Robert White's Philosophy on Life and Success

In this episode, Rich Bennett sits down with Robert White, a figure of resilience and transformation. From his early start in radio to his profound impact in the training and development industry, White shares his life's philosophy and the pivotal moments that shaped his journey. He delves into the significance of embracing one's worth and the power of an extraordinary life, offering listeners an inspiring narrative on overcoming adversity and achieving success.

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Rich Bennett 0:00
Thanks for joining the conversation. Today, we have a truly extraordinary guest with us from a humble beginning, facing adversities like poverty and health challenges to founding and leading to high impact learning companies with over a million graduates. Robert White's journey is nothing short of inspiring. He's not just a successful entrepreneur, but also a best selling author, mentor to executives, and a passionate advocate for personal and organizational leadership with a lifetime dedicated to understanding the dynamics of leading teams, families and communities, which we need more. People like that. Robert brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to our conversation today. So whether it is his early days in radio, his best selling live in an extraordinary life or his commitment to making a positive impact in the world, Robert's story is a testament to resilience, determination and the pursuit of an extraordinary life. So please join me in welcoming Robert White to the show. Robert, first of all, welcome. And I got to ask you right off the bat, how long were you in radio for? 

Robert White 1:12
I started as a control engineer at age 14. 

Rich Bennett 1:17
Really? 

Robert White 1:18
By the time I was 17, I had the number one rated show in the state of Wisconsin, the top 40 thing. But that's my audience, right? Teenagers. I was one. So. Well, yeah. 

Rich Bennett 1:30
We all were. But I think I could have been the oldest teenager, so. 

Robert White 1:35
But I left. I left radio at 22. So I guess eight years. 

Rich Bennett 1:41
At 22. Yes. So I got to ask because, I mean, I was in radio, too, but I wanted to see why you left. 

Robert White 1:50
I saw behaviors around me, Rich, that I couldn't process and I didn't approve of. And it's not like I'm some prude or, you know, like I'm a Christian, but I don't go to church as an example right then and now. And. But I saw things that disturbed me. Second thing was that, you know, the money and radio by that time for me was in writing a of me because you get paid every time that commercial ran and I was doing very well with that. Had done a couple of successful commercials and I started making more money than the station manager. And so they cut my commission. And when they the combination of what I was seeing around me in terms of the behavior of other announcers and the staff and plus getting my commission cut, I went, I don't think this is an industry for me. Yeah. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 2:50
I mean, I 

the one thing I didn't like about it when I was in it was the fact that you're like a robot. I couldn't even use my own name. You're told what to say, when to say what to play, when to play it. The most fun I had was actually the one station that I interned at, which was an oldie station. And I did all request show on Sundays of a guy and that I loved. I liked the fact that if somebody calls up for a song, you can play it because then you save your times for your commercials and everything and you got to be exact, and that's when you really learn how to talk up a song and so forth. But I just I had more fun deejaying in the clubs and doing weddings. And actually, I'll be I'm getting ready tomorrow. I'm deejay in my last wedding. So I've been doing this since 1986. And tomorrow will finally be the last one. 

Robert White 3:46
Congratulations. 

Rich Bennett 3:49
I I'm getting told to carry that equipment, Robert. You know, I mean, that stuff's heavy. 

Robert White 3:56
Well, I'm. Look, it would take a psychologist and a couch to fully explain what I'm about to say, But radio is very good for me. Yeah, And and I'm. I'm so grateful for having had that opportunity. It led to an opening for me and my life and got me out of poverty. You know, I out earned my father and and when I was 17 years old and was while a father had died by then and I was supporting my family, I mean, there's just all kinds of benefits to it. I learned I just learned so much. It opened up the world to me. 

Rich Bennett 4:35
Yeah. I think one of the biggest things I learned from it because I was on the air and then the last station I worked at, I was doing sales, but I did sales at other stations too, and I did learn a lot from sales, even, you know, even though I got my degree was in radio. One of the things they taught us from sales in and right and copy and all that and that part I loved it just getting out and meeting people, you know, which is, which was a blast. Now, you you made more money than your father at 17. 

Robert White 5:12
Yes. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 5:13
Wow. So if you don't mind me asking, what was it that your father did? 

Robert White 5:19
Well, that story is that I was born into the. The wealthiest. I mean, you know, upper middle class, but wealthiest family in town and in West Virginia. My father drilled for oil. He had five rings. He had nice little company. And we were the successful family in town. And he hit five straight dry holes 

while he had natural gas, which today would make us a billionaire. But at that time, natural gas, you know, you couldn't transport it. You couldn't know about liquefied it and all that stuff. And it crushed him Rich. I he jumped into a bottle and became an alcoholic and also retreated from our own from our family. 

And then he sold those five rigs to our company in Wisconsin. And I saw I ended up in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Was he supervised the drilling of the industrial water well that serves the city of Green Bay to this day? Oh, wow. Yeah. And so he then became a supervisor for that company that he sold the rigs to and worked all over the Midwest. And but we stayed in Green Bay, even though he was somewhere else every week. And that's right. So that's that's how I, I, I've often said that I had a pretty rough time growing up My, my father I only had one conversation with my father in 14 years that he was alive and well. You now most most therapists don't believe it, but it's true. And that was a critical conversation. My mother took me to him and force him to talk to me. But and then she was angry, violent. She had a bunch of kids calling me, but she didn't seem to like kids very much. So it was a rough beginning. And radio was my safe space. Yeah, you know, it was it was a really healthy, good thing. 

Rich Bennett 7:24
How many kids? I mean, how many siblings do you have? 

Robert White 7:27
Well, my mother was was married three times and widowed three times. The. 

Rich Bennett 7:33
Oh, wow. Okay. 

Robert White 7:34
The joke was it was her cooking. 

I couldn't imagine. You know, I couldn't pass that up. But it's true. She was a lousy cook. 

And so I was in the I was the oldest child in the third family. My father ran the other the two kids from the previous marriages off when I was five years old. I became the oldest in the family. And then I had two younger brothers and a younger sister. So. Okay. I also I learned later that I had a twin who died at birth. So? So. Oh, wow. Messed up family. But the experience, like, if you go to those kinds of family dynamics seminars and learn about this stuff, I had the experience of being the oldest child, the one people counted on. 

Rich Bennett 8:25
Wow. Well, I was going to say, and here you are, you started working in 14 and you were well, I mean, you were basically making the money for the family, too. 

Robert White 8:35
Yeah. 17. And, you know, when you're on the wrong side of the tracks and living in the even though the early days of radio didn't pay well and I didn't have you know, if you're not on the air, you're not out getting the deejay jobs and your own room. But even that small amount at 14, 15, 16 years old was helpful. Right. You know, my father left my mother with no money. And so it was a tough time financially. But then, you know, when you start getting popular, people who pay you all and also, you know, honestly, rap ship, these were the payola days, you know? Yeah, I was getting tips, you know, to put something on there and. 

Rich Bennett 9:26
Oh, okay. 

Robert White 9:28
And fortunately, the limited options on prosecution served me. So I can now tell you that I, 

I didn't see it as anything wrong, you know? And I mean, yeah, I was a teenager and here's this very slick guy and girl or girl offering me money to put a pretty good record on the air. 

Rich Bennett 9:51
So 

I. So any songs that we made? No. 

Robert White 9:59
You know, I don't remember the ones specifically that I got. 

Rich Bennett 10:02
Or bands. 

Robert White 10:03
I got paid for. But 

there was I'm thinking of Del Shannon was a O an early rock and roller. I'm trying to remember the name of the record, and I remember it for two reasons. One is I got paid to play it, but the other one was what they would do is this on the day of 45 RPMs, you know, that's how kids write. Kids bought singles and so they would give you a box of 25 or two boxes, 50 to give away as a deejay. And that's one of the reasons you got hired as a deejay, is you gave away a lot of records, you know? Yeah. And this one, there was a lot of drinking at this dance and deejay thing that I did. And I was, you know, my team was handing out these these 40 fives and the drunks in the back of the room started sailing them back at me. 

Oh, wow. Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 10:59
Wow. 

Robert White 11:00
So I remember Del Shannon's Runaround Sue, I think, was the name of the record, if I recall. But, you know, I remember ducking those things coming from out of the dark, you know? Wow. That it was fun. 

Rich Bennett 11:16
So for those of you listening, Robert and I go back to our days of radio. We had 45 hours, which was a record 33 and a thirds, and of course, reel to reel tapes and court what was it? Yeah, courts, which look like a track tape, Right? 

Robert White 11:35
Then we got carts. That was a big cart. Yeah. You're just on tape. 

Rich Bennett 11:42
And the thing is, back then when you had to put something, you had to edit something. There was nothing. You had to computer where you could drag little files around and cut and cut. No, we had the reel to reel tape where we had to cut and. 

Robert White 12:00
Cut on a 45 degree angle and. 

Rich Bennett 12:03
Oh, man. 

Robert White 12:04
And be very, very precise. You know. 

Rich Bennett 12:07
Anybody that gets it, the radio should be trained that way. 

Robert White 12:10
We are limiting our audience here to two oxygen 

to old people. We probably should talk a lot more current. 

Rich Bennett 12:23
But, you know, here's the funny thing. So I'm actually one of my sponsors, a local radio station here, College Station, HFC, They have a couple of shows on where they're still using the records and everything. There's the young lady, Joyce Conroy, does the Saturday night block party. You know, there's it's I'm sorry, there's just no better sound than Vine or. 

Robert White 12:51
Vinyls. 

Rich Bennett 12:51
And you're it's making a comeback. People are still buying it. My daughter's got several vinyl records. 

Robert White 12:59
And I'm very has a huge collection. 

Rich Bennett 13:03
Oh, I never got rid of mine. I still got all mine there. Unfortunately, some of them got ruined when the water heater went up because like a dummy, I left them on the floor, stored on the floor, not in boxes. And so anyways, that's another story, 

something I and this is what gets me. Something happened when you were younger, right? It was. You have one heart attack or was it. 

Robert White 13:34
I had three one at 19. 

Rich Bennett 13:37
Three heart. 

Robert White 13:38
Attacks, one at 19 one, two, 21 and one at 23. So wow, part of my history also. 

Rich Bennett 13:47
But I mean, that's young. That's well, I mean, you're hearing about it more but that that was in your family history was heart attacks that they you. 

Robert White 13:57
Know it they never really found out the source I have I do have nerve damage on the surface of my heart. That's the issue. It's called. Oh, okay. Bundle branch. And it comes most commonly back in those days from rheumatic fever, which damages the heart tissue. But to my knowledge and my family's knowledge, I never had rheumatic fever. I did have a severe case of measles, of all things, when I was five years old. And they you know, they predict that or they assume that that's that's what caused the damage. You know, I went I went after that. I went until I was 27 years old. I had daily chest pain. And I was told that I would not live past 35, which really affected a lot of things in my life, even though I, you know, I was conscious of that impact, that judgment, that death sentence had on me. But it did have a huge impact on me. And I got into the training business, my business, because at 27, a friend convinced me to go to one of the early human potential movement trainings, and I was living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin by then. And I and he went out to California and did this crazy training and he came back and I started seeing the results on him right away. But I it every time I would ask him about this training and the more he told me about it, the less I wanted to go, you know, because it just sounded so strange to me. This experiential training and where they focused on how to breathe and all kinds of crazy California things, you know. 

Rich Bennett 15:43
Okay. 

Robert White 15:44
And but I watched him. I watched his life changed. I watched we had similar businesses. I saw his get better. Mine was flatlined. I have this guy had an interesting fit. Speaking of physical things, we all know about acne. If you're 13, 14 years old, you think your life's going to end because you have a pimple or time. And but what I didn't know about was adult onset acne is actually a very serious facial disease that some people have. And he had it and he was in sales and he did all these different I'm, you know, my friendship with him. He tried all these different things, including facial abrasion, you know, where they grind your skin off. He looked like what? Yeah, he looked like the butt of one of those monkeys you see at the zoo with the red shoes. So I was terrible. And bothered him a lot. And, you know, it destroyed his confidence in some ways. 

Rich Bennett 16:43
Right. Well, I can understand why. 

Robert White 16:45
Yeah. So he comes back morning as business gets better, his marriage gets better and his face grows up 

Watching this, I'm saying, no, no, no, no. But I'm watching his life change in front of me. And finally, I grudgingly decided to go to the training for days, and I went in with my arms crossed, probably my eyes crossed, my legs crossed, you know, negative, cynical. All right. And and four days later, my life changed forever. And that led to my business tripling in size the following year and went up ten times the second year. I started making more money per month than I had ever made in a year. And 

and I started putting people in that training because it worked for me. I didn't understand it, but it worked. It just worked so well. And and then I sold that business. I became a sales consultant based on that success. And I started putting I went from working with 31 people that was my company to working with 850 in New York City. And you can't do interviews with 850 people, which is how I ran my previous company was one on one. You know, I interviewed everybody but 

and I started doing weekend seminars for that gang. 

Rich Bennett 18:17
And right. 

Robert White 18:18
I started bringing in that in the New York version of that same training was called Mind Dynamics. And this this woman came in and did an hour and a half during the weekend, which gave me a nice break. But also she was exposing them to an idea that had worked for me. So then I would get up on the stage and say, You guys got to do this training. Well, 400 people went to the training because of that. And right over time, you know, over that six month period. And so they found out about me. And that sub became an important part of my story because one day the founder of that company minded Amex, Alexander Everett, called me. I didn't even know his name or I was existence. I didn't know anything. Yeah. And he called and introduced himself, said thank you, you know, because I'd put a lot of students in his training. And then he said that he wanted to meet me. And so then I got to fly first class for the first time in my life from New York to San Francisco. And I got picked up by a Rolls Royce and, you know, traded nine or five star hotel, all that stuff. And ten days later, I was president of Binded Amex. I took a huh, Yeah, I took a 70% pay cut and because I was just so curious about it. Yeah. And and I had nothing to do with the training. I just I ran the business of the business, which was a mess. Alexander Really. Alexander was a great teacher, and he had a great program. Not a business, not a business man. And so I had a lot of freedom and I learned a lot. I learned the training business. I was there for years, and when I left and started my own company, I got it's another place of gratitude for me to Alex's friend to that experience. 

Rich Bennett 20:22
So the what was the first company that you had when you first when you saw your friend going through this? 

Robert White 20:29
I was just a little sales business called Sales driving. 

Rich Bennett 20:32
Okay. 

Robert White 20:33
And it 

you know, I was late on payroll. I mean, it was I was really struggling and. Okay. And I had the daily chest pain. Oh, and, you know, on full self-disclosure, I had a teenage marriage met while I was deejaying, by the way. Really? You know, there was always that one girl, you know, that stood out, huh? Right. And just stared at you. And I felt rich. I felt horribly guilty about that. I felt disappointed in myself. And and that, you know, that the contemporary of Freud was this guy name Young J, u n, g and I people. I want to study a little bit about psychology. I think young is a better place to start than Freud. And Young says in one of his books. He says that the only purpose of an intimate relationship, a committed relationship, is to be a mirror for what is next for you. You know that if you've got to be there, if you've got a hole in you, it's going to show up in an intimate relationship. And even though I didn't have that language at that time in my twenties, that was true for me. I was the messed up kid who had been beaten, who had been abused, who had been neglected. And I want what I wanted from the woman in my life was to fill the hole in me and in a in a million years that doesn't happen. You know that. Yeah. Happen. But that's what that's where I was coming from. And so I felt guilty. I my health was terrible. My business was failing. So the impact of that training turned my life around in such a dramatic way that when I talk to people about it, I think, you know, it moved to them. Then they did training and then I got that job job, 

admittedly not profitable job, but you know, I did okay. And. Mm. Oh, and they bought me a car. So you know young guys by the young by a young guy, a nice car. And you got him right. 

And it's just an incredible experience. 

Rich Bennett 22:59
All right. So after Mindful Dynamics, I mean, you will back them. So you did all this training and then he calls you and you become president of Mindful Dynamics. Did the chest pains go away? 

Robert White 23:13
They went away 30 days after the training at 27. 

Rich Bennett 23:17
Really? Yeah. 

Robert White 23:18
They came back, frankly, at the time of a second divorce. But I knew what to do to stop them. 

Rich Bennett 23:27
Right. 

Robert White 23:28
I stopped them within a week or so. But yeah. And, and I can pass an EKG if it, if I do the full on stress EKG, it shows up. But like a typical life insurance exam, they don't even know I had three heart seizures. So, yeah, my my health changed. My money situation changed a bit of self-forgiveness changed. Right. And got me on a path of self growth and self-improvement and 

so I owe a lot to that mind dynamics experience. And then I learned the training business that Alexander's knee, but not that really the business part of it but right that the why the training worked and I eventually went through the instructor training. You know I never became an instructor, but I went through the training so I can better understand the business. And and then, you know, that company, the company situation changed and Alexander left and it was no longer good for me. So I quit. And then I founded this company called Life Springs. 

Rich Bennett 24:40
So I have to ask this, though. How was it that you were able to stop the chest pains within a week? 

Robert White 24:51
It's difficult to explain. Okay. Idea in the mind and I'm training. Is that the mind controls everything. So if you can get control of your mind, 

miracles can happen. So I spent I, I didn't believe it, but I thought the training that the trainer said on the last day pick one of these techniques that they've taught over the. Huh? Pick one of them that seems important to you and try it out. You know, kind of like, what have you got to lose? And I didn't I hadn't told anybody about the chest pain, you know? Right. But I certainly didn't tell anybody that I was on my way to dying early at all. Very secretive about it. So I spent 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening going into a state of deep relaxation. Today, they called meditation or meditation. 

Rich Bennett 25:51
Right. 

Robert White 25:51
Or prayer, you know, to use your label. But to actively imagine that I was and you use your hands and your right clothes to imagine. I mean, there's different ways to do it. In my case, it was using my fingers to fix that nerve tissue on the surface of my heart. 

I did that. Interesting. I did that for a week and the chest pain stopped something that I had lived with for at that point eight years. 

Rich Bennett 26:26
So it's almost like tapping without the tapping. 

Robert White 26:30
Yes. And by the way, that was a problem for minded Amish because the American Medical Association took them on at one point. That's not a good enemy to have, Right? 

Rich Bennett 26:44
Really? 

Robert White 26:45
Yeah, because they call it practicing medicine without a license. So. 

Rich Bennett 26:50
But wait a minute. Okay, This is I. This is where that stuff confuses me because they weren't giving you medicine, right? 

Robert White 26:59
No medicine worked. So. 

Rich Bennett 27:02
Right. So how can they say it's practice in medicine? That's what I never understood. 

Robert White 27:07
Anything that threatens anything that threatens pharmaceutical quality. You work in radio, where does the income come from? And TV today? About 80. Yeah, from pharmaceutical companies. So if the pharmaceutical company doesn't like you, you're in big trouble because that's true. You've got the leverage with media. So that yeah, that was a continuing problem for minded AMC's as they were being accused of that. And I had to deal with that as a business person. But the training, wow, that trend line dynamics and then the companies that came out of my dynamics included one called EST s t, which is now called Landmark Education. It's all over the world. Okay. Y offspring impact sci world. There's a whole bunch of companies that came out of mine dynamics that do amazing work in the world and and are very helpful. And it look it doesn't cure it isn't really aimed at curing disease or all of that stuff. It helps some people. It happened to help me, but for other people, relationships clear up, 

business gets more successful, you get more peace, you sleep better. There's just a whole lot of good things. And biggest thing, though, I think, is relationships. It helps clearing stuff that gets in the way of healthy relationships. 

Rich Bennett 28:33
And what's the name of your company now? 

Robert White 28:35
Well, my company now is extraordinary people. 

Rich Bennett 28:39
Extraordinary people, which I take it you came up with that after the book. 

Robert White 28:44
Or before the book That came up After the book. 

Rich Bennett 28:49
Okay. 

Robert White 28:49
I wrote the book. And then, you know, I started trying to brand that word extraordinary. So anyway, I but I started last spring. I really screwed up on how I set it up and I sold it after only six months to my staff and for for another round, nothing down and forever to pay. And they and the old joke, they took longer than forever to pay. And then I had this opportunity in Asia and I went off to Japan for a 90 day stay, ended up staying 12 years the first time for bit I. 

Rich Bennett 29:27
Don't blame you there. 

Robert White 29:28
Formed a company called Arc International and we went on to having 

seven training centers in Japan, two in Taiwan, one in Hong Kong, one in Gwangju, one in Manila, one in Seoul and one in Sydney. So we became the big Wow biggest training company in Asia and brought experiential education there 

and eventually 

I kind of quit, you know, typical entrepreneur hours. And you know, you work 24 seven, that kind of stuff, right? And, 

and, and then at 46 I kind of quit. I moved to Aspen, Colorado, built a big house, bought a jet, you know, did the rich guy, nouveau riche, you know, all the things, right? All the things you dream of. I did them all traveled with the late John Campbell for six months. I was on six nine boards. 

Rich Bennett 30:28
Where me? I'm sorry. Do you what you traveled with? Who? 

Robert White 30:32
John Denver. The singer? Yeah. 

Rich Bennett 30:37
Really? 

Robert White 30:38
Yeah. John had a 

nonprofit, which is how I got involved directly with him called Windstar, dedicated to great, sustainable environment. And we created a program based on the work of Bucky Fuller and his world game. We did an evening program three and a half hours and about creating a sustainable future. And so he would do a concert one night and then the next night we would do we would co-lead one of these events and get them all over the world. And that was a great experience. I was on six nonprofit boards. I remarried. I have four great kids, younger kids just need 80 days a year, You know, the good life. Wow. And lost control of my business. 

Rich Bennett 31:27
So anyway, they. How did you lose control of your business? 

Robert White 31:31
Look, if you are what I learned from that is, first of all, 90% of my business was in Asia. And I went there. Okay, I'd go there three times a year for ten days each time. And I was busy skiing. I was busy with with John. I was busy with raising my kids, having fun for the first time in my life. And I lost touch with my business. And in a business, if you in that kind of a business, all of your assets go home every night at 5:00. 

Oh, it's not property, it's not machinery. It's not, you know, steady customers. It's about new people doing the training every week, every day, every week. Right 

between my Spring and Ark, there's 1,300,000 graduates of those programs. So we did really, really well. And wow, served over 1800 corporations. But 

I think I'll use them a little trade talk here, Rich. 

Rich Bennett 32:38
Okay. 

Robert White 32:38
I've failed in continuing to be a source of energy in my company and if you're you've got to be a thought leader, if you're in that kind of business, you got to be out on the air, Right, Because that's what your people want. I had to agree. I had 230, 40 full time people in 15 training centers. And when you when the when the convert here's what I learned later unfortunately later is that the conversation about me became Robert is just a rich guy in Aspen and he got rich on our backs. 

Ouch. Ouch. There is some truth in it. 

Yeah. I'm sorry to say, 

of course, the story about me sleeping on someone's sofa in Tokyo for eight months, starting that business and not getting paid for two years. That story didn't get told. The story got told about the 14,500 square foot home in Aspen and the jet. Right. You know, and I'm the one that failed to tell this origin story and keep it alive. And I think one of my strengths, to be honest, is I'm I'm naturally kind of humble. I think that often comes out of kids that have been abused and know we think we're not worth anything. But that's a strength when you're dealing with high ego people. It was a strength in radio because everybody else wants to be a hero and all the attention and they want the applause. Yeah, And I didn't I wanted frankly, I wanted the money. 

You know, I've been in my situation with my family and we needed money. And this was right. And I love doing what I was doing. I love being on the air and and I love connecting with people in that way. But when I when I failed to work 24 seven and be on the scene and contributing to my own company, the stories started to be told. 

Rich Bennett 34:55
But it correct me if I'm wrong. During that time you said you're spent, you're able to spend time with your family and do things that you love to do right? 

Robert White 35:03
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 35:05
Which is something that you haven't been able to do. 

Robert White 35:07
That's why I chose not to do. 

Rich Bennett 35:11
So in my eyes. There's nothing wrong with what you did. Yeah, I do. Because you are finally taking care of the family. 

Robert White 35:20
Yeah, and I don't regret that. It was a magical 12 years in my life. I met some incredible people. I had some incredible experiences. I made contributions just that so much great company and I also did a lot of things for the company, but I didn't publicize it, you know, And and so I made a lot of mistakes in that regard. Cost me $30 million and starting over. So and that's that's what led to extraordinary people. 

Rich Bennett 35:52
I just think that in all honesty and you see this a lot was like CEOs and everything they they do, they focus the business. They focus on their employees and they forget to focus on the family. 

Robert White 36:08
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 36:10
And fair. You know, I was always family. God always come first, always come first. And one of the things my father always told me. 

Robert White 36:21
You know, if. 

Rich Bennett 36:24
You always got to take care of family but have fun at work, because if you're not having fun at work, then it's time to find something new. And he was a crane operator, Bethlehem Steel. But he loved what he did, you know, But he would whenever he wasn't working. Yes, he would take time. I remember going fishing and everything, you know, and he would coach baseball and stuff like that. And that's that's something that a lot of I want to say a lot of your CEOs don't really do. They don't they're not able to do. And then sometimes they do. But when they do it, it's fun. You know, the kids are like teenagers or young adults at that time, and they miss some of those very important times when they were very young. 

Robert White 37:11
Look, my father, I played baseball. I played 

basketball. My father never saw one game. Wow. I'm and and, you know, as a kid, that's just the way it is. Yeah. You know, you just kind of deal with it and but it subconsciously, you pile up these memories and the way you your belief system translates, that is I'm not enough to get him. Yeah. To get his attention. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth his attention. That's it. You know, And I don't I'm not a psychologist, but I do understand that just from my own therapy and and and reading and, you know, working through things in my life so that that 12 years in Aspen, you know, 

and of course, I have this wise ass brother Sam, I'm actually going to see I'm going to see him in ten days. I'm going to Arizona for a visit and I'm going to get some time with with my brother and his wife, which I'm really nice, but he's a wise ass, you know? And every family's got one. He's ours. Yeah. So I was in a he and his he and his wife invited me to this very nice party at their home once. And, and so there's social groups around me, and they're trying to figure me out. You know, I didn't get it at the time, you know, just kind of unconscious. But I and 

so the story starts getting told. And then Sam, being the provocateur that he is, says, Well, Robert, tell him how much money you lost, you know, And now I'm 

I mean, there's some you can duck but when right when the questions that direct and I just said well I lost $30 million and people around him go oh my God, I can't believe that. And Sam's next statement was, well, at least he had 30 million to lose. 

Oh, 

you know. 

Wow. But I get a lot of questions about regret, But I don't regret a minute of that time in Aspen. Right. The kids had an incredible growing up experience, so totally different than mine. And, yeah, you know, we traveled together all over the world. We did. We skated together, snowboarded together, all those kinds of things. You know, my girls have a picture with Katie Couric. You know, 

we got to meet Bill Clinton in a social setting. Yeah. And get the famous two handed handshake that he does, you know? Yeah, all that stuff. I got to meet all kinds of Hollywood people, people from the Eagles, you know, singers, musicians through John. Lots of people like Kenny Loggins became a friend, you know, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. Incredible experience. And I don't regret any of it. I What? I do it the same way. No, I would have sold the company. I had all right for a lot of money and I turned them down. That was a major business mistake. I made it. No one else made it. And and I learned something about myself and hubris 

out of that experience. But I don't regret it. And what I learned from that actually shows up today in the work that I do with senior executives and with owners of companies around the importance of being a leader, being a vocal leader around purpose and vision and values, and your strategic intent and listening more and a whole bunch of things like that came from my failure. It was a very expensive education. 

Rich Bennett 41:17
But that's how you learn. 

Robert White 41:19
Yes. 

Rich Bennett 41:21
So that's how you learn. You learn from failing. 

Robert White 41:23
Yep. And it also put me back in front of people know in a more powerful way and a more human way. So I went back to the front of the room. I started doing trainings. I recently spent six years in China doing leadership training for over 20,000 people and directly, not now, not a company. Me and a team that I put together to support me. I spoke before more than 100,000 people and did trainings for over 20,000 and that six years incredible experience all over China, all over Asia. Again. And I've just a wonderful, wonderful experience. Then I got banned in China. So I'm I'm back and. 

Rich Bennett 42:08
It what 

you got banned in China. 

Robert White 42:14
Yeah know I'm kind of proud of that. I was. 

Rich Bennett 42:17
Going, oh, okay. 

Robert White 42:20
But from a business perspective, that was disappointing. But 

I'm I'm okay being banned in China. 

Rich Bennett 42:29
So I have to ask. You got. 

Robert White 42:31
Bad. Yeah, well, all American trainers got banned, but my name is just at the top. Okay? You know, 

so I suppose I should be proud of being at the top of the list. Right? He made it to number one, right? I'm number one. 

Rich Bennett 42:51
So I. So the book. When did the book actually come out? 

Robert White 42:54
I started I well, for 20 years people told me to write the book and I had a well, you know, based on our our success in the trainings and I had a well-rehearsed series of excuses the my that the main one being that we do experiential learning a book is not an experience, which is not true, by the way. A book, an experience. Yeah. So I remember as a teenager reading The Old Man in the Sea, Hemingway, his book. If you don't have an experience reading that book, you you'd have to be dead. Yeah, dead. Yet only a dead person will not have an experience. But somehow that didn't. I didn't figure that out. And so that was one of my excuses. I was really it was really part of this. You are not enough. It, you know, essential insecurity because the book is a very public thing. And I just I hid behind the scenes with my dad. I mix with my spring and with Arc. Nobody knew who I was. They knew our trainers, they knew our consultants, they knew our people. And our people love that, that I put them out front and that I'm hiding in the background, running the company book. Write books are very public thing. So I ducked it and for years and then along came Stephen Covey and the seven. Yeah. And about one third of that book is our material, about one third is only slightly hidden Mormon faith, and one third is his original material. And all of that adds up to a terrific wow. And 25 million copies sold the last time I checked, 25 million copies. Sheesh. So that embarrassed me. 

And I wrote the book and at Source. And that's a whole other story, though. Take another hour. 

The book has become a best seller in English, best seller in Mandarin, Chinese best seller in traditional Chinese, and hopefully we're going to get started on the Spanish edition this month. So it's become a bestseller worldwide and I'm very proud of it. And a lot of, you know, I was very nervous when it came out, but some kind of famous people that I love and respect, like Ken Blanchard and that one guy and Jeremy Kleiner, the founder of Career Track and all these really kind of famous people, liked it and bought copies for their family and all that stuff. So I am I like the book. I'm proud of it. One of the things that happened when the book was published is that people started telling me they liked it and ordering copies for their family was really a wonderful experience. And then people would say, But there's one one disappointment or one thing I didn't like. Or of course I would say, What is that? And they said they would write the name of the book as Living an extraordinary life. They would say, I thought the book would be about you and your extraordinary life. And it's not. And I would say, of course No, it's not. It's about the interaction between thousands and thousands of graduates and our material. It's real life, right? The book's built around real life stories of people that were maybe struggling, maybe really doing really well in their life, and how the trainings improved their life and how the ideas behind the trainings. So I would say now it's not about me. What I didn't say for many years is there is one chapter about me, okay? And I've come out, I've mentioned it here, and that is you are not enough. And the subtitle of that chapter is The most Limiting Belief in the World. You are not Enough. And I was living that. And I mean, it doesn't say in the book that that chapter is about me, but it's a book, right? Well, they're going. 

Rich Bennett 47:15
In there now when they buy the. 

Robert White 47:16
Book, right? Yeah, right, right. And I you know, but I interpreted what happened with me as a child that I'm not enough. And but I've also discovered in working with people over the years that many of us hold that belief either subconsciously or consciously. Well, you get enough education or I had a rough start or well, I failed when I was in my twenties and I don't want to do that again. It's all on. You are not enough. You're not handsome enough, you're not pretty enough, you are not intelligent enough, you're not disciplined enough. You are. You don't. You didn't go to the right school. You went to a state school. You didn't go to the Ivy League. It goes on and on. I mean, I know I have clients making $1,000,000 a year who think they are not enough. And and they can tell you specifically why they're not enough. You know, it's even gotten a name, the imposter syndrome. Yes. Know, I. This was all an accident. I hope nobody finds out I'm really not enough. And so I'm you know, when I work with them, I'm working with me. You know, really. And I think something that's happened for me as I've gotten older is a very simple statement. I don't know a way to say it right, that everybody would really get it. I'm enough. I'm enough. And who are you? Are you? You know, there's we're approaching 8 billion people on the planet, rich, poor and not one of them has the same fingerprint as someone else. 8 billion unique fingerprints, 8 billion. My friend Arjan Singh, is this a marketing genius guy? Very wise man and a great husband. A great father, brilliant guy. He says we are all one of one. 

We're one of one. We're unique. God put us here with a unique purpose. Something. Yeah. It might be to be the best father on the block. Maybe that's your purpose. It might be to be the best cook and housewife and mom. It might be, though it also might be to be that the woman that you mentioned around addiction, you know, and what she would do. Yeah. You know, I mean, that's. That's purpose and action. Yeah. Yeah. There's no way to explain her passion, right? It's just there. That's God put her here to do that And blood Right. And bless her blessings upon blessings. My my mentor Alexander often said so you know, my message here and these these maturing years is year enough. 

Get over. 

Rich Bennett 50:28
That. I love that. 

Robert White 50:29
Get over all the doubts and fears. You're enough now. What are you going to do with that? With whoever you are? What are you going to do with it? And end of my final story on that is that for the last maybe ten years of my work with Arc, living in Aspen, I did one training a year. You know, I worked five days a year. And I my staff interpreted that right. And it was about legacy. And for executives, people that were hugely successful would come and spend five days with me in Aspen. And each evening they would get a handout with the instruction to read this over overnight and come in. And we'll talk about it tomorrow morning. And one of those handouts was called the dancing total Taker. And I think it's a good way for us to end our conversation because it was a true story written by a reporter in San Francisco about a guy who was collecting tolls back in the mechanical days. And you give me two bucks, I give you a ticket on the Golden Gate Bridge between San Francisco and Marin County. And of course, every morning the commuters would line up at about ten toll booths in a huge rush, you know, thousands and thousands of them. And the route, what the reporter noticed or somebody tipped them off about it is that nine of the ten gates would have one or two or three cars waiting and one gate would have 20 cars, which doesn't make sense. Right? Why wouldn't you just go to the empty? 

Rich Bennett 52:08
Almost empty? Yeah. 

Robert White 52:10
So he investigated it and he found out this guy 

that took tolls, which, you know, got to be one of the most boring jobs on the planet. And you're dealing with grumpy people in the morning who didn't ever get, you know, whatever this guy is. His dream was to be a dancer. And so he went to his boss and he said, could I put a boombox in my booth? And, you know, that kind of an organization is like, get out of here. Of course you can, right? I don't care. So I put a boom box and it broke and he danced in his booth and he danced every day for 8 hours and worked on his moves. 

He he was so filled with joy that people would wait extra minutes to go through his booth and pay him the $2 instead of somebody else. The dancing toll taker, I think in you know, we're in chaotic times. We got a lot of illness. We got a lot of people struggling for meaning in their life. I think that story has a lot of value. And absolutely, you know, when you get that year enough, you will find a way to express yourself and and express the gifts that life is to you.