Dixon 57:00
Yeah, that's. That's honest talk. That's honest talk. And that is where it's so amazing that where we're at right now, like our our moms can never speak that way. Everything was great. The house is put together. I've got the fence and the dog and no matter how stressed I am, I can never appear that I'm stressed. You know, there's a lot of women that feel that. And we are breaking barriers. We are breaking barriers. And the really exciting thing is, is that we're breaking barriers for our kids now. Like my mom's a wonderful mom, but because we're she was raised in the generation she was raised, I had to learn a lot of things on my own and in embarrassing moments, you know, and, you know, so when I raised my girls, I'm like, okay, girls, I know this is an uncomfortable conversation, but we're going to have it. Because when I had to learn it on my own, you know, and we're breaking barriers that way. And it's it's amazing to to do that. And again, that's what I hope to bring to the girls group. And what's awesome about this girls group, too, is that, you know, it's hard for me to get into school systems and stuff because we do talk age appropriately, but we do talk about social media dangerous. We do go there with trafficking, we do go there with body image. We do we say the things that you can't say in a school classroom. And it's an it's important because they already know it. You know, we're just too exacting. They're language. 

Kayla Deickman 58:26
You're you're not limiting the resources that you're given. 

Paige Dixon 58:29
We're showing them. 

Kayla Deickman 58:30
Support sources that are limited and. 

Paige Dixon 58:32
We want them to learn from us, not the friends sitting next to them at their desk. You know, so exact, you know, that we all did. You know, my one girlfriend? I told her when she was we're in third grade. She get pregnant if someone brushes their hand across her stomach. And she was like terrified for a year. I told her that. And it's so funny. We still talk about that. Yeah, but, you know, I always said that. But like I told her that, like, Oh, yeah, that's how you get pregnant. And, you know, she needed a mom to say, you know, let's have a seat and sit down here, honey. Yeah, but, but anyway, you know, I was saying so, you know, it's, it's, it's empowering. And if if we can be the best versions of ourselves, it's a trickle down, you know? And it's a trickle down effect to the children. We work with our nieces, our own children, you know, And in boys, too, I would love to get more with boys, you know, having girls and being a girl, it's just an easier conversation for me to have. 

Kayla Deickman 59:34
So in my next book, which is I love my family, it talks about the families that we might meet in our communities, different kinds of families. One, the things that I love is I have a couple boys in there that might have like some sparkly pants, love them dancing their parents. And I because I my sister used to call them broccoli issues but they that they she couldn't pronounce. Oh, they were her sparkly shoes. 

Paige Dixon 1:00:06
So that was. 

Kayla Deickman 1:00:07
My idea for these pants where you know they were broccoli pants. 

Paige Dixon 1:00:12
I love that. 

Kayla Deickman 1:00:13
But like I'm I talk because I talk to children and I do go into schools and I talk in an educational setting. This book is a hard topic, like I won't be allowed to bring this book into schools. I'm fully aware of that. In fact, there are several states I probably can't bring this up. 

Paige Dixon 1:00:29
If Kentucky so frustrated. 

Kayla Deickman 1:00:31
But my my goal behind it was it's still going to be out there so that a child who may need the resource now has access somewhere in the world with this book that they can be like that's like my family and then be able to see the other families in their communities that are we're all more alike than we like to think. And even with our differences with the main concept being the love around our families and how we love them. But I like to give resources that, you know, a school, my school, some schools don't even like my books now because their pastel colors don't have any idea about that. But that was a reasoning I was given, which is silly because if you limit the resources for these kids or they're going to learn it from little Jimmy next. 

Paige Dixon 1:01:24
Door up. 

Kayla Deickman 1:01:25
And then they're going to have misinformation that's going to cause some problems. 

Paige Dixon 1:01:30
Yup. 

Kayla Deickman 1:01:31
Whether that be fear like you had mentioned with your friend or I mean, it could potentially put them in a dangerous situation. Like we talk all the time about stranger danger and we need to have these conversations about stranger danger online. We need to have these conversations about, you know, we all know don't get in the van if they're offering you puppies. But what if they've been talking to you and are some type of predator that you've known? 

Paige Dixon 1:01:59
Yeah, the grooming and the grooming, right? Yeah. That that part, you know, especially talking to girls and boys as well that, you know, I talk to the girls. It's. Yeah, it's listening to your, you know, your intuition. Yeah. You know, sometimes we don't, you know, they don't know about, hey, this doesn't feel right. Like, like they don't even they don't know that yet. They don't, they don't know. 

Kayla Deickman 1:02:24
Especially on the age group themselves. 

Paige Dixon 1:02:27
Absolutely. 

Kayla Deickman 1:02:28
And I know early elementary my my seven year old has no intuition. What What about her? She has that she has not known. 

Paige Dixon 1:02:39
How old is she? 

Kayla Deickman 1:02:40
Seven. And I've got an almost nine year old who does and who is very costly. She is a naturally cautious person, but she is cautious. She knows like I'm not going to period blank talk to a stranger unless they have some type of safety uniform on or they or somebody my mom said that I can talk to because we have employees that are in our family. So my kids are familiar with uniforms, like specific uniforms. But that's that's how we point them out. And we all we also say that not everybody in a uniform is a safe person, but nine times out of ten they are. 

Paige Dixon 1:03:19
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just it's it's it's about planting. Planting those seeds. So God forbid something happens and planting seeds starts, you know, probably when they're about two. Yep. You know, and then you just go on up. I think I still need plants, plant seeds myself, you know? So we're always learning and and remembering. And, you know, I've got an amazing she's my sister from another Mr.. My name is Mary. It wasn't a C McGee Lisa Green. I don't know if anybody's ever seen her. She is a great one to have on this podcast. She's brilliant. I know. She's absolutely brilliant. She is my sister from a mr. Growing up in Brooklyn. She writes books as well. She's just her and I are the same person really. And you know, she is the one that really planted in me where we all go through these things to learn from and to do better. Like I'm using those where it's like she planted those seeds in me three years ago and I'm using it, you know, like, yeah, So we're all like learning and growing and then, you know, it's just, it's a beautiful thing. You know? And the other thing, too, I just want to point out with, you know, today is to get the message out that there is help. There is support. Look, we got this women's group, we got a girls group. We've got you in books. You know, we've got I mean, it is it's out there. We got to reach more families to know that it's out there just in this conversation. They can you know, I have clients that I speak to on these issues where I as a life, I have women and children, clients, just one on one sessions, you know, But sometimes, you know, sometimes a mom might want to just pick up a book and read to children. So right here in today's talk, we can show people out there that there's ways to give support. 

Kayla Deickman 1:05:20
And that's what I strive to do. And I know you guys strive to do every day. I love that knowing that I didn't have the resources growing up, that I was able to become that resource and be able to share these topics and talk to these families. When I do go out and I do public speaking, it's it's one of the ways that I truly feel like I can give back because kids will occasionally approach me and I know that they know that they're not alone. 

Paige Dixon 1:05:49
Yeah. 

Kayla Deickman 1:05:49
And that's such a wonderful feeling to know that you can help. Yes. And then those kids, you never know. They could go out and then tell their friends like, I love your hair. It's unique to you. 

Paige Dixon 1:06:01
Pay it forward. Exact words of kindness. We we talk about that all the time. Rich knows this story, but super quick. I did it my very first event with our village is I did a girls festival with 75 girls and had speakers. And it was it was amazing. And three days later I got an anonymous email from a mom that had said on the way home, her daughter shared that she was plotting her death. How? And she reached out and she knew she needed help. And then it was at that moment when I read that that our village wellness was born like we we need to spread, you know, a high school coach, field hockey coach for a steamboat right in Bel Air for nine years. So I worked a lot coaching to be You're not just a coach, you're you're another mom, you're an aunt, you're an older sister. You're so many, you wear so many hats. And I take that position very seriously. But even working with those girls you hear a lot and owning a school, you hear you become a counselor to the parents. You hear a lot a lot of fears, a lot of that. You know, we just we got to get out there and just give the support where it's needed. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:16
Absolutely. So, first of all, ladies and I want to start with Kayla. Kayla, tell everybody where they can get your books, because I know from talking to you, looking at the books, I know they can help a lot of people to. 

Paige Dixon 1:07:33
Absolutely. 

Kayla Deickman 1:07:34
They can either find them on my website, which is let me look it up. 

Paige Dixon 1:07:40
No, it's cartel. 

Kayla Deickman 1:07:41
Something and website name. 

Rich Bennett 1:07:44
Not that cartel. 

Kayla Deickman 1:07:45
Yeah, it's. 

Paige Dixon 1:07:49
I was all in and I love those Netflix movies. I'm on the coast. There's good cartels here. I love cartel. 

Kayla Deickman 1:07:56
Stories. It is called children's books at big cartel dot com and they can find both my current books that are out and then they can find my next book that's out and they can also find my little brain plushie if they so wish to take a look. Brian Yes, he a great fidget toy and he's a perfect size to hug and squeeze. 

And for you you can also find them on my Facebook page, which is called Children's Books. And it's also a positive, a net positive mental health Facebook page. Feel free to post on it and talk about mental health. I encourage that. It's not just I don't have it just to share about my books. I don't have that many books out to share. So yeah, I like to hear what other people talk about as well. 

Paige Dixon 1:08:49
So yeah, I love Page. 

Rich Bennett 1:08:52
What's your website and how do you know? Especially lady's getting in touch for this group. 

Paige Dixon 1:08:58
Yeah, so there's a couple different ways. Our village wellness info is one way, but not really. Mostly on my Facebook page. I have a Facebook. My personal Facebook page is just page Dixon. You can find me there. So and you can also find me on our women's empowerment group Facebook page. I can also invite you into our we have a Facebook messaging group where it has the 5056 women on there that I update you on. Our new events that we got going on right now. Like I had mentions got spill the tea getting ready to come up open around roundtable discussions. We have the book club that is getting ready to begin. We also will have an in those both virtually we have an in-person coming up in March. I have a spring gala coming up in April and I'm also for the first time doing a women's retreat, a weekend away of diving deeper into ourselves all from my great my great friend Kelly, who revamps beautiful homes in the Susquehanna. So we are going to use her. 

Rich Bennett 1:10:18
Who. 

Paige Dixon 1:10:18
Huh? 

Rich Bennett 1:10:19
Kelly? Who? 

Paige Dixon 1:10:20
Well, I see. I call her Duncan. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:10:23
So, yeah, yeah. It's all about. 

Paige Dixon 1:10:24
Yeah. Awesome. She's yeah. So when I talked about coach you, she, I coached her in high school. Her kids have been through my preschool. She owns Lennar back in Hartford County. Oh. Before. Oh, she had two then. She's incredible. She's, she's another sole sister of mine. But yeah, we got, we were going to do a weekend retreat and coming up in February, the first time I am beginning a girls group called GLOW. So got a lot going on. But finding me mostly on social media, 

Facebooking me and my Facebook front, my Facebook group 

of women's empowerment. 

Kayla Deickman 1:11:05
I just sent you a friend request, so make sure you accept that I. 

Paige Dixon 1:11:08
Wrote a letter telling you I am accepting it. Yeah, you and I. This is a neat connection. It's we're going to do good things together. I just know it. Thank you for putting us together. 

Rich Bennett 1:11:18
Page, You just said something I've never heard before. 

Paige Dixon 1:11:23
Oh, gosh. 

Rich Bennett 1:11:24
Facebook and. 

Paige Dixon 1:11:26
Facebooking me. Oh, really? 

Rich Bennett 1:11:28
Yeah. So never heard anybody say, Oh, you're going to be Facebook me or what? 

Paige Dixon 1:11:32
You know what? You know, it's so funny. I create my own words and I don't even realize this. It's it's the weirdest. And people are like, What? I'm like, Yeah, you don't know that. 

Rich Bennett 1:11:41
Hey, like, if you said it, it's a word, right? 

Paige Dixon 1:11:44
It's absolutely a word. That's so funny. You say that joke catches me all the time and I'm like, I don't know why I do that. 

Rich Bennett 1:11:52
I think my daughter, she said, That's not a word. If I said it, it's a word absolutely. Like it came out of my mouth. You understood what I said It's a word, plain and simple. 

Paige Dixon 1:12:04
Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:12:05
Kayla Page, I want to thank you both so much. Page, whenever. Get up here for a while, let me know. I would like to get to know you, Kayla, when all of you together and just do a big roundtable in person. 

Paige Dixon 1:12:21
Yeah, let's do it. I know we keep talking about it. We got. We definitely need me to do that. I know you. 

Rich Bennett 1:12:28
Come up, you come up, and don't tell me you come up until after you leave. And there's like, Oh, I was just up there. Why don't you call me? 

Paige Dixon 1:12:33
I know I need to do. Now's the time when I'm, like, riding up to Harper County. Now it's for either a women's group event or to see my family. So numerous calls that I didn't even talk about that. Can I have my tell you of Cinderella's closet real quick? 

Rich Bennett 1:12:49
No. Oh, go ahead. 

Paige Dixon 1:12:52
I know. I'm like, I'm going to kick myself. I would hang up. I'm like, we need put me back on. So Cinderella's closet is getting ready to come up next month again on my Facebook page from page to February. Yep. Yep. You can check out my feed, my personal Facebook page. You're welcome to. It's also we have Cinderella's Closet Facebook page. This is an amazing one day event. Last year we did do it too. We are doing one day event where women have 

donated dresses, shoes, purses, what have you to donate to girls who cannot afford their prom dress. We literally take a gymnastics room and we turn it into a boutique where the girls walk in and there's balloons. They are made to feel very beautiful. We applaud them when they find their dress or they say yes to their dress. We also have a wish list, an Amazon wish list right now that we definitely can use some help in 

in our donations. We need to put together this event. It's completely just volunteer. Like I said, it's one day. It's a beautiful thing. Last year I think I needed two days to recover. I was so emotionally drained from all the beautiful stories we were told and seeing these amazing, I would say amazing. But then we had we had women that came in from ARC. We had women that were disabled. They have a prom. So they came in and got their prom dresses. We, you know, so we don't want to limit and just say, you know, young girls and whoever is can't afford a dress, 

you know, please, please come. So I'll put more information out on the Harvard County Living page out there, too. I do. I always put stuff on you. Okay. 

Rich Bennett 1:14:54
Oh, know, on me. 

Paige Dixon 1:14:56
Not on. 

Rich Bennett 1:14:57
The group. It's not. I'll. 

Paige Dixon 1:14:59
Never mind. Yeah, There you go. You can come. A Cinderella. Oh, you came last year. You came inside, saw me. 

Rich Bennett 1:15:06
Okay. You're going to have people thinking that I came as Cinderella. 

Paige Dixon 1:15:09
I know what you did. You sang. 

Rich Bennett 1:15:10
I came as your Prince Charming, and you told me to take a hike. 

Paige Dixon 1:15:15
I did not. But I love that I did not. But you did come and. And I appreciate. 

Rich Bennett 1:15:21
That. Oh, yeah. So my wife saw that you were doing that because she told me she goes, You have to take these two page boys never even met you. 

Paige Dixon 1:15:29
Now you have to meet me there. 

Rich Bennett 1:15:32
I said, Okay. 

Paige Dixon 1:15:32
Well, yeah, I need to meet her. Yeah, it's it's an amazing event. So. Yeah. So I'll put some information out. Okay, everybody. 

Rich Bennett 1:15:43
Send me whatever you can. 

Paige Dixon 1:15:44
I will. Definitely. 

Rich Bennett 1:15:46
Thank you both once again. Love you both. God can't wait to see Paige. Can't wait to see you in person. So we could do this again. Roundtable. Kayla, I'm going to be seeing you. 

Paige Dixon 1:15:57
Next week in person. Oh, jealous? And remember this. If you. If you know of a woman that needs support from other women, please tell them about the group. Tell them they're welcome. Anyone is welcome to come, You know, invite as many women as possible. You know, it's it's a good thing.